The green Jacket- The Works

Goodbye

2011-12-08T08:32:00.000-08:00

I had a dream of her yesterday.

For the first time in so many years, I actually visualised her. In it, she was beautiful and she was shining, like she was so absolutely happy that nothing could make her sad. Yet she gave me a sad smile, and there were words, but I can't remember what they were.

I just felt a sadness and a feeling of goodbye.

A friend asked why I thought she was the perfect one for me. I just replied " in that 9 months we were together, I was always happy."

She's gone now, whereever she is. She added me on facebook a few months ago, but I adamantly refused to accept her friendship. I'm petty that way I guess, but I will never forgive her for leaving.

I still wonder why.

I might be happy that 9 months, but I've been miserable ever since. Hana and I have so much to bicker about, but when the chips are down and the friends refuse to help, I know she will always save me. She will always laugh at my jokes and she is patient with my idiosyncracies.

I traded the love of my life for my soulmate. And I have no qualms to say that Hana will always be my perfect partner.

Goodbye Mira. You were the most awesome gf a guy could ask for. But u never saw me as anything more than a means to an end. I was never anything but a passing chapter in your book.

May your future be blessed, and your love be pure. Because mine is.

Thinking of my bimbo princess so far away. Honey, enjoy ur trip ok.. I love u and I can't wait to spend the rest of my life with u.

Seba Duvall

Rage against the Machine

2010-04-25T21:50:00.000-07:00

Pedalling never seemed so bloody hard siah. I just bought my bike, a second hand merida with sora parts at 700 with speedo meters added to the mix. It was frakking thrilling to be zooming around at 30-odd kmh, but right now im reaping what i Sow: my balls are aching! LOL

Im aiming to hit Sembawang Park and back next, before going further afield. Its nice to know that living in the north means you can go either east or west easily!

Im heading for my last brunei trip in mid-may. Good thing ill be able to celebrate my anniversary with my lovely partner Hana, and hopefully we'll last a lot longer than we're supposed to(since we were expected to last about a week together according to our supportive friends).

Im still aiming to finish the half marathon this year. Means i have to start clocking in mileage, and hopefully, hit at least 16 km before august. I think its doable? but need to have some sort of encouragement. Maybe those rock hard abs ive always wanted to have can be achieved once im fitter.

On the coaching front, i still have yet to get anything done. It looks pretty hard to get thru to the FAS, since they arent very clear on their webby. ill have to come up with a way to get thru to them..
:)

im moving forward! woo hoo!

Next step

2010-03-27T14:52:00.000-07:00

Ive decided. Im going to teach.

Ive decided. Im going to coach football. Join Fifa. gotta go for my pre=lim license and my C coaching license first.

Because if i got it, ill be acheiving my COACH CARTER fantasy. haha

Ive decided. To stop deciding.

Self destruction

2009-12-28T16:55:00.000-08:00

I'm pour some oil and flick a light.

Self-immolation.

Dreams

2009-12-26T04:36:00.000-08:00

Are they real? Are your futures fortold, your life documented in flashes of movie imagery, with the sole viewer being you and no one else?

Are they just impulses from the brain of what your subconcious really wants? Your innermost desires, your most darkest, most sadistic desires?

Are they metaphors, to allow you to see things that you are never meant to see? The secrets of life itself?

Or are they utter rubbish. Just another dosage of cosmic entertainment as you rest, the song you hear as the doors close and the lift moves to the next floor?

It was so real. I saw you, with someone else, and it hurt. I felt lost.

We were in a restaurant.

You told me that you can't be with me. That you left because you had your reasons, and that you were happy now.

And you said you couldn't bear my child.

Then the scene shifted. And it became her. And me. Her face was slightly older, slightly more world weary. But there was an enthusiasm that I had never seen before. She took my hand and placed it on her stomach. And then she said," don't worry. I will have your baby."

it felt so real.

But like I said. It's utter rubbish.

Something New?

2009-12-06T05:50:00.000-08:00

Im in my fourth year of my Army life.. things are getting a little monotonous, a little guessable.. im going to be 24 next year, and im still unable to write anything on Ilyas.

Ive applied for SMU. and Ive applied to the American University of Richmond in the UK. Thats just a dream. I cant afford to pay 120k just to get a degree. But hell, it would be so much fun to go.

I want to travel again. I want to discover myself, because frankly, i havent found anything worthwhile about myself. I figured out that i am capable of the best and the worst things, and that i am never at ease or at peace with myself. I realise that I am the worst part of being Human. Hopefully, i can move on. Hopefully.

I dunnoe how im feeling. I dun want to know why im here. I just want to desroy everything thats good and real because it isnt.

so difficult to explain. So badly in need of an outlet. Here it is. And your still my muse.

Im doing my S.A.T.S

2009-09-07T02:02:00.000-07:00

Can you believe it? I have no idea how im going to ace it, but its my shot to get into SMU and if it works, ill be on course to get my teaching license. Imagine that! :)

Halo ODST

2009-09-07T02:01:00.000-07:00

Im not a halo fan. But just check this out..

Social Relationships

2009-08-27T15:07:00.000-07:00

When a boy and a girl meet, sometimes certain emotions develope between them that draw them closer together regardless of background, age or any thing that looks remotely like sense. They talk more often, laugh together, and share some common views that they both agree on. Both these humans will slowly realise that each others presence is supremely important after awhile; hence one of them(usually the male) will come up with some random yet totally un-subtle way to meet, where the other person would agree even though its totally ridiculous to expect a girl to go shopping for goalkeeper gloves.

The magic truly starts to work when they meet for the first time. The first eye contact. The tentative smiles. The electrifying accidental touch that makes all sorts of crawly feeling on one's skin and the almost immediate apology. All this would help to build on a foundation that had already been built over those long nights of serious and probing discussions and help further a couple along towards something that many describe as "falling in love", in which case both parties must be utterly insane to willingly join together in a relationship that will not end well for either party.

Im not a cynic. Im just sick of swallowing my own saliva.

LOLOLOLO!

2009-08-10T22:06:00.001-07:00

WTF! Fucking funny! Took dis of Dhans blog..

102nd Post

2009-07-05T09:44:00.000-07:00

Wow! I completely missed the century of posts so im here to celebrate!

Ive forgotten how to be a civilian. I mean, its all well and good that i book out alot and that i try to spend my weekends with friends and family. But the truth is, my memory is so much fuller since i got into the army. I have so many things to do, that theres alot of memorable moments vs those days where i would play my playstation2 from the time i woke up to the time i slept.

Being an officer has thought me many things. But most of all, it has thought me the importance of decisions.

so im going to decide to sleep now. hah.

Heres a glass to the next 100 posts..

Knee Deep in the Sea

2009-06-23T17:03:00.000-07:00

If your familiar with first person shooters, you'd know that one's from Doom. The original FPS that had muliti-weapon arsenal, cool graphics and a bevy of monsters to take on that will never leave you bored. The reason why its the title for this is not because im blogging about it. Rather, i just like those few words, because evidentally, im knee deep in the sea of shit!

Thats right, ladies and Gents. I think its time you guys gave me the benefit of the doubt and just let me be. Please. I know how it looks and I frankly couldnt care less, but it affects us both and I would rather it just affect me. So if you have anything to say at all, say it to me. After all, I am the elder one here, so if anyone has anything to say feel free to knock on my door, but be aware that i might answer late, cos i can barely move my legs thru this dense concentration of faeces.

There are only 3 peoples opinion that matter. Hers. His. Him(the big guy). I love you guys. I would support you thru whatever you want to do, no matter how stupid or inane. I have laid down my time and my blood for you both, and I love you. If it hurts you im sorry. If it hurts the organisation, im sorry. I'm trying my best here, but all i get is shtick and i can take it, but she is finding it hard. So please. If not for me, then do it for her.

I know how it looks. She's young and part of our circle of friends, and im older, with a not very good track record. But why is it that im the bad one here? I just put myself out there you know? Ive been hurt so many times by the girls themselves, so why are you guys giving me a hard time as well? giving us?

Please. Im begging for all I am worth and, knowing that it doesnt amount to much, im begging some more. Please. Let us be. I can go on the whole day about how sorry I am, but like you said, its done. Neither of us saw it coming and when we both fell in it was too late to go back.

So please. Lend a helping hand to me cos the smell of shit is getting too strong.

Growing old

2009-06-15T19:42:00.000-07:00

Im getting so old.

You know that feeling when every decision you make has consequences? And im not talking about the rewards. Its just that i keep finding myself in these damned-if-you-do-damned-if-you-don't circumstances. They just seem to pop up everywhere. I mean, seriously, you cant make these stuff up.

Ive been trying so hard to steer clear of trouble, to steer clear of any dramatic mishaps that seem to love manifesting itself in my life. Ive got a stable job, stable friends, stable life( and i dont mean anything equestrian here) but my life is still so full of IT! I seem to attract trouble. its exactly what happens to Jackie Chan in all his movies. You know? Where he gets attacked for no reason and all he can say is "Leave me ah-lone!" as he whoops some ass. He's got this really scared shit-less look on his face even as he keeps saying "I don wanna no troubre!" and karate-ing every mean guy in sight.

Im not enjoying this. I just want a life thats simple and fulfilling, with a good job, a great wife, kids, a house by a lake, a mini cooper, some weird but cool neighbours plus a novel to work on and im all set to kick back and wait for death to embrace me. Carpe Nox. The end. Finito. But to find this singaporean dream is so tough. so painful. So wrought with torturing emotions and with unendurable actions, not to mention almost impossible because a good lake is hard to find here. I wish i didnt feel like i betrayed people i love. I wish i could hold on to my wealth for my future. I wish i could do what i really want to do instead of settling for a job that i dont see a future in.

I want to decide! I want to find a reason why! i want to satisfy my need to constantly think 3 times into the matter and arrive nowhere whilst trying to look confident and unperturbed, smiling and joking away. Im an oxymoron, a thinking man of action, a stupid genius, a tragic smile, all this and more!

But all i want to be is normal. With normal problems. normal solutions. Normal.

This entry is written for me as an end user. So i apologise when i say, "go figure".

Purpose

2009-04-13T07:33:00.000-07:00

I feel better nowadays. More energetic. Life at work seems so much more happening, and i feel like throwing myself into my job. If only i can get off my ass, ill start, i promise.

Ive decided its 3 years is enough. I keep saying how much i love my job, but maybe, just maybe, its all an infinite lie designed to make me believe that i like doing this, that the money i earn is a great incentive, that im always trying to maintain my fitness and better my physique. That its all a good thing.

Of course it is. Im just losing everything else.

Relationships are overrated. Im saying this as someone who has been there and done that, as someone who has been hurt over and over, someone who is jaded, who still dares to dream. But right at this moment, i can safely say that i dun need to be in one right now. Period. Theres so many things i need to settle first, and throwing myself into another rollercoaster ride of emotions is just not going to work.

Ill prolly wait till i go crazy seeing kissy couples and marryied friends before ill think of getting back on that horse.

So what do we do when we fall? we pick ourselves up again. But unfortunately, ive broken both arms and legs, so i can only nod my attempt at getting up.

Those people who are in love? I salute u, and wish u all the best of luck. Everyone else who want to ram down the fact that ur love lifes the epitome, please, go talk to each other. Cos we singletons who confidentally believe tat our methods better dun wanna hear it.

But hey. What are friends for? hah.

Laughter

2009-04-01T09:05:00.000-07:00

The greatest thing and the most rewarding thing I have ever done was to make my mother laugh.

Alice

2009-03-16T23:57:00.000-07:00

Have you ever looked in the mirror and just smiled at yourself cos your so happy how far you've gone? A small smile of congratulations at your current situation, on the difference that you have made in the world? I do it quite often, actually. I see a nerdy, geeky guy with plenty of issues who has worked so very hard at bettering himself, improving himself so he can arrive at where he is now. A lonely boy who turned into an estranged teen who, finally, becomes a man.

I smile and i smile. And i realise, through the mirror, theres so many more things i have yet to achieve. That i am far from the finished product. That i have no idea where to go next, or how to progress so that i can find this ultimate Taufiq.

I know what i want. And its so embarrasing. Ive always known it, but ive never felt it this hard and heavy before. I always knew I was going to be good at that, but this urgency at wanting to achieve it? I dunnoe.

And im tired of multiple variables.

LOL part 2

2009-03-09T09:48:00.001-07:00

Hahahhaa..

I love this vid

LOL

2009-03-09T09:44:00.000-07:00

Thanks Harry for this incredibly funny and disturbingly attractive video of Natalie Portman..

OMG!!

2009-03-01T16:22:00.000-08:00

I spent the whole of saturday watching the last season of the OC.

Continued watching on sunday.

Finally found some time to skip out to get some blank dvds from the store.

Spent the next 5 hours burning CHUCK on dvd to watch at work.

Slept late to finish this. Woke up late. Burned summore.

Didnt bring it to work, cos its on MY FREAKIN' TABLE!!!

Im getting old. My memory is degenerating. I left my wallet in camp the last time i left work, and i keep issuing the wrong instructions to my guys. Either that, or my brain is being eaten by dream zombies..

Shite. This week looks ominous.

Everything

2009-02-21T08:37:00.000-08:00

Your a falling star
Your the get away car
Your the line in the sand
When i go too far

Your the swimming pool
On my estate
Your the perfect thing to sing

And you play it coy
But its kinda cute
When you smile at me you know exactly what you do
Baby dont pretend,
That you dont know its true
That you can see it when i look at u

And in this crazy life, in this crazy times
Its you, its you, you make me sing,
Your every line, your every word
Your everything.

Im so tired nowadays. The fire inside doesnt seem to burn anymore cos everything seems murky. Expectations, objectives, plans. Everything seems to mean everything but mean nothing. How oxymoronic can u get?

I cant help but feel like im in a quaterlife crisis.

The Ride of the Valkyrie

2009-02-16T08:14:00.000-08:00

After watching this movie ive learnt a few things.

1)My Armour friend was telling me that if things start to falter in an operation, it always takes an Armour Officer to get things done.

2)Indecision kills. Literally.

3)A man is only a man when he makes a decision and sticks with it no matter what the consequence. That way, he's word is always true, and no one can take that away from him.

4)Hitler was either damn lucky or the rest were damn unlucky. Either way, we all knew how it was going to end.

5)Every operation has its cock ups. You can never run out of contingencies.

I liked Valkyrie. It reminded me of how the Romans used to try and oust the current government. It was always for the good of Rome, for the good of the people, for the good of the future. In fact, it normally meant for the good of the individual or a select few. In retrospect, we could say that the guys behind the plots to destroy Hitler were doing the right thing, but how could they have known that at that time? Everyone was still behind the regime. So how could this guys have the foresight to actually say " hey, i think this is wrong. I believe that i should not standby and let it happen." Without knowing what lay in the future, they put everything on the line to achieve the ideals and principles they stood for, believing what they were doing was right and just.

As Tommy puts it so eloquently in 'Snatch' as he points the gun to the head of the gangsta armed with a baseball bat, will i ever have the "minerals" to stick to my plan, no matter the cost?

Inshallah. God Willing.

V-Day

2009-02-14T10:22:00.001-08:00

A few things ive learnt today:-

1) v day isnt so bad when u spend it with friends. No matter how incredibly negative u feel.

2) i think ive dated too much cos one ex is attached to someone close to me while another is getting married to a cousin!

3) you can blog with the iphone!

4) no matter how bad things go, faith in your product is the most rewarding thing of all. Cos no matter what, theres always a chance of success. Apologies to all because i began to lose faith in everything. And everyone.

5) im not as funny as i thought.

6) im not as mature as i thought.

7) im wise enough to realise iM not very mature.

8) im taking the first steps in accomplishing the 3 tasks i set for myself!

Night all. Im all DONE for the day..

:D

Musings

2009-02-12T09:48:00.000-08:00

Ive been thinking.. Do things really change when u grow up? i mean, sure, when i was 10 i loved drinking kickapoo joy juice, you know that acidic yellow drink filled with nothing but sugar and caffeine? Now i dont really like it that much, perhaps a 4 out of ten?

A couple of years ago, i was presented with an opportunity that i knew i would miss if i blinked. So i didnt. Worked as best i can at it, only to find that in the end, i was just kidding myself that i would achieve that dream.

Some time ago, miracles of miracles, ANOTHER opportunity presented itself. Much of the same as the intitial one but with differing variables: i was older, wiser, had more experience in the field and I knew what it took to actually succeed in this endaevour. But no matter how hard i tried, twisting this way and that, patiently holding back the young enthusiastic buck who had all but died away, only to find the end result matching the earlier chance.

So, however much ive grown, have i really changed at all? I still look the same, albeit more leathery and haggard due to the exposure to the sun. Im still the same height, the same built, my hairs the same colour. But i know that ive changed. My eyes are different. My brain think in different patterns. My words are measured, still vulgar and abrasive at times, but gentle. I might not have become smarter but i definitely have become wiser. So why the same outcome?

I guess, in retrospect, my goals might have changed, but my reaction to certain subject matter,places and people are still the same. I might have dulled the foolish tongue, but even a blunt knife can kill. Im still the same person after all. Just slightly stronger, more patient, and more resilient.

I wont CMCF right now. Even though i want to. There is just no point. Its a waste of energy and will only lead to me being utterly shagged out. No. i will be patient, as is my wont. I will be disciplined, and i will not let this setback destroy the Zen that i have built over the past 2 years of my life.

hmmph. Sometimes im really Macam paham only.. haha..

Alright! Lets write!

2009-01-23T21:21:00.000-08:00

"So, there i was just basically sitting there doing just nothing, and this guy comes up to me and says, you gotta be kidding me! and he jams this really ancient looking piece, and im talking ancient dinosauric with a capital D, right into my armpit and just laughs! Yeah, he just laughs! Its like he was a maniac or something!"

I wondered silently if it was a maniac with a capital M.

"So then i says to him.." Moe was determined to tell his story, but i could tell it was a believable as his rolex that had the numbers 3, 6, and 9 in roman numerals and totally poiting in the wrong directions.

"So you say to him."

"What?" Brows furrowed, brain trying to register this sentence but unfortunately, if his noggin was a register it was not a very big one. Or a very fast one. "That's what i said!"

"Nope, you said, 'So then, i says to him' dot dot dot," I said, underlining the dots with a dot on my notebook. "Its say. Present tense, singular."

Face getting redder now. Sweat bumps appearing among swarthy features and erupting down his grimy skin. Moe mouth opens and close for a few more times before he decided having it stay shut was the proper thing to do.

"Ok, Mr Turner. I just had a pretty long night. One of my clients just got threatened by her ex and I was up all night doing surveillance. I know your very enthusiastic, and this is the what.. 5th time your applying for this job?"

Moe looked affronted and held up seven fingers.

"Fine, 7th time. But i really need a proper assistant. someone who can work my file drawers, pull up leads from the streets while im up elsewhere, someone who can do surveillance while im trying to break in. I mean youve got nothing but your stories that you keep telling me are true!" Actually, i was pretty impressed with his record. Born in '98, he had served with the boys in flanders and was one of the few who came back with nary a gas mark. Recorded company marksman, fittest man in his platoon and seems to have been almost decorated with the congressional medal of honour, but he claimed it was someone else. The perfect guy for the team i was assembling.

But he just can't shut up!

"But they are true! The german put his piece in my armpit, started yelling crazy horse, so i smashed him in the face with a leftover under and he went willy-nilly over no mans land back to his mama's skirts! And i even got a little bit of him with me!" Moe took out an envelope from the inside of his jacket pocket and opened it. Inside was a small brownish lump that he shook onto his hand, before almost throwing it at me to let me see.

"See, thats his front teeth, the one I smashed in when he tried to bite me a little later!" His grin was crazy but winning, and when i say winning i mean like winning the bullet in Russian Roulette.

I waved my hand. "Ill think about it. Right now im really busy."

"Come one, boss!" He had whisked away the tooth and now had his hat in his hands. " ive got kids to feed, see? And the missus aint going to be too pleased if i dont get no job soon. She promised not to give me any whoopi if i dont get something together!"

i winced, got out of my chair and opened the door to my office with a bang. "Out! i dont want to hear about the ammoural adventures of the toad family! Ill think about it I said, and ill call on you if i need your services! Go!"

Moe put his hat on and morosely left, dragging his scuffed shoes over my persian carpet. He caught his hat in the chandlier that Monica bought me when we went to paris on our honeymoon, stumbled,tripped over Keejo, who was hidding under the divan the whole time and only choosing that perfect instant to dash out and have a sniff at Moe, who finally went head first through my window.

I put my head in my hands.

There was a sound of glass pieces being dropped on the floor as Moe extricated himself from the mess. " Im so.. so sorry, mister.."

"GET!"

13

2009-01-12T17:44:00.000-08:00

13 days after the new year, and things are kinda looking up.

Remember i said i might bollock up my new years eve? well i didnt, apparently, and it still turned out great. Completely missed the fireworks though, but it was kinda fun running into dome to surprise man(who wasnt really surprised, by the way) and playing a few hands of "Family business". It was fun, cos we all came up with nick names and mine was the Green Coat(no surprise there), Dhaniah was "Blind" Kelly, Aishah was Black widow, Yi Han was Doc Cheong, Yazid was RugRats(don't ask), Shai was the Godfather(even less of a surprise) shahdon was Don IvannaHumpalot(which was surprisingly funny!) and Man i christened as Don Mantero.. It was night full of laughs and i smile everytime i think about it.. It was friendship that had lasted for 4 years now, and still going strong.. :)

I rented a car for Shai's birthday bash and was well rewarded by getting saddled with the emcee job, which was kinda cool i suppose.. I did pretty well( at least that was what i was told lah) and i suppose i could take alot from that particular experience, seeing that i had absolutely no time to plan and just winged it all the goddamn way.. but it was fun and i kinda got the crowd joining in, so it was a success!

I had a few objectives to meet for the car, i mean I did pay 230 dollars for a beat up Swift, and if I didnt meet them i would have been pretty pissed off.

Haha. Good thing I accomplished every single one I set out to do. Even the hardest, most impossible one. 2009 is looking like a good year. :)

New Year

2008-12-29T10:03:00.000-08:00

Well. 2 more days to the new year. Woop di doo.

The way I see it, i have a choice: should i view this year in an optimistic way, or a crap negative way? Because in many cases, it fits both profiles very, very well.

I think back to the beginning of the year, and remembered how i started it. 2008 was a year of promise, career going well, had someone i was slowly falling for, and my family is as tightly knit as ever. Things seem pretty smooth sailing to me.

Someone told me that the way you spend New Years Eve is the way you were going to spend the new year. I think thats pretty bullshit lah. Here I am at the end of the year, and all i can think about are the negative thats happened.

But what if its the reverse? Say, if i had a totally bollocky new years eve, getting arrested by the cops for drink driving, find that my gf is making out with another guy, lose my commission, lose the ability to talk cock at a very fast pace, swallowing a piece of my shoe(wow. random.) even getting laughd at by my friends.. maybe its going to turn out better than expected! Maybe ill get rich or something, find nirvana, write a script that's worth millions, fall in love with the gal of my dreams, own a restaurant.. the positive things are endless! yes!

I shall do it! i Shall bollock up my new year!

Oh, who gives a fuck. I just wanna brood.

Happy New Year everyone. Ill be hiding in my bunk doing something really sad. Hah.

Terence Lee- An old classmate

2008-12-16T01:19:00.001-08:00

For five years I've known you, yet we've became as strangers, oblivious to each other's presence.
There were times you shared, your sorrows and pains, your struggles and your weaknesses, but what did it amount to?
With silence you killed me and this relationship, pretending I'm a stranger.
Silence is lethal, it means nothing, yet says so much.
It causes the mind to go crazy, to speculate, and obliterate.
It says, "leave me alone!" Yet causes the heart to grow ever fonder.
Silence is a knife, cutting without a sound, splitting without much fuss.
It is potent, effective, yet empty at the same time.
It whispers "go no farther" to a car speeding at a hundred miles an hour.
Perhaps it's not me, but yourself, or the institution, that's causing you to feel this way.
Maybe you feel guilty, embaressed, or non-chalant.
Maybe you feel angry, sad, and disappointed.
Maybe it's disillusionment, disgust, and utter shame.
A thousand maybes, all the fruit of your silence.
Why do this to me, and to many others?
What irony, in the age of social networking, that you are silent yet loud at the same time.
Your Facebook profile screams at me, inviting me to peek into your life.
From personal to impersonal, your smile fades, your joy reeks, it disgusts me.
What hides behind that smile? Is it unbridled joy, endless sorrow, or something in between?
Your presence is an insult, a constant shadow, chasing me into my dreams.
It's time to let you go, yet it's so hard.
Maybe we will meet someday again, and I wish you success.
May you find happiness in your pursuits, and will you please reach your dreams for me?
Should you leave these shores, may you not forget yourself.
Someday, maybe, we will meet.
May God be with you.

Courtesy of Senhor Terence Lee, an ex-classmate with flair for the liguistics.

I need a target

2008-12-09T01:47:00.000-08:00

Oh well, things are pretty peachy for now. Just got my license, and been driving around like a crazy person for the past few days(crazy as in crazy BUT safe). Took leave for today so i cud relax abit and use up some of that un-used leave thats been accumulating.

Also, on another front, just did Judgement day and i just wanted to say how boring it was.. haha.. it was pretty straight forward lah, and i need a story with more twist than that.. It was too errmm.. serious for me.. but the cast and audience were really cool, so im good.

I want to welcome Shahdon back. Missed his orc laughter but now he's back, its just non-stop laughs. Im beginning to miss hanging with Yazid too, tho if things go as i see it, i could potentially see him everyday in camp(which is too lame for my taste :) )

Nearly got the car towed away on sunday, cos i totally forgot about the Standard Chart marathon. They had already set up, the tow truck was poised behind my car, and the cisco guys were already gesturing to each other about how to go about towing the car away. Luckily i got there in time after running my own marathon with zallie and hamad.. haha.. That was lucky!

I really need a target. or at least something to look forward too. Suddenly, everything feels so out of focus, theres no more joy in anything. I feel like a zombie sometimes. Going thru the motions. There doesnt seem to be anything that can cheer me up from this funk, and the more I try, the less i want to continue trying.

Maybe ill go get myself my own car. then i wont mope around quite so much. haha.

:)

OH and YAH! Do visit our new webby!

http://iwantayellowchair.com/

to get updates of our productions, past, future and present..

Moment

2008-12-05T08:29:00.001-08:00

I don't know how to quit you.

God help me if i don't.

Eddie Izzard on Star wars Cantina

2008-11-25T10:35:00.001-08:00

hahahah... This is a made up scene with lego characters based on Eddie Izzards Stand up. It cracked me up just watching it. For those people prefering to see the original, its the second Video. Enjoy! :)

ORIGINAL!

The Singaporean Dream

2008-11-21T06:04:00.000-08:00

I had a conversation with Khamal a while back, and at that moment, it didnt strike a chord with me at all. I didnt agree when he said that being stuck in Singapore was the worst thing to happen to anyone. Getting a stable job, getting married, having a car and a condo, all this served only to root a person down, to prevent him from seeing the world.

I told him he was mad, that there was no better place to live in than Singapore. I told him how much i love my country, love my job, love my home.

Suddenly, things arent so clear. I saw a pic of a friend of mine, who is currently overseas, and i envy him. The total freedom of living in another place where things are different, and being given a chance to re-create oneself totally. New histories, new friends and a new life.

A second chance at everything.

Am I really ready to commit to anything now in my life? Am i willing to work in the same organisation for the rest of my days knowing that there's only one life to live? Am i super satisfied with what i have even though I wont be able to sate this recurrent feeling of wanderlust?

Doesnt matter. Someone once said that the best dreams are those that are unattainable.

HAHA! THIS IS COOL SHIT!

2008-11-17T19:44:00.000-08:00

Watch the first video, then watch the second!

I swear, if Shai was to write Shows like this for a living, he would do the same damn thing..

:)

Sailed away

2008-11-16T07:09:00.000-08:00

Ive been watching CHUCK again!

Found this as i was perusing(yes, big word!) you tube on the series..

SAILED AWAY

Does it hurt to hear me say
That I never really meant to stay
I left you right where I want you
Now there's nothin' left
And not a reason
There's nothin' left to believe in
When just one remains
I've sailed away

Such a foolish game
That we have been playin'
Now you got me right where you want me
I left you in the right
But you wouldn't let me take the fall
Now you've got me right where you want me

CHORUS
Now there's nothin' left
And that's the reason
There's not much left to believe in
If it's all just the same
I'll sail away
You pushed so hard
You have to know that
You might just get what you wanted
And when just one remains
I've sailed away

I found out on my own
Everything that I've been missin'
Now I've got you right where I want you
Now that we're apart
I see just who you are
You're always gonna be
The one to keep hatin'
Now I've got you right where I want you

chorus

I'm not one to hide my face behind the pain
It's not like me to beg you to stay
I'll just sail away

chorus

And when just one remains
You know I've sailed away

Does it hurt to hear me say
That I never really meant to stay

Judgement day

2008-11-10T05:49:00.000-08:00

Fans of Yellow Chair!

http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=45825520730&ref=share

Come and see our next prodcution!!!

Tekong

2008-11-08T08:43:00.000-08:00

I just came back(read: 2 days ago) from Tekong, and i realise something.. Army is getting so comfortable now! Theres a shelter, fans, lights, a parade square.. its a wonder that hey call it outfield anymore..

Things at work have been almost smooth cruising. My colleagues are pretty cool, at least the new leftenants while the older birds are quite cool about things.

Its not the same though. Ever since Taiwan ive been looking forward to coming home, but nowadays, i just wanna stay whereever it is I am cos its so much easier. Seriously. haha

As things go, theres a play entitled "Judgement Day" coming out on the 6th of December so if ya'll free, come on down to the Room upstairs. when i get the full in fo, itll be up. yeah? :) im acting in it!!

and i came out in 2x5 dol! woohoo!! my first few seconds of fame!

And Tak dong cheng, starring our very own Yazid Jalil was a blast! really! its so cool lah, seeing him on the big screen. What i wouldnt give to have acted with him

Sorry zid for not meeting up for movies. im pretty shagged out and the whole family is searching for the rat(s) thats been swarming around the house. Its not a stupid excuse. When u have to wade through rat poo you would noe. haha

Thats all. Very random, but all true.

Your on my mind.

Violent Stabbings In Woodlands!

2008-11-01T00:49:00.000-07:00

I found out a very shocking news the other day.. About a violent stabbing that happened in Woodlands. Its very sad to see how much the victim suffered before he died, there was blood, sweat and tears all over the place.

It was weird though. It seemed to have been a surgical strike to the heart , but the victim must have suffered quite alot due to the evidence shown. Clenched teeth. Dried tears on his eyebags. Body curled up in a foetal position. He was prety strong though, or else he had the endurance of an elephant on creatine, because he had crawled quite a distance away from the scene. You can see the blood smear stretching all the way to his house from the front gate.

I wonder if he will be mourned. Seems to be a pretty good looking bloke. Lived in a condo with his parents, sister and two brothers. Pity he had to go like that.

I saw the article where he had written a few words before he was stabbed. Seems like he was sorry about something he had done to his gf. There were a few dramatic lines involving waiting and hoping, or some such nonsense, but he did seem quite adamant that what he said be taken at face value. And oh, he mentioned he would love her forever.

Well, whatever he promised, he took it to his grave. Let us all take a few moments to remember the lost.

Because one of these days, we might find ourselves in a similar situation.

Shagged out? Totally

2008-10-26T17:04:00.000-07:00

Its been awhile since i chilled with pals and gals till the early hours. It was tiring and so absolutely fabulous in its way, but I cant shake off that feeling no matter how hard I try. Its a vicious cycle, the constant need to find something to do that busy's my mind so i wont come back to the same thoughts.

Sometimes its a blessing to be crap at multi-tasking.

I watched Nights in Rodanthe, Tropic thunder(again) and REC. It was a nice mix of romance,comedy and horror, combining to achieve the desired effect. Going out with Shai, Yaz and Sam never seemed so fun!

It was great seeing her again. Been awhile since we talked beb, but im glad i have friends like you! I used to be so full up on girlfriends that i really miss those days when i could have a female view on things without having to resort to asking my mum(which is not a good idea, actually). Ill upload ur photo soon, so you can stop griping me to send it to you, yeah?

Im tired. But content. Thanks for the night guys..

Reboot

2008-10-23T04:41:00.000-07:00

Who pressed the hidden bell,
that stopped all beauteous things?
The tinkling softness that breaks upon,
the brow of beggars and Kings.

Where is the shining sun,
that warms the timid grass?
The soaring clouds above the sea,
all gone to shadows and dust.

Why does the wind blow cold?
Across the scorched and charred ground.
The fading ring of that hidden bell,
how can my heart be found?

Anon.

Poets sum things up so damn well..

2008-10-15T07:24:00.000-07:00

I was sitting in the lecture(sports science i think) and i realise i was suddenly so PREGNANT with creative ideas. I wanted to pen down some Ilyas right away. But the problem was, where to start?

I could write about his death? Nah too passe.

I could write about his beginning? Batman Begins anyone?

I could write some non-stop action involving his super fast reflexes and an impervious green jacket? Smallville all over again.

I could write about his life in school? Back to hogwarts people!

AH! i Could write about his relationships with Lois and the red haired girl! erm.. no.. i dont think so.. sounds alot like my secondary school journal I unearthed the other day.. super kental!

So i sat there, all pregnant, not knowing where to give birth to my brilliant yet misunderstood ideas.. when i thought about something. Ever since i joined the army and set foot into OCS, Ive always wanted to make a movie, or a series, about a cadet in the army. It wouldnt just be my experience, but the total experience of a bunch of us narrating the times we were in green and had white bars on our shoulders. It would be so cool. How tough it is, the expectations,the friction between cadets, the love stories, the physical training, the mindless tekan, the Missions, the drama! all captured on film or in words.

But i dont think it would be allowed. It would definitely be rated and knowing our guys up there, itll be cut to nothing before it even hits the big screens.

It would be great though. It would be great to just document what ive done, How ive done, why i did it. To show how incredibly proud i am to be serving my nation in this capacity.

So i wrote a few scenes briefly(like really briefly. try one sentence each) and i found i was looking at a cool idea in the vein of Jarhead and/or Band of brothers(without the war).

Maybe ill continue to write later. Maybe not. See how lah.

:)

The other day i was looking at this box where i keep all my keepsakes of my past, and i found myself being drawn to the picture of me and Bella. There were two, one in the open, another squirraled away in a book. I had totally forgotten about her after the great bust up a couple of years ago(entirely my fault) and it was a quick punch to my brain to see us smiling so happily from the pictures that were taken 6 years ago. It was as if we didnt know that we were heading to a really messy separation.

But what to do.

Ive always known me and him were in this whole roman-carthaginian thing where neither could live while the other survives(or harry and volde come to think of it). Looks like i went the hannibal way( though ive always loved them better. Elephants in the alps and all that) but in retrospect, i think im okay with that. Im just sad that we cant be friends still. In previous entries i did say so, but i just want to clarify, to myself most of all (since this is my blog) that i dont harbour no feelings for dear old bella anymore. It was a sad teenage child who fell for her awkward beauty years ago, and obsessed over her everyday, practicing the words to say if the hoped for moment ever came. It did arrive, actually. :) and like all things,there's always room for mr cockup.

I miss the times we spent together. Looking back, i can laugh at how silly i was, a lost teenager with grandiose ideas of love. But that boy is gone now. He grew up, learnt from his mistakes, and dearly wished he could have his friend back, at least to talk to about shit thats going down.

But the man wishes in vain. The awkward girl? she's gone too.

sadly.

(wow.. so emo seh! stop it siak..)

how about a joke? anyone heard about the bakaweh joke?

woah!

2008-09-29T16:13:00.000-07:00

Its amaizng how many people actually read this crappy blog. firstly, the layout is unimpressive, un-cool and just green. Secondly, the writing is insipid, with mundane everyday events and un-funny jokes. Thirdly, there is an obvious lack of pictures suggesting the owner of not having a life(or a camera!). So why so many people actually read this blog?

Im flattered. Honestly. I started out wanting to put words to the life of Ilyas, and he has stagnated. He is lying in a pool of filth, retching for air. When i lost my green jacket, i felt it was the end. Ilyas was finally dead. Committed suicide.

I remember that night pretty well. I lost it, and i walked aimlessly for hours, combing thru the same area over and over, just looking for Ilyas. So many people had worn it, girls whom i had loved and lost and some i hold dear even now, had spent sometime feeling Ilyas' embrace. And myself. Ilyas had been a constant companion, my shield against the world, against pain, suffering, loneliness. It had been me. I was the Green Jacket. Who am i now?

Nothing will replace a thoroughbred. In Sharpe's Sword, when Sharpe had wanted a Kliganthel Blade, a sword made by the finest craftsman in Germany with the finest steel, he had to kill the owner to get it. But the blade was evil, it had too much innocent blood on it. when Sharpe was recovering from an almost mortal wound dealt by the owner with the kliganthel blade itself, Harper had made him a blade from a simple discarded cavalry Heavy sabre, sharpening it, polishing it, putting a gem in the hilt, lovingly made by a best friend for the ailing sharpe. Needless to say, Sharpe took that sword and killed the wowner of the kliganthel and thru the evil sword into a river.

Ilyas is gone. Taken from its previous owner without permission, it did not belong to me. It gave warmth to many, but none of them truly deserved wearing it.

But all hope is not lost. Love saves, and a new jacket, green as ilyas, lighter, more supple and smells better, worn by the woman i truely,madly, deeply love, was presented to me for my 22nd. By two people who i feel loves me a lot. :) Thank you khamal, fasihah. You guys rock.

Ilyas is dead. Its just Taufiq Now. Taufiq's Green Jacket.

2008-09-20T02:19:00.000-07:00

Was walking home from work, having had the most terrible and most frustrating day, and i bumped into safrizan, and old friend from poly. He was selling Ayam Percik(percik chicken, honestly i dont know the true translation.) and he called me over. We had a stick and he offered to send me home.

I was famished, so i decided to go makan first over at Al-amin. Suddenly, both of us started making calls and before the hour was up, we were joined by Qamah, Salim, Fir, Rasfan and Blaine. It was a super impromptu gathering but it was not unlooked for. I was immediately cheered up! haha

We had a long discussion, about life, and Ijan came up with a very interesting view on life.

LIFE IS A BOARD GAME OF SNAKE AND LADDERS.

Now this might sound cliche, but it made sense.

Say you have a target. perhaps a car. so you play the game, going up life's ladders to bring you closer, going down the snakes along the way. Sometimes, you see a ladder, but actually its a snake, masquerading as a ladder. Sometimes, you expect to fall but come out nearer to you target than you ever expected. The game,of course, isnt complete without dice. The dice are the choices we make, whether right or wrong, 1 or 6, will bring us closer or push us further from our target.

Now, concurrently, there are millions of other targets, each over and under our current target, and every decision we make moves the pieces on the other parallel boards as well. Cool huh? An infinite game of Snakes and ladders.

Would you like to play with me?

Update

2008-09-04T16:49:00.000-07:00

This past few weeks have been fascinating. Theres an end to a good job, beginning of a new one, a beautiful trip overseas and a sad reminder of the past. yes, it has been quite fascinating.

Im done with 5 SIR. After almost a year in the unit, ive learned plenty and made a lot of friends along the way. Hopefully, they feel the same way.. haha..

Its been a tough year, and Im glad to say that I enjoyed my PC tour immensely. The weight of responsibility, the need to make tough decisions and bear the consequences, the excitement before the breach.. Im going to miss it all. Itll be a change to be the one observing instead of actually fighting..

I went to Bali recently, with my beautiful girlfriend Mira (yep, gf already liao! :D) and we had a ball of a time! It was unfortunate that we hardly touched the water, but it was just gorgeous sitting by the sea, looking out at the waves thats the height of a 9 year old crashing against the serene sands.. do that while eating bakso and drinking sosro, and uve got a paradise ready-made. It felt a lot like a honeymoon, and people kept congratulating us for it( it was sweet, but totally untrue. Perhaps their wishes had something to do with the cheap plastic surfboard keychains they were trying to push onto us.. ).

There was one time i had to protect her honour as a couple of gasoline pumping goons were eyeing her up and making obscene gestures with the handle of their pumps (haha.. actually, they complimented on how pretty Mira was to the driver of our vehicle, who passed on the compliments. Honestly, Balinese people are so friendly!)

I want to go overseas again.. probably to australia or europe! that would be excellent.. :)

Anyway, ive been posted as instructor to OCS. So if you guys from the west wanna meet up, just drop me a line, cos im free! and im in the west! woohoo!

Cheers mate. will drop more pics soon..

2008-05-29T09:26:00.000-07:00

After sooo long, im finally in on the biggest adult secrets that ever was.You know how it is, when people whisper about it and stop the moment you enter a room. When everyone seems to laugh behind their hands when you ask them about it. The secret that has kept me up at night thinking, what can it be?

Well, im 22 this year, and i finally know what those people knew and i don't.

And its downright satisfying.

:)

Thats right. Im now part of THAT club. The exclusive club that many are in but is never spoken about to the uninitiated.

You want to know? Maybe u should grow up a bit first before i tell you *snicker*

Ok, ok, ill tell you.

(whispers) i just signed on for a driving license. *wink*

HAH! finally! im an adult!

2008-05-25T10:06:00.001-07:00

A fruitful rehearsal!

2008-05-20T23:12:00.001-07:00

MONSOON IS HERE!

A story about a girl. A boy. And the rain of the monsoon season.

$8 per ticket, 20 th June at 7.30 pm, 21st June 2.30 pm and 7.30 pm

Where? Seng Kang CC.

Come on guys. Ladies. Yellow Chair is back with more drama in the heartlands!

:)

2008-05-19T12:22:00.001-07:00

Hot and cold.

I am wondering.. hmm..

2008-05-18T14:35:00.000-07:00

I don't know you that well.
We so different, you and I.
But whenever im around you,
I can't stop smiling, i don't know why.

Your constantly on my mind.
Every little thing reminds me of you.
That smell in the air, that blade of grass.
the blazing sun, the shining dew.

I yearn to hold you,
Keep you safe from harm.
Even though we just met,
I want you in my arms.

Explain to me why im writing this nonsense at 545am in the morning, could you baby?

Cos i have no freaking idea.

:)

Missing you already.

2008-05-14T11:02:00.000-07:00

This song is great. Havent heard it for awhile, but when i was chatting with her, it popped up as a good song to set the 'mood'.

Dedicated to you, my sayang.

Just for you! muacks..

2008-05-12T09:24:00.000-07:00

its the 13th of may.

My 7th month in Battalion. Its pretty cool. Ta iwan was a blast. 100 km in 2 weeks. dats pretty cool, eh?

We fought hard. we fought well. 5 sir, ho-ah!

Haha.4 more months and its ord guys. Hold on.

2008-02-02T06:35:00.000-08:00

Its a new year, and a new month! and im finally back, in black(and white) to bring u more laughs and more drama from my ever exciting life.

yeap. its EXCITING.

First up, career. Hmm.. same same.. army life is pretty cool. I dont think ill ever be this happy to be in a job. Theres like cool guys to hang with, funny happenings that fill the day with endless laughter. I can sleep whenever i want, do practically anything(including bking in way after 12). How to complain? Smoking isnt just for the smoking corner anymore.. :)
bored? watch simpsons, supernatural, heroes.. etc etc.. all there, in the specialist bunk where i tend to rot in more now arrauf is on course..

Next.. LOVE. or lack thereof. I just went thru a really happy time with this girl. I mean, i havent had so much fun since dhan! And as i was waiting for the rainbow to disappear, the rain clouds came in and drenched the whole parade. With great happiness, there always hides great depression. What the americans went thru was nothing compared to what happened to me. SHeesh.

But, i still think i have the worlds greatest selection of friends! Special mention to Shabina, Fasihah, my sis, Shai and the ycp crew as well as the great specs of ALPHA coy plt 1.. thanks for ur constant support and companionship! I wouldnt be enjoying life so much if u guys arent in my life. :)

sappy siah. Blog only get so emo.

as nurul would say " stop it siah! so fall out boy."

peace (of me: by Britney.)

2007-10-04T15:48:00.000-07:00

wait wait wait.. i know im sad, but thats not the point.. its been so freaking long! dats the point actually.. hmm..

Im an officer now, 2LT Muhammad Taufiq of the 5Th Battalion Singapore infantry regiment, in-charge of platoon 1 of alpha company, the finest breed of soldiers since "soldier" and also the sly-est since.. err.. the fox?

Its been a tough month getting to know the people im supposed to work with, superiors and subordinates alike, but slowly im getting a hang of things.. already the camp feels like home, a place where i can be me.

Batman has the mask. I have the green.

Enough about army. Next thing on the list is raya.

Hmm.. not very good dis yr.. i havent got my clothes, havent done anything to the house, no kuih, no special goodies what so ever.. but im still excited about raya.. y? i have no freaking idea.. haha..

Its been awhile, but im still so uninspired to write anything. especially about ilyas. Soon lah, dey. a little dust never hurt anyone(unless ur allergic).

Green jacket

2007-09-04T15:34:00.000-07:00

Woahh.. this is wat iam, after taking a personality test.. pretty cool..

Mixed Messenger
Deliberate Brutal Love Dreamer (DBLD)
Just...take...the...fucking...flower...darling. The Mixed Messenger apologizes again.
You're looking for love, but you'll always maintain your independence. You're prepared for a real commitment, but it's also likely that you're ambitious, which creates a certain romantic tension and ambivalence within you. So although you can be very affectionate to someone, you are also capable of pulling some dubious shit.
In a relationship, you're usually the emotional leader. With your friends, you're a little bit more part of the pack. You're well-liked but you're not the uninhibited type, so the spotlight's often on someone else. In both social and romantic situations, however, you almost always get what you want. Influencing people is something you do very well.

2007-09-03T04:53:00.000-07:00

It was a beautiful night to die.

Ilyas was unafraid. If anything, he was ready to accept his fate. He was the epitome of calm, the air around him vibrating with his serenity. This was where it all ends. Answers were coming. Answers that was long overdue.

The two metal doors were opened wide, the light from within casting shadows of the huge wooden crates that were scattered in the cavernous depths of the warehouse. The chill night air rustled the leaves on the trees along the road, bringing the smell of rain. Ilyas noticed this and more. He saw the tell tale signs of recent vehicular activity in this abandoned building. He smelt the faint tang of kerosene in the air, and he felt his Jacket get coming alive with tingles.The enemy was near.

He entered the warehouse, and walked straight towards an unused load lifter that was rusting peacebly in its slumber.

its been a harrowing week

2007-08-29T07:19:00.000-07:00

The forest was silent.

Leaves crackled like thunder beneath his feet. Slowly, he made his way forward, the dagger held at ready, his eyes scanning from side to side. A sudden wind lifted a leaves of the ground, and made the trees moan as more red gold leaves fluttered to the ground.

It was spring in Maine. Hunting season.

Another step forward. On the horizon, he saw a small log cottage on an undulating knoll. The windows were dark, and the overcast sky made the cottage look forbiding. He had an ominous feeling in his stomach, a flutter that could not be erased. But still he strode forward. The vision the child had shown him was coming true.

This was were the Green Jacket dies.

The 21st

2007-08-19T15:21:00.000-07:00

Ive had many defeats. And so many victories. Ive worked hard, earned every step of the way with blood and sweat and congealed lactic acid in every fibre of every muscle in my body.

Ive reached the summit, ive seen the other side.
I breathe the cool breeze and feel the touch of snow on my bare, bleeding feet.
I look back, and see only a defeated slope.

I look forward, and see the serrated edges of the downward grade waiting for me.
in my hands i grasp a shining sword, and a bronze bayonet. They were new to me,
I didnt look for them, but when the chance came, i took them.

But i am alone. I look side to side, and i see only emptiness, the blue sky and the hard
ground beneath my feet.

I would throw everything in my hands, and start from the very beginning if
it meant i cud be with you. But i curl my grip tighter. I will not be that stupid again.

Happy birthday, Taufiq. Many happy returns.

2007-08-12T07:12:00.000-07:00

Shabina is SOOOOO SWEEEETT!!! Anyway, heres what she wrote about me in one of those fiddly emails ppls so often pass around these days..

I added some comments in BLUE
1. My firstname-surname-nickname: Sir Mohd Taufiq Bin Jailani
2. Where did we meet?:the place where u wanted to get into angeline's pants (What??!!)
3. What do you think about me?: I think ur not bad(as in not hot)
4. How long have you known me?: 7 years

7. What抯 my favourite colour?: Green(eew..u look like a raya hong pau in that green jacket)
8. When you first saw me what was your first impression? Using me to get into angelines pants (haha)
11. Color Hair?: black
12. Color eyes?: brown
13. Have you ever had a crush on me? u would reli like that (Yah yah. Just ignore the question.)
14. Have you ever been jealous of me? yes
15. Whats one of my fav things to do indoors?: Sleep, tv,computer games, wanking (Hey! this is in the wrong order..)
16. Do you remember the first things I said to you when we first met? can i get into angeline's pants?
17. What抯 my fav type of music?: pop, ballads, backstreet boys, nsync
18.What抯 one of my fav things to do outdoors?: drink coffee at esplanade at 7 am!
20.Would you say I抦 funny HAHA or funny (sarcastic)?: BOTH
21. Am I a rebel or do I follow the rules?: rebel
22. Would you consider me a friend?: YES!
23. Would you call me preppy, slutty, average, sporty, punk, hippie, glam, snobby, or something else?: funny..a little slutty :p (You would like that, wouldnt you?)
24. Have you ever seen me cry-when?:yeap. After u kissed me and i slapped u 6 times (what? no lah.. 7 times..)
26. If I had broccoli stuck on my teeth, would you tell me? YES. wouldnt wanna be seen wid u

27. Do you love me?: With all my heart. And unconditionally
28. Quiet or loud? loud
30. Smart or stupid? smart..can be stupid at times tho
31. Boring or Fun? fun
32. Attractive or Unattractive? attractive
33.A psycho? definitely
34.Athlethic?nope
35. A nerd?yep..wid the mat glasses
36. A slut? yup. u slept wid 2 chicks (Nope. i dun go for poultry sex)(and your just jealous.. blueeek...)
37. Ghetto? no idea whats that>
38. Two-faced?nope
39. Obnoxious?sometimes
40. Immature?dats thana
41. Mature?yeah..at times
42. What do you think I抣l be when I grow up? a soldier
43. A) Do you think I抣l get married? yeah
B) If you do匴ho do you think I抣l marry? me
44. Who is my best friend? a hot indian girl in aussie (If your hot, go turn up the air conditioning..)
45. What song(if any)reminds you of me? say a little prayer for u, best fren's wedding
46. Do I remind you of any characters on TV? yeap. marcel from frens (hey.. stop monkeying around.. )
47. If you could rename me, what would my name be? TAUFIQ USED TO HAVE CRUSH ON SURIA
48. Have you ever had a dream about me?yeah (hmmm.. )
49. A feature that you like about me: ur laugh and corny jokes
50. If you could give me anything, what would it be? a home made cheesecake
51. Am I physically ugly, average, decent, good-looking, beautiful, hot? not bad
52. Would you ever kiss me? u reli would love that ( of course. after kissing u twice, id expect you to return the favour.)
53. Would you ever consider being my boyfriend/girlfriend? yeah ( awww...)
54. If we spent a day together?.where would we go and what would we do? force me to go esplanade at 7 am and watch me sleep
55. If you could describe me in one word, what would it be? corny
57. Is there anything you抎 like to say to me? i miss u so much u corny loser!

:) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) My bestest best fren in the world(literally)

The dream

2007-08-02T15:03:00.000-07:00

You know that feeling, when you know its all a dream, yet you don't bother to stop yourself? You just continue with the 'movie', because you want it to be true.

She was beautiful. She had a boyfriend, a fat jerk who was older than both of us. We were out together, the three of us. I knew he was a jerk. He had those piggy eyes, and the first few words he gave me was that he was a military policemen, and that he was older than me, therefore better. I took it in, but i didnt let it get to me.

We went a few places in the dream, but the vision of those places are blurs in my minds eye. I remember we were sitting on granite benches, and he was standing in front of me. She was sitting next to me, and i was telling him really bad jokes, but i cant seem to concentrate. When he wasnt looking, she would blow softly into my ear, and whisper stuff i cant really hear. But i felt her love. Somehow.

We got on a bus. The three of us. The bus went its merry way, till it reached our stop. He was first off, i was next. Suddenly, he turned around and grabbed my collar. "Who do you think you are? Your're nobody! She will never be with you again!"

It was like the spitting thing all over again. But somehow, i had more guts this time. I grabbed his hand, did a quick twist and pushed him off me. He staggered, but there was a malicious glint in his eyes. He took out his card and a flashlight(no idea why) and he told me to put my hands up. "Im going to arrest you for physically abusing a military policeman."

I cocked my arm, and let fly. T ook him down like he was a cardboard target. Then, i leapt into the bus, found her waiting for me. In his pain, he roared at her. "Where are you going?"
For some reason she answered " The MRT!"

I was back aboard the bus, and the automatic door closed. Our hands met, and i was looking into her huge brown eyes, and i told her not to worry. "We'll get off at the next stop. He wont be expecting that. Get ready to run when i tell you too."

Then, i woke up.. and the most sweetest sensation, that i have ever only experienced in my dreams, was once again lost for another day. Sometimes, i wish i could just live in the land of dreams, as long as she's there, waiting for me.

Alas. It is but a dream.

2007-07-29T16:10:00.001-07:00

I love my parents.

But lately, after i told them about my break up, theyve been a little more supportive then they should be...

1) when i was about to go for Ex starlight, my dad told me this at the airport, " Don't worry, youll find another one when you get home. there are plenty out there. If you happen to meet a pretty, muslim taiwanese girl, maybe you could bring her home.."

2)I told my mum i was having lunch with shabina, who was leaving for Australia, and she gave a loud gasp. " Shabina?" she said, all this in malay but i have translated it for you," but what happened to the other one?"

I gave a non-commital shrug but the look on her face was too comical, i couldnt stop a smile from escaping.

" So did she kick you out or did you kick her out?" she said, with a smile.

"She."

"So shes found someone else?" asked my mum, her eyes twinkling." You want me to return the cloth she gave me?"

Good old mum.

3) I was sitting down in johor with my parents, having lunch, when my dad broke the silence by clearing his throat. " You know that friend of yours who came over to our house for Hari Raya? The one whose mum is your mums second cousin?"

I was eating, but i was wary just the same. "Yeah?"

"Your mum and I feel that we wouldnt mind being closer to their family. Why don't you go make friends with her?"

I nearly choked on my rice. She wasnt actually a saint. In fact shes been with my coursemates back in NP. I felt slightly nauseated thinking of a friends leftovers.

My dad thought i had scoffed at her looks. "But even your Auntie thinks shes good looking. She's as keen as well if khamal were interested."

Poor khamal..

Im not sure why all this is happening now, especially since im only 21 for godsakes.. still got ages to go before anything..

There is this girl tho, who is my ideal girl, the girl of my dreams, but i doubt it will ever happen.

There is another girl who is far away, who i have promised to make mine if we were both single when we became 28.

There is also my teenage sweetheart to consider.

As well as other ppl, other girls out there.

But all in all, im not choosy. Any one of this, any girl who fits the bill, is the one that i want.

But the time i have is not mine. Maybe someday, ill be free to go look for her. Till then, im right here beb. The balls in your court. Itll be awhile before the ball is served by me again..

nothing better to do

2007-07-24T17:44:00.000-07:00

Its been awhile since i had a retrospective analysis on my life so far, the last quarter of this decade. Many things have happened, and not many have been very good, particularly after i was enlisted. Hmm.. here are some of the highlights of my life for the last coupla years. They are not placed in order, of course.

1) Sadly, i confessed my feelings to a very close friend of mine, and things took a turn for the worse when she decided things were to weird to continue being friends.

2) Teaching in my old alma mater was a superb experience that made me see the other side of the mirror. Although looking back, i think i was a little to immature to be teaching kids barely 5 years my junior. Maybe when i return to sembawang, ill do a better job.

3)Dating a friend's girl behind his back. Got caught, got spat on, lost the girl. Not a very happy ending, all things considered.

4) Fell in love with a beautiful angel who was perfect, except for dumb old me who, when in love, tends to become unforgivably protective ( and possesive). Amazing what a few months in OCS has taught me about material possesion. IF only.

5) Dated a girl on and off for two years. Treated her like crap for the first year or so, always breaking up with her in the end. But the moment i decided to give the relationship the due attention in required, i gets dumped, and before you can say "go Lemmings" shes with someone else. Hmm.. Serves me right i suppose.

6) Got into OCS. It was no easy work to get here, and no easy work to leave here either. The hours are crazy, the days are tiring, the nights are fitful. But the end is near. ;)

7) Lost my other close friend, this time to studies. Shes going to Australia in stages, returning 4 or 5 months for the holidays. I miss her already. She's my longest girl-friend i have(almost 7 years!) and i have this feeling were fated to fulfill the promise we made when we were 14. :)

8) Did "Tainted Flower" as well as directed the lukewarm "sketches: A story of hope" for and with Yellow Chair Productions. Proudest moment ever when i started cutting my hair in Tainted and got screams of horror from the crowd. Preeetttyyy cool.

9) Made great friends from yellow chair, Shai, Yaz, Shahdon, to name a few.. met the gruesome twosome there as well, and ended getting spat on. Genius.

10) Did Ides of March! slow, boring, with a rousing finish, ides was my first step into proper acting. Cool huh?

11) Acted in R21 as well as Takdir, a final year project for a friend of mine. Oh well. tv acting hasnt been my cup of tea just yet. :)

Thats all folks. a pretty candid affair, i think. Any input, feel free to drop me a line. cheers..

2007-07-23T17:35:00.000-07:00

The whole world is pointing at me and laughing.

Fuck it.

Lets just carry on, shall we?

2007-07-21T13:42:00.000-07:00

Hello Everyone,

Yellow Chair Productions and Tampines Central CC YEC present 'The Chronicles of Maria,' a play that has been fully conceptualised and developed solely by youths who love theatre, with little professional help.

Maria, arrives in Singapore to study medicine at a university and later takes up a part-time job as a domestic helper, inspired by her best friend, Susie. Faced with having to balance school and work, Maria has to endure the circumstances of working for a rigid employer and finding time to fall in love with a fellow foreigner, Azlan.

Meanwhile, a mysterious hooded figure keeps appearing, warning Maria of her fate. Puzzled by the hooded figure's words, Maria accidentally stumbles upon a portal which transports her to the kingdom of Airam. There, she discovers that she is the Chosen One who is destined to stop the ruthless Queen Zahira from her rule.

Since 2005, Yellow Chair Productions has been encouraging and providing youths between the ages of 17-21 with a platform to showcase their talents and works. Following tradition, Yellow Chair Productions has increased the age group from 13-25 for 'The Chronicles of Maria'. Yellow Chair Productions has also been developing shows for the community and hope to work with schools. The team also intends to rope in more youths to be a part of a vibrant and passionate family of youths who love doing what they do.

The Chronicles of Maria

24th August 2007 (Friday) - 7:30pm

25th August 2007 (Saturday) - 2pm, 7:30pm

Tickets: $20, $25

Tickets are available through www.Gatecrash.com.sg or call Gatecrash hotline 6222 5595.

Tickets are also available at all Singpost Branchs & S.A.M. Kiosks.

For enquiries regarding The Chronicles of Maria or Yellow Chair Productions, please contact Shaiful at 96464115 or Zul at 81684847.

Warmest Regards,

Mohamad Shaifulbahri

Artistic Director

Yellow Chair Productions

Order of the phoenix: one roti prata with tea halia

2007-06-26T19:58:00.000-07:00

Wow.. now dis is cool.. i cant wait for the order of the phoenix to actually appear on screen! the book was pretty good, but ive seen the trailer and it completely blew my mind away!

And as usual, Emma Watson completely stole my heart. I mean seriously! When i first saw her, i had a crush on her, even tho she was just 13( i was 15 i think), and now, she has matured to become a beautiful young women( so im not really a paedo).. im sure many of yous out there would agree... right??

But i dont think i have to go all the way to England to actually meet the woman of my dreams..

I mean, itll be

EXPENSIVE

and ill prolly never get to see her.. She'll prolly be taller than me( not that im short lah..) and most likely have a higher sex drive(not that i mind lah..) if she was english..

hmm..

Nah.. Singaporean girls are way, way, better..

2007-06-25T15:56:00.000-07:00

My passion.

My love.

My company.

Ella, Iggy, Halimah, Zul, Dhaniah, Taufiq, Nurul, Shai, Sarah, Melvin, Sue, Isk, Syima, Shahdon, Naddz, Faizal, Nadirah, Yihan, Mastura and Yazid Jalil..

Happy birthday Ycp.. our lives have been entwined by that twist of fate..

Far far away

2007-06-22T15:04:00.000-07:00

Far, Far away, in the south China Sea-ah.

I left, a girl, with tears in here eyes.

I could still see the pain in her eyes as she silently helped me put on my uniform. She never once looked at my face; it seemed that her gaze was permanently locked onto my chest. I knew then that my strong, strong wife was doing something i never thought she'd do.

She started to weep, but no sound came from her lips. She took a step back and covered her mouth in an attempt to stop any sound from escaping. She watched as i put on my combat harness, checked my field pack for its readiness, and adjusted the straps of my helmet.

It was time to say goodbye.

We stood apart for a moment, both wishing so intensely that it was all a dream and that nothing was real, except for our love. It was a fool's hope. Finally, she looked into my eyes, and i saw the tear tracks down her perfect cheeks. Her will was strong. The tears that were there before had been banished completely. Only a love and a fierce hope for my return burned brightly through her gaze.

She came closer, and tapped the word on my left hand chest pocket. Singapore.

"Make us proud." She kissed me, infusing all her desire, all her sorrow, all her anger into one sweet embrace, that i felt was too swift for me.

"And come back to me, husband. I love you."

I must go where the brave men die-ah.

A soldier has to fight the fight because he loves his land-yah!

A soldier has to fight the fight, he has, to DIE!

The march was intense. It had been many months since i had walked very long distances, and tonight, the night of all nights, i was seriously in need of a rest. But i glanced at my men. They walked on, silent in the darkness, and i felt buoyed by their determintaion. These men would fight and die for their country. They would do the same for me.

The forward platoon swerved into the undergrowth, and i signalled for mty point section to follow. The first few kilometers had been covered on dirt tracks, but the rest would have to be done through thick vegetation that, hopefully, has been cleared by the recon team. it was much darker here, but it suited our purpose; the enemy would feel the power of our attack before they understood that their deaths had arrived slightly earlier than expected.

In the inky blackness of the humid night, with sweat pouring like a brimming fountain, i grinned as i fingered my rifle stock.

it was hours before a halt was called. With hand signals, the company HQ had passed down a message. " O-group". Orders group. I nodded, passed down the message, and got up to move forward.

Platoon Commander 1 was already there, his runner a shadow behind him. i had forgotten about my runner. I stopped to go back, but a shadow bumped into me from behind, and there was a quiet whisper of apology. My runner had came after all.

I patted him on the sholder, and carried on to kneel in the circle of the orders group. The OC was tapping slowly on his weapon, checking his watch from time to time. He seemed calm, accept for his tapping, although i surmised that it was not despair or anticipation that made him do so, rather a need to get things done fast. He was extremely particular on punctuality.

The 3rd platoon commander finally arrived, his runner in tow, and the OC fixed him with a glare that was like flares in the night. The 3rd PC began to offer an explanation but the captain quickly silenced him with a gesture.

"No time for that. Gentlemen, you know what to do. So go do it. 2Lt Taufiq, you will takeyour platoon and capture this objective. stay behind as the company goes past. Remember, 0600 is the h-hour." he nodded at me, and continued on with the briefing. I wasnt listening. i felt numb. But slowly, movement came to my limbs. i felt myself wake up, my sensors overloading as adrenalin filled my veins to the brim.

"Alright. Taufiq, your move. The rest of us, lets go."

'Cos we are the ones who hold the front.

Cos we are the ones who holds the guns.

We are mighty warriors of our land-yah!

(note: This is a song in the army that i can identify with. Unfortunately, i cant continue the story becos its starting to sound like an adventure show, so ill stop. the main part is the beginning actually. hmm..)

the past

2007-06-18T18:31:00.000-07:00

im blogging twice, becos this is quite a separate topic. ive been wondering about the past actually.

I had this friend once, whom im not to close to anymore due to personal reasons, and i read what the person wrote on her blog way back when we were close. Its pretty sad that i saw things from my own eyes, and never bothered to see how she felt. The things she described me of doing, in retrospect, was so immature it makes the present me cringe in pain.

I could have rescued that friendship had i been less dramatic.

But then, we learn from our mistakes, eh? We learn what to do, and what to say, and to empathise with the other party, to think thru someone mind. We learn that small things mean a lot, and big things should be done in moderation so as to keep it BIG( verstendehen?) We also learn that chances should be grabbed with both hands and that the future is up to us to decide, to choose of the myriad of possibilities.

The only regret i have is that i should have matured sooner.

Pondering

2007-06-18T18:22:00.000-07:00

You know, things are starting to look bleak in the future.

(personally i mean)

Am about to commision in less than 3 months. Swamped with work now, got comms ball to plan, two events for the cadets mess(nope, its a posh place to eat for cadets. im on the council too.) somewhere between now and taiwan. Broke. Thrashed tragically by an established gamer and a big upstart who has been riding on the waves of the more experienced(ill get you shai, i promise.) Have top get ippt GOLD before taiwan.. impossible, seeing i cant jump for nuts..

hmm..

on the other hand,

1)YCP is heading in a wonderful direction and im glad to be onboard to help influence its course.

2) Im getting a gaming pc when i commision and sign on.( its going to be top notch siah.)

3) People in Hotel actually laugh at my jokes( please ignore the actually).

4)Got Shai hooked on Company of Heroes

5) Commisioning ball production is an exciting prospect!

looks like the future is going to be.. exciting.. haha

The End

2007-06-05T03:52:00.000-07:00

ever get the feeling youve reached the end of the road?

I didnt think it would be this painful.

more ilyas

2007-05-03T03:40:00.000-07:00

The lights to the store were dim in the stillness of the cool night. Through the dirty window pane of his beat up honda, Alistair observed the old indian man. He was slowly putting the days taking into an old velvet bag, his mouth moving in an unheard song as he counted the notes into the bag.

Alistair reached into his sweater and felt the cool steel of his revolver. He had run through the plan in his head at least 12 times as he drove to this semi deserted spot. A dilapidated neighbourhood that had once been full of promise, it was now filled with empty mansions and half finished projects that had been abandoned and claimed by the squatters. The police, Alistair knew, were too busy with under table dealings and internal affairs to bother chasing them away. Maybe ten years ago, such a thing might never have happened. Then, Maine had been properous, a growing hub for international business and was steadily becoming the utopia that its founder had envisioned centuries past.

But things had broken down.No one knew why. Slowly, over 5 years, everything loss value. Investors started looking elsewhere, projects were stopped and the world forgot about the little island of Maine in favour of its bigger neighbours. She had become a promise that was never fulfilled. An island which had disappeared from memory.

Crime lords ruled the streets. Money was the key to everything, from expensive Prada handbags to the policemen patrolling the streets. People were immune to the pain of others because they were too engrossed in their own pain to care.

Well almost. Alistair disliked the new man at the head of the country. He had promised the jaded nation that he would cleanse the City state, bring justice and the luster that had defined Maine once upon a time. That meant Alistair would be out of his Job. He checked that the weapon was loaded and put to safe, and braced for action.

The car door swung open and Alistair cursed silently as he put his sneakers into a puddle. He shook his foot furiously to get rid of the water, straightened up, and touched the pistol grip that was had against the small of his back. He took a calming breath, and pulled up his hoodie, partially covering his face with the black material and gently closed the door behind him.

Striding forward slowly, he gained speed as he entered the dim light of the shop. The old man didnt look up.

"We're closed."

With a soft shick, the pistol was out and pointed directly at the old man's right eye.

"I want all your money. Now," growled Alistair as he jerked the gun in the direction of the bag. The old man dropped the bag in his terror, his hands flying up. Alistair could feel the power he had over this small man. He grinned, savouring the joy it gave him.

"Please! I only have a small shop! I have grandchildren to feed, please!" pleaded the old man, his hands shaking as his face was twisted as he begged. "Please, Sir! Please!"

The feeling of power inside him, Alistair felt he could do no wrong. He stepped forward a step, and brought his weapon butt hard agains the old mans cheek. He crumpled to the floor, whimpering. Alistair put the weapon on fire, and once more drew a bead on the man's head.

"The money. Now!"

The old man started to cry pathetically, slowly made a move for his bag which lay a foot away. Suddenly, he stopped, his red, glistening eyes widened as he spotted something behind Alistair.

"Is that thing even loaded?"

Alistair swung around. He found himself looking down at a boy in green, who was studying the cigarette display with interest as his fingers traced down the glass pane looking for the brand that he wanted. Alistair grinned. This one is as good as dead.

"Yeah. Why don't I try one on you?"

The boy continued to smile. A small ahh escaped his lips as he chose a pack of red, opened the glass door and helped himself to a box. Knocking the box on the heel of his palm, he made his way around Alistair and handed the trembling old man a tenner. Alistair looked on in disbelief, his weapon at the boys head. This kid sure had balls. Alistair felt that he had to shoot at least one of them off.

"Oi, im talking to you wiseguy. You better bugger off, or im about to make you holy. Really holy." Alistair chuckled at his wit. But the boy merely smiled. Now he began to light the cigarette, with a lighter on the store counter, and drew in a breath before blowing it out slowly.

Alistair was about to speak when he was interupted by the boy.

" Nice night for a robbery, huh? Pity you came alone. I would have loved to get some practice tonight." said the boy, puffing slowly. For the first time, he looked hard into Alistair's eyes. Alistair gasped. The boy's eyes were a blazing green, hard and steely. Eyes of a warrior. He could have sworn they were brown just minutes before.

"So before i do anything you would regret, i suggest you take your weapon elsewhere."

Alistair frowned. He was the one holding the gun. What was the boy playing at? Never in his whole career had such a thing happened to one of his planned operations. He had always been succesful. Hadn't he already killed 23 men? Men who had tried to stop him because they thought they could take him. They thought they were stronger than him, faster than him. But he was always better. He had always gotten his man. And now, this boy, barely out of his teen, was challenging him.

He had had enough. With a sudden twist, his pistol went flying across the boys face, and he kicked forward simultaneously, wanting to force the boy to the floor where he would be at Alistair's mercy.

His hand stopped an inch from the boys face, but the boy didn't anticpate the kick. He flew backwards, and landed in the dust with a thud. Alistair was impressed. The boy was fast. But evidentally, not fast enough.

"Cocky little kid. Your quite fast for someone your age." he said, sneering as the boy slowly got up." Now lets see you dodge a bullet." He squeezed the trigger.

The bullet slammed into the boy and he flew 5 feet out of the shop and onto the dirty road. There, he lay still.

Alistair looked on in silence. Unable to bear it any longer, the power inside him making him laugh, he exclaimed "HOLY SHIT!" and started to guffaw. He turned to the old man, who had now grasped the satin bag to his chest and lay wideeyed and still where he had left him.

"Geddit? Holey shit?!" Still laughing as tears of happiness rolled down his face, Alistair moved towards the cowering old man, gave him an almighty kick, and picked up the satin bag. The old man was howling in pain, and alistair gave him another one, just in case.

"Shut up will you? Your lucky you don't join your friend out there. So just shut the hell up." Alistair started to pocket his gun, but with the adrenelin running, he fumbled and nearly dropped the weapon. The satin bag though, fell from his hand. Cursing, he bent over to get it, when he saw something green behind him.

He barely had time to straighten up when a blurred fist crashed into the small of his back. As he collapsed and darkness claimed him, he thought he heard the boy tutting.

"Thats not funny at all, man."

****

"Thank you, Ilyas. I thought my time was over." The old man had offered a cup of tea to Ilyas, but Ilyas had declined as he tied up the thug before calling the police. He had been on the way home from school when he heard the commotion. He silently thanked the Almighty for giving him extra classes that day.

"Its alright, Mr. Samy. It was no problem." He checked the bonds on the criminals face and made a face as it checked out. "In a few minutes, the police will be here. They'll take care of it."

Mr Samy sighed. " The police arent any different you know. Just last week that patrolman came and asked me for protection money." He nodded at the trussed up thug." So much for that protection."

Ilyas frowned." You paid him?"

"Of course, i had no choice," said Mr Samy as he spread his hand and shrugged. " He'll ask for more when he gets here."

Ilyas felt sorry for Mr Samy. All around Maine, small businesses were suffering the same thing, and there was no way he could help them all. The few police men who were straight were outnumbered and too afraid to do anything about it.

"He wont come here, " promised Ilyas. " I asked a friend to come instead, and you can trust her. She's one of the last straight cops around."

Mr Samy smiled at Ilyas, and he felt his heart lighten considerably. "Thank you again. You have always been kind. Except ," Mr Samy frowned, " I saw the man shoot you. My eyes arent what they used to be, but im sure im not mistaken."

Ilyas was saved from lying. The man in the chair started to groan and come awake, but Ilyas was faster. He administered another blow to the head, and the man continued to snore.

"I have to go, Mr Samy. You take care." He turned away, thankful that his secret was still a secret.

"You take care too," he heard Mr Samy say. "Your father would be proud."

Ilyas paused at the mention of his father. He knew Mr Samy had been close friends with his father, but he had deceived himself that the old man wouldnt mention his father at all. He felt unshed tears at the edges of his vision, and blinked them away. He turned and gave Mr Samy a quick smile, and continued onwards.

As he walked, he looked up at the stars, and wondered whether his father was looking at him now. he pictured his father looking down, smiling and nodding at his deed, proud of what his son had become.

Tears broke though his barrier, and Ilyas started to pray for his father's soul.

Here we goooooooooooooo, hey!

2007-04-26T16:26:00.000-07:00

They say its going to be bad over there. And I agree. Its going to be sweltering, raining, cold, hungry and all that shit.. but its all fun i suppose.. haha

Congrats to Nadz and Yaz. I mean, to be the critics choice and audiences choice.. wow man, you guys rock(like batu).. and Yaz i think your going police.. you look good in that blue uniform.. i dun think green suits u.. wahahah

Shai, great job, i think its a no brainer ur in there somewhere. Please dont forget the script for my commisioning ball.. make it something good, cos u are my plan A and Plan B.. haha..

I miss you guys! training has been tough, but this weekend will hail an unprecedented 3 day off(sunday, monday, tuesday night book-in).. so lets meet up if i havent met up with u for sometime, and shoot the shit a little bit..

Motivational LInes:

Sam:
Those were the stories that stayed with you. That meant something. Even if you were too small to understand why. But I think, Mr. Frodo, I do understand. I know now. Folk in those stories had lots of chances of turning back only they didn’t. They kept going. Because they were holding on to something.

Frodo:
What are we holding on to, Sam?

Sam:
[He helps Frodo up and says:]
That there’s some good in this world, Mr. Frodo. And it’s worth fighting for.

Confirming ground

2007-03-13T19:30:00.000-07:00

In case your wondering, the title for this entry is an action one takes when he is navigating and needs to look around to find out wheere he is exactly on the map. So here i am, confirming ground on my life so far.

I keep track with the blogs of my drama pals( yaz, sha, and shai) and i feel how far im walking away from my previous life. here its all striving, fighting sleep, fighting exhaustion, fighting lazyness and boredom. Time seems lost as one digs a shellscrape, run 2.4 km within 10 mins, march 16 km with blistered feet and sprained ankle. I remember those times i would while away the hours with loved ones(ie: PS2.. haha.. jk, dear) while the day remained sultry and the cool breeze made you sigh.

I remember eating anything i wanted, smoking anytime i felt like, having the choice to run or sleep and play lan when i felt like thrashing Yazid(riiittteee...). I miss those days.

I read Yazids blog, and as much as i dun really noe abang azroy, i envy him the time he has to go have lunch with him. I see the auditions, and i feel the pang of being there only 5 hours out of the total 18. I mean, i should have contributed much more, but the only thing i contributed was my presence. Was it enough?

I have 3 more years of this. Is that really wat i want? To be in green, to kill and be killed for that one bar, and for the 27 men behind me. For the red and white and the moon and stars. For my family. For all the families.

All these require sacrifices. All this takes time, patience and practice.

I love you all out there. Ill come out a better man, inshallah.

Its time to fall in again. See you soon.

A story when im bored

2007-02-08T04:19:00.000-08:00

"So tell me something about yourself. Something i dont know."

Ilyas looked thoughtful for a moment. In his arms, Lois was warm and pliant, and Ilyas felt relaxed. For the first time in a long time, he actually forgot about his fathers death. He screwed up his face for a moment.

"It shouldnt be that difficult. weve only been together a week."

Ilyas laughed. He caressed her cheek and kissed her head as she smiled up at him. In the background, Micheal Buble crooned "Moondance", and at that moment, Ilyas felt the happiest he had ever felt in his life. He felt light headed, and he couldnt stop smiling since the day he had asked her to be his.

"Well, i like to sleep with the same socks everyday."

She giggled. It was the tinkling sound of water in a clear crystal bowl. She shifted her head onto his lap, and twirled a strand of hair that had fallen across her face.

"Well, i definitely didnt know that," she giggled again, and sighed. " i thought you could tell me something more.. urrmm.. major?"

"Like what?"

She shrugged. "I dont know. If i knew i wouldnt be asking right?" She smiled.

Ilyas shifted uncomfortably. He didnt think it was time to tell her of the jacket. Of his father. Of Sade. He looked away, out the window. The last month had been hard. His father's passing, the kidnapping to a secret labyrinth,the reading of the prophecy that he felt had nothing to do with him, and his encounters with Sade's minions had messed up the calm, stable life he had.

"Baby?"

Ilyas broke away from his thoughts and his eyes focused her. She was looking at him with a worried frown on her face. Gently, he eased her off and stood up, grabbing his jacket which had resumed the shape of a battered green sweat jacket.

"I have to go. Your parents will be back soon," he said, putting on the weightless jacket, feeling the now-familiar tingle as he put it on. He made for the open window.

"Did i say something wrong?" she asked slowly, a tiny frown on her delicate face.

Ilyas paused. He opened his mouth as if to say something, but closed it. He couldnt tell her. At least not yet.

He reached out for her and kissed her. He gazed into her eyes as if to drink from the limpid pools of her eyes, to fill him up for what was to come.

"Ask me again sometime, okay?"

He climbed out the window and descended with the help of the trellis. It was time for the hunt. Tonight, he would head to the wharves, where he had encountered Borei.

Because where Borei was, Sade would be.

* * *

Lois watched as Ilyas sprinted of, his green jacket a dark streak in a moonless night. She turned off the music, and felt the door open behind her. A large shadow blocked the light from the corridor and a sibilant sigh escaped Borei's lips as he came to stand beside Lois.

"Are you sure he's the warrior clad in green? He seems so.. useless."

Borei laughed, a grunting noise from deep in his throat.

"Keep at it, my pet. He is besotted with you. Soon he will tell you everything." He drew a clawed finger on her cheek, the exact same spot Ilyas had lovingly caressed not a moment ago. Lois, closed her eyes like a kitten and shuddered with ecstasy.

"Soon we will know if he is as the prophecy says. If he is, then he will lead us to Sade."

Borei pricked Lois perfect skin with his claw, and watched as she sighed at the pain.Blood welled at the cut. He drew back his hand and clenched his fist.

"And then, we kill them BOTH."

In the Officer Core

2007-01-23T21:40:00.000-08:00

Its been soome time since i last blogged, but a lot of stuff has been happening, this 2 months past, and ive been neck deep in things todo. firstly, ive been assigned to OCS! in around 9 months( 8 months and counting) i shall receive one pip and be addressed as 2nd Leftenant Taufiq! woo hoo!

But the road, the journey to said destination is crazy. Hectic schedule, falling asleep exhausted each night, punishments that take up precious weekends, etc.. But i suppose at the end itll all be worth it. I hope.

The only thing thats keeping me sane is the thought of my parents, my ps2 waiting and last but definitely not least, is you-know-who-you-are.. tho there are times u make me wish id have been given confinement.. haha.. just wanted to tell u im still here.. and that ill be here for u thru anything, alrite?

Im like listening to EnD OF THE ROAD by Boyz 2 men.. its pretty sappy, but its not that bad.. somehow its in my mp3 haha..

Alritght, shall blog again soon.. gotta go for lectures now(yeap, its a school, rmbr?)

OCT Taufiq Jailani

The Green Jacket ResumesThe March

2006-12-09T19:58:00.000-08:00

Hey hey hey, dear friends, countrymen, readers and assorted thoroughfares, i have returned. Thats right, ive gone to the land where bravemen ermm train? and im back for some action(at least till the 18 th). So how has everybody been? heres an update on my side:

1) Ive lost 7 kgs.
2) im much darker. People mistake me for a sinhalese these days.
3)I still love green(haha)
4) Im slightly fit(i used to pant after a 5 min jog. Now i can just about manage 6.)
5)Im praying for entrance to OCS, and i might be signing onfor the next 3 years.
6) my english has degenetrated into guttural moans and wdf's, always culminating with the phrase "Eh, you knock it down!"
7)I have mastered the art of using the f-word as a noun, adjective, verbas well as adverb.
8)I have madelove to my rifle(with my rfle.. haha)
9)I missmy drama people, yellow Chair members who seem to be doing well without my presence.(funny thing..)
10) Im not as funnyas i used to be(right? right???)
11) I realise that when your very shagged, you tend to laugh at anything( tho seeing my friend falling through the jacobs ladder, twirling in mid air and grabbing the step before letting go and crashing to the ground was pretty funny.)
12) I wanna continue writing.

After such a long hiatus, im going to sharpen up my pencils and start on a fresh story, or chapter. As You all know, i don't reallylike to write in chronological order, so im just going to write the first thing that pops up in my head.

Don't hold your breath yet... :)

ps: 13) I love Naddz veri mucho!!

PICTURES from my last day in Sembawang..

2006-10-02T08:26:00.000-07:00

Sembawang students, awaiting eagerly for the pictures, heres the link.. Knock yourself out, download all you want, and enjoy.. :)

Click HERE to get the pictures!

Lessons

2006-09-28T09:10:00.000-07:00

"Ilyas!"

Ilyas's head shot up, eyes bleary and blood shot. He blinked thrice, his hazel eyes slowly focusing on Mr. Lee who was frowning, his hand grasping a red marker pen. Ilyas slowly noticed the glances his classmates where throwing him. Hastily, he wiped his lips, which, to his chagrin, were wet with drool.

Mr. Lee shifted onto his right foot, arms akimbo, and fixed Ilyas with a cool stare. In the haze that was gradually lifting, Ilyas realised a reply was expected.

"Err.. hmm?"

Mr. Lee was not amused.

"Stand," he growled, eyes cold as salted ice. Ilyas got to his feet, his chair scraping noisily against the parquet floor. He seemed to regain his senses faster now the entire class was staring at him. He felt like the woman with a beard,the man with three legs. He envisioned a cage around him and a big red neon sign that read " The first boy to cross The Most Scary Teacher in the school" while his classmates threw peanut shells at him and called him the Green Jackass.

"Do I bore you, Mr Ilyas? Should I juggle balls for you? Pierce myself with large needles and call myself "Spike" Lee?" The dimunative teacher was gathering momentum with his sarcasm, but Ilyas knew better than to answer. He remembered how Mr Lee had dealt with one such student a couple of years back who was foolish enough to say something lame. The police still had trouble looking for enough body parts to identify the body.

At least that was what Mark said. Ilyas remembered the other thing Mark was so convinced about: that the singer Aliyah was still alive and had engineered her own death to run away from bad debts and a forced marriage to Micheal Jackson.

As you can see, Ilyas still has not completely cleared his head. He begin to imagine Micheal Jackson moon walking around a tree and serenading the ghost of Aliyah with Hee-hee's and Ow's. His attention was harshly snapped back into focus as a a red marker pen came flying at him, thrown by an angry Mr Lee who was fuming at the non-chalance Ilyas was displaying.

It never touched him.

With a speed that defied the eye, Ilyas' right hand moved with blinding speed, intercepting the pen as it flew towards him. The loose pen cap, stopped abruptly in mid-flight, came off and fell towards the ground. It clattered loudly in the silence that followed, as all eyes turned from the surprised boy to the furious teacher.

Cold, blue eyes contrasted with the burning red face as a trace of insanity flared to life, before dying suddenly. Mr Lee seemed to want to start screaming, but amazingly he got a hold of himself, and breathed normally again, face not as red as before but the vein in his temple throbbed obscenely.

"Give. Me. Back. My. Pen." He held out a shaking hand as he spat out the words. Ilyas had timidly dropped his hands behind his back, but at the command slowly shuffled forward. The drama was back on. Ilyas somehow felt that what Mark said had a grain of truth after all. He felt as if his death was imminent.

Mr Lee gazed into his eyes, and Ilyas fidgeted, breaking eye-contact almost immediately. He braced himself for the beating that would ensue.

"Detention," Mr Lee growled, before grabbing the pen and truning his back on a silent Ilyas.

Sketches: a true success!

2006-09-18T04:14:00.000-07:00

Thanks one and all.

Thanks so very much for Nurul for the wonderful script.
Without which i would have been editing air.

Without the crew, i would have been struggling with the scene changes, with the costumes, with the timing and with the precise running of the show.

Stand up to applause, Nadiah, Nurul, Faizal and the chief, Zul.

Most of the crew took time to learn their lines and came in with steady performances in support of the main cast. Thank you again.

The guy with the need to be a queen, and a desire to perform as a big purple dinosaur. You have been a wonderful foil for my comedic stupidity, and your comebacks are getting better and sharper. :)

Stand up to applause, Yihan.

Without an excellent cast, i would have floundered through many a rehearsals. Your hardwork, dedication as well as your willingness to work long hours over a short period of time have reaped wonderful benefits.

Stand up to applause, Shahdon, Nadirah, Dhaniah and Yazid.

For the man who inspires, encourages, harangues, scolds, loves, sings and smiles... You have been my inspiration to do well, and my motivation to try to achieve what you have. In many ways, you are Sir Alex Ferguson to my Roy Keane, Obi wan to my Anakin, and Gandalf to my Aragorn. Thank you very much.

Stand up to raucous yet slightly amused applause, Shai.

Sketches is over, but Yellow Chair will carry on. We are still climbing the steps that began with Tainted Flower, followed by Bella, and now Sketches, and we will continue to climb ever higher but with our feet stuck firmly to the ground. Thank you all, and may we march hand in hand, till the very end.

Taufiq

Sketches: A Story of Hope

2006-09-07T11:59:00.000-07:00

In support of the Yellow Ribbon project, Yellow Chair Productions Presents,a Black Box Concepted Production:

ATTENTION!!! TICKETS ARE SELLING FAST!! DO BOOK YOUR TICKETS NOW!!

Date : 16th September( 2pm, 5 pm and 8pm)
17th September(2pm and 5pm)

Venue: Tampines Central CC, Room 3 F on the 3rd Floor.

Cost: $4

Whats it about?

See the world through the eyes of Danial, an ex-convict who faces professional failure, a total marriage breakdown and an ailing Grandmother as he fights to regain his lost dignity and love. Feel his pain and loneliness as life throws him a bad turn, and rejoice with him as he finds a path to final redemption.

Is a man judged but what he has done? Or is he judged by what he can do? Can Danial finally lay his past to rest, and build a better future?

Come on guys, its my directorial Debut! Contact Mr Yazid for booking Details as soon as possible.

91274745 (Yazid Jalil)

See you there!!!!

Something New

2006-09-04T20:54:00.000-07:00

EXAMS ARE COMING!

I found that Miss Pei is gone! oohh.. damn.. Angie, if your reading this block, on behalf of sembawang scondary, we are going to miss u loads! juast wanna say you never fail to make me smile with your innate goofiness and really really lame comebacks. Good luck with your future endaevours, and mayhap we'll meet again in future.

No no.. im not THAT short.. just crouching a little..

Here are more pics from the teachers day dinner, before i forget..

Mrs Azwizah discovers that the rock melon is really HARD.

"Wait, the spoon is the one with the tines right?"

Seriously, Angie, im not THAT boring..

This is what happens when you forget to take pictures in the hotel itself. This picture was taken under Inda's block after the 'wild' party. The Three Stooges!!!

Inda and Siti

Now that night was really fun, considering that it was my first teaching event, and first adult party ive been to.. makes me feel 10 years older being around refined and tasteful chaps like Mr Sim and Mr Raja.. I suppose teachers are like that some how.. they have this strict guidelines of how to become a good teacher and they follow those guidelines to set a good example everyday that theybecome it. Thats why they are soooo nice , these teachers.

Another thing i realised is how there is very little backstabbing going around in the staff room. Its not like an office.. the teachers are not like office workers climbing the ladder of ambition. They have no enemies within, because in the staff room, its like a bastion or a castle where the teachers rally after battling the students all day long. They regroup, re-arm and refresh themselves with chocolates and stuff, but most importantly, they talk to each other about the kids. They gossip . They laugh at the kids. express anger and tears, show how touched they are when a student does something unexpected. There are only 2 sides in this war. Students agains the Teachers. There is no place for backstabbing politics here. Thats why teaching is so cool..

Anyway, im pretty tired now, and my language is slipping into the red zone.. so ill go.. laterz den..

Update..

2006-08-09T11:48:00.000-07:00

Heres a very overdue green jacket story that has been bugging me for sometime. Unfortunetly, its not in chronological order, but its basically ilyas meeting up with his beloved green jacket for the first time. It was written for those of u who have been hounding me to updat my blog, and also cause i wanted to put down this major part of the legend. Hope you like it.

Ps: I drew inspiration from the lesson i thought my students about suspense and ghost stories, so i hope you can feel ilya's fear the way i meant it to be like. Do comment.

The Wearing of the green jacket

2006-08-09T10:13:00.000-07:00

The short dusty walk up to the attic was beginning to be pretty scary. The stairs creaked under his feet, rickety steps of an old house. He breathed slowly, fear deep in his belly as he gripped the spanner tight in white knuckled fists.
Ilyas stopped. He heard it again. That singing. It was faint, but unmistakable, a soft but familiar voice, wafting from the attic.
There was someone in there.
" Hello ? Is someone there?"
Ilyas gulped the big ball that was suddenly in his throat, and he uttered a prayer. A deep breath, and he pushed the door to the attic open, ready to swing away.
The song stopped.
Ilyas faced a darkened room, musky with dust. A small window let in the light of the moon, shining down on a wooden chest. The wooden chest was beautiful, Ilyas noted silently. His eyes wandered silently through the inlaid carvings, and momentarily, he gaped at how beautiful it was. The spanner in his hand grew heavy and his grip slackened but he didn’t drop it. His fear fell away like a second skin. He felt sad. The chest had a mournfulness that he couldn’t place.
" Hello?" he uttered again, but his attention was riveted on the chest. Slowly, without fully realizing it, he moved towards the chest. He was suddenly upon it, hands trembling as he fingered the carvings, feeling the cool, smooth wood. The need to open the chest filled him, and this time the spanner fell as he knelt, worked the old lock with the key he found in his father’s room. It opened with a sigh. He pushed the top away, and it fell back without a creak.
He pushed aside the myriad of papers and trifles that filled the chest. He knew it was inside, whatever it was, but he couldn’t find it. That song. That eerie, sad song that filled his dreams each night. The source was within.
He found nothing.
Ilyas felt tears run down his face. Frantically, he searched. He tore apart papers, trinkets that were worthless to him, yet he couldn’t find what he sought. Where was it?!
He started to sob, with a sudden pain, he fell back. He ached. He knew it was there. Where was it?
As he sobbed into his hands, a figure started to rise from the chest, a grinning, dark figure forming slowly as it stood from the nothingness in the chest. Ilyas looked up with tear filled eyes, and this time, his fear was unmistakable. A scream died in his throat as the grinning shade drew a dagger from nowhere.
" Looking for something, your majesty?"
Like shining doom, the dagger came down hard and fast, straight for Ilyas’ throat.

* * *

"No!"
Ilyas jerked awake, the song in his ears fading slowly away. It was a dream. Just another dream.
But there, on his table, shining in the early dawn sun, was the key he took from his fathers room.
Untangling himself from his blanket, Ilyas made one of the rashest, most unplanned thing he had ever done.
He picked up the key, and headed straight for the attic.

No one was awake yet, the cool morning air refreshing in the pale sun light. Ilyas noticed nothing. Echoes of his dream reverberated within him, and he suddenly felt the need to be armed. He reached for the neares thing available as he walked through the living room, towards the stair. A spanner. In his dreamy state, he failed to notice the irony of his choice.
One step at a time, creaking stairs following his every footstep, Ilyas advanced up the stairs. He gripped the spanner, white knuckled fists tensed by his head. The door loomed darkly before him. He hesitated. It had all been a dream, right? He didn’t feel too certain about that. But this time, he would not let go of his weapon.
The door was locked. Ilyas tried again, unsuccessfully, turning the handle as hard as he could. He cursed, anticipation sour in his belly. Slowly, it dawned on him. He inserted the key. It fit. With some difficulty, Ilyas turned it and heard a satisfying click. Without meaning to, Ilyas pushed open the door a little to enthusiastically and it banged hard against the wall, making him jump.Steady, steady. He saw nothing out of the ordinary. No monsters, no grinning villain, just musk and dust and a whole lot of old rubbish.
Right where the sunlight filtered through the grimy window, was a pile of folded clothes on an old chair. There was no chest.
Ilyas stopped short. He felt silly. It had been a dream after all. He took a deep breath, and laughed weakly. All the suspense for nothing. He threw the spanner into the open tool box where he had fetched the spanner from earlier, and threw the cover down. It clanged loudly. He yawned mightily as he realized he still had a couple of hours left before he had to get ready for school. Might as well get some sleep.
It was then that he saw it.
From the corner of his eyes, he saw the jacket lying topmost on the pile of clothes atop the chair. It was folded nicely, the red lettering brilliant on dark green, and Ilyas was drawn to it. He cocked his head, studying the unreadable script on the jacket. It looked a little like some Indian writings he had seen on his friend’s Tamil language composition. He went closer, examining it with his eyes, then tracing it with his fingers.
No, he thought, it was similar but not the same.
Curious, he picked it up, holding the shoulders of the soft, green material and allowed it to fall open. It was beautiful. Holding it up against the bare light of the window, he grinned at his wonderful find. He unbuttoned the jacket, and slid it on, feeling the cloth( wool?) against his skin. It fit him as if it was made for him.
Ilyas buttoned up, and caught sight of the top of a full length mirror behind a couple of boxes marked ‘fragile’. He freed it without incident, sliding it on its wooden frame and looked for a good place to put it. Propping the mirror against the door to take full advantage of the weak light, he regarded himself in the mirror.
"Wow", he whispered, as he shifted from side to side. The jacket was miles ahead of his grey one, which were loose and could grow itchy if exposed to rain. Ilyas could not imagine this jacket being anything but comfortable. He nodded and threw himself a happy wink via the mirror.
But then, he froze. The jacket was exquisite, but what if it belonged to his father? It was just like the old man to deny him what he truly wanted. Especially if it belonged to him. He remembered how hard he had to work to convince his father to lend him his tools not so long ago. His father had only consented after Ilyas had shown his exemplary Ordinary level marks and his invitation to join St Albert’s. And even so, his father had insisted he supervise Ilyas to make sure the tools were returned in good condition.
Ilyas looked at himself in the mirror again. He admired the smooth cut of the jacket. He lifted his arms, tapped his shoulders and pulled on the attached hood, and pushed it off. It was decided. He would keep the jacket. To hell with what the old man thought. He smiled once more at his reflection, yawned again, and made to leave the room.
As he closed the door behind him sleepily, a thought crossed his lethargic mind.
"If only it wasn’t green, then it would be perfect."

Lets be truthful..

2006-07-10T21:00:00.000-07:00

Lets be truthful for once..

1) I borrowed this book from Jag.. and its in pretty bad condition even after he made me swear itll be fine, or he will use his sikh powers and throw me into a raging river. iwas saving up to buy him a new copy but a) im broke, and b) the world doesnt seem to have that edition anymore...

2) I havent smoked for ages. almost 2 weeks. the last one was a few days ago, but that was a few puffs from a stolen cigg( sorry bro) and other then that ive been smoke free. Not much cravings tho. im kinda bored of having to breathe deeply all the time.. tho i think once im loaded again ill turn into another chimney.

3) Ilyas is going to the dogs. Meaning ive run out of ideas. Theres plenty of ideas flitting around in my cranium i really dunnoe what to write down. Sad hey?

4) I can wait for NS. seriously. im looking forward to leading. I dunnoe y. I have my sights set on OCS(officer cadet school) and i hope i get in. Although i am kinda lazy, i wanna be a man like sharpe, and have men respect me becos im calm under fire.. i wanna test myself, and not be found wanting.

5) I have worn, two shorts, that do not belong to me, without underwear. They belong, repectively to Messrs. Khamal and Harrison and im really sorry guys, but theyre realllllyyy comfortable.. gets wind up me err.. ballacks if u noe wat i mean.

6) I have been a bad brother. I somtimes wonder if im being to 'adult' with taha.. too many foul words, throwing things at him and throwing him around, hitting him and stuff.. but he always gets me back. harder. Like playing roughly with him is just escalating his sense of violence.. im not surprised hell end up as a gangster one day, or head of a syndicate or a lawyer even.. cos hes going to be smart that one. mightily smart. The best of the jailani's, thats for sure. Maybe i can live off him or something.. haha..

7) i think italy are damn lucky to win the world cup, to get through to the next round even! They should have succumbed to australia, but that cheating, lying scum of a Grosso went flying at the right moment. A whole nation of Naval fools, i think.. think they can dive their way to victory..

8) I have the flu. Hence, i have phlegm. And i am uber sick. Since the phlegm irritate me so much, i kinda check how much plegm i remove after every blow. thats right. i grab a tissue, blow my nose.. and check how much green stuff i got. The more the better, right? so i can breathe without sounding like vader. And theres been a few colours.
a) the green: Standard colour, easiest to dislodge. the lighter the better.
b)the colourless: these are the most difficult to remove. they normally stay between the mouth and the nose, and are more sticky then wet, thereby forcing one wait for the opportune moment to blow it out. Very very irritaitng.
c) red streaks: the dry weather and nosepicking inevitably leads to blood as the inner skin is abraded with constant digging and/or blowing. not very normal.
d) the yellow: the rarest. i just got a sample.. i think it was the tea i was drinking.. kinda sick eh?

Anyway, u noe when u have absolutely nothing to write about when u write about phlegm.. so ill keep plugging away and think of a good story to write.. maybe ill write a story about a useless twenty something with nothing to do with his life( technically im still 19, but who's counting?)..

A quickie!

2006-07-10T20:08:00.000-07:00

Now heres the skinny: im bored. world cups over, and italy won. I now have 4 mnths till i enlist, im getting pudgy, lazy and bored(again!) i havent written a thing about ilyas in months, and i have a script i have to work on forn Yellow Chair(hush!) with two others and i have absolutely no enthusiasm cos i suck at writing scripts and watever i write turns out lyk a novel.

epic.

Harry's gone. Hes gone to the police academy and left me behind. The last of my bestfrens are gone. I miss bella a lot, tho i doubt she rmbrs me. I would so love to be friends again, but after what i pulled, i suppose this was always the outcome.

Silly me.

I wanna give a shout out to nadiah, who has been pressing me to write something. At least theres someone to encourage me. Thanks for that dear. I miss u. anyway, ive made up my mind.

Ilyas must go on.

So i will write, the script and Ilyas. So stay tuned to this channel. Cos the best is yet to come.

Mahdi vr Seya,
Taufiq

concerning Chpt2

2006-06-07T02:47:00.000-07:00

I have no idea how to begin the next chap.. Ive had a few thoughts but they don't seem to be very cutting edge.. i like the lois thing tho.. gives it a whole cool teenage thing going on in the seriousness of the world..

I think im gonna continue Ilya's story.. at least for now.. and pretend Sade is hiding behind a screen somewhere till i call him out.. :)

Here goes...

Seba Strikes Back

2006-06-01T04:03:00.000-07:00

I have succesfully beaten back NS for a whole month! So , if things go well at the CMPB, ill be going in July, instead of the stipulated 8th of June!!! So ill be able to watch...

Yes! the glory of winning the world cup is back! This June, the most expensive world cup( for the viewer that is) will be the hallmark of the world. People from afghanistan to papua new guinea, from france to thailand, from australia to new zealand(ok, bad choice) will be talking about Brazils winning goal, or how big makelel really is, or if crouch can reall ever couch, or if Togo has any pogo sticks.. people all over the world will be eating futball, drinking futtball( and beer), sleeping futtball(the women will be so pissed. i mean no sex for a month?) and even breathing futtball( ive tried this, and it does hurt, so dont ).

I mean look at the ball! its damn nice lah. Notice the joke played on the german guy( ie: hey look, its BALL-ack!hur hur hur).. and germany.. hooofff.. its a beautiful country!

And my favourite stadion? it has to be the olympiastadion..

i tink i might have mixed up two different stadiums, but wat the hell, they both look wonderful..

well, i have to go.. till den, do have dreams about fussball, and remember, the world watches with you. so please dont hog the couch.

laterza..

Update

2006-05-01T02:08:00.000-07:00

Now thats all for chpt 1. Im going to start of slower now, and gradually up the tempo. Not bad rite>? haha.. tune in to see what happens to our hero.. and by the way, theres been sum glitches so if u see sum weird symbols, there prolly mean an aprostaphy( i hope this is how u spell it).. so enjoy! thats the end of chpt 1, by the way.. the first part is in the febuary section, so do check it out!

As for the pics and the new blog layout, Sharmeel Adam rajaratnam is helping me out on this score. Sharm and i go way back, and hes totally enthusiastic to get his photo taking skills into play! HIs few shots, unedited have been wonderful, so im like waiting impatiently for his next magic act.. haha..

Dis jacket is damn nice rite? im going to get it made.. too bad its like a womans 's jacket lah..

I love the buttons lah.. the cut is wonderful.. ill get it made one day, prolly in thailand where its cheaper.. haha.. and how about this arty thing? Kinda got me thinking...

I have no idea how this picture correlates to my story, but its about a guy in a green jacket( albeit with a bird) so i guess it does have some meaning.. haha.. laterz

Chpt 1- Part 2

2006-05-01T01:56:00.000-07:00

Ilyas walked dejectedly through the screaming mass of bodies looking around for an empty seat. Everywhere, students in the maroon uniform of St Albert’s or still in the uniforms of their respective secondary schools were smiling, laughing, having a fun time at break. A second year boy with his maroon shirt un-tucked was flirting shamelessly with a girl in a light blue uniform, probably from Louis Batton Secondary. The girl laughed, lightly picking at the sleeve of the boy, who was showing her his biceps, with manly pride. His friends were riotous, shouting encouragements, some even throwing bits of food at him.

Ilyas ignored them. He yawned, and the tray in his hand jiggled. He felt as if his eyes were on fire, and had been feeling it since he got up this morning. His body ached badly; he thought his part-time job over the holidays seemed not to have agreed with him. With watery eyes he searched lackadaisically for a place to park, but all seemed chaotic and full to him. He sighed. Class had been difficult. He had failed to grasp anything the teachers had said, his mind seemed to be dulled by his fatigue. Twice, he had caught himself from falling asleep. He was lucky, though. The entire day had been about administration: school rules, school song, school uniform. Nothing much of importance. Only Mrs Lee had begun teaching her subject, Advanced Maths, and Ilyas had her pegged for a psycho ever since she dragged him to the principal’s earlier that morning.

Well, who could say now that he was a boring person with no fun experiences? At least he had some worthy anecdotes to introduce himself to his new classmates. Not that it mattered. He saw his classmates sitting in relative quiet, an island of solitude if you will, and thought of joining them. But they were deep in conversation, and Ilyas suddenly felt rather alone. He had missed out on the orientation camp before school term began, having to work on those days the camp was held. He regretted his decision not to take a leave of absence to attend that camp.

It seemed that everyone knew everyone else. Ilyas checked his step as a group of boys in green joyously backslapped a boy in white stripes on black, calling him an unfanciful name as the boy in stripes blushed. Ilyas tried to maneuver around them, and nearly bumped into a girl who timidly tapped a boy, and hugged him with a wide smile when he turned around, squealing in recognition as they boy looked quizzical.

He stopped beside a group of second-year girls sitting in a group of six. They were gossiping loudly, voices punctuated by giggles. He wondered whether he should get on a table and really scout the area. It seemed to him his vantage point at the moment was yielding the same result as the previous one. There was not a single empty seat to be had. Ilyas began to frown, as he swept the room with his hazel eyes.

The long rows of table were mostly clean, but getting messier as students ate the wonderful food. In the brochure that Ilyas had picked up back in secondary school, St Albert’s was renowned for their canoe-polo team, horse riding, fencing, archery and their food was constantly billed as excellent. Ilyas glanced at his tray. The steak looked good, but the salad looked quite damp and weak, the dressing clear. The drink was green, and he gave a distasteful look at it. Who ever heard of a green drink? He hated the colour, anyway. Made him think of the vomit he had regurgitated from Aunt Elly’s Salad the other night.

He looked at the salad again, studying the weedy appearance of the vegetables. With haste born of disgust, he chucked the entire dish into the nearest bin, and breathed a sight of relief. If he had taken any longer, he would have been unable to eat anything at all. Weakling, he thought to himself.

Once again, he looked up, searching for a place to sit. He noticed a few spaces, but they seemed to have been reserved for mates who were queuing up. He was starting to wonder when he would actually begin eating, when he noticed one of the girls from the gossiping group looking at him. She was staring at him, unblinking, drinking a milkshake in a clear glass, her lips formed in an ‘O’. Her big expressive eyes seem to devour him, and Ilyas suddenly felt pretty warm in the air-conditioned hall.

She seemed to stare at him for ages, and Ilyas tried to keep his eyes on hers, but somehow, every few seconds he would feel the urge to look away. He tried to look for a seat again, but his glance kept wandering to the girl, who drank her milkshake steadily, eyes still plastered on him. She finished her drink with a soft slurping sound, and then burped into a napkin. She resumed looking at Ilyas, making him feel his cheek warm up with sudden heat.

"Hello." She was talking to him! She seemed to speak with very little effort, as if from a dream, but Ilyas could hear her over the billion-decibel noise. Her friends were still giggling, all of them slapping their thighs or covering their mouths at a redhead who seemed to be telling bits of random gossip with enthusiasm, doing impressions of who the gossips were about. She ignored them. It seemed her whole attention was fixed on him, and only him.

Ilyas felt his mouth go dry. He tried to swallow, to get some juice into his mouth but he couldn’t. His feet began to sweat, and his stomach started to tingle. He tried to look cool, to ignore that quaking feeling from the pit of his stomach. With much effort, he steadied his hands and nodded at her, trying a smile on for size. A student from East Anglican High saw Ilyas’s face from across the hall and guffawed at his constipated look, signaling to his friend beside him who joined in the merriment.

"What’s your name, handsome?" she said in a voice that was poured honey, playing with her straw while still looking earnestly at him. The simple action of twirling was suddenly very beautiful to Ilyas, and he seemed to be hypnotized by it. It took a moment for him to realize a question would require an answer. Unfortunately, he didn’t remember what the question was about.

"MMhhm?" was the best he could do, and he silently kicked himself for being so good with words. He vowed he would do better, so he cleared his throat.

"I'm sorry?"

Ilyas noticed the sudden quiet. The laughter had subsided, and the rest of the girls were looking at him, some interestedly, some with smiles. The red head was frowning at the girl who was talking to Ilyas. She saw the look on Ilyas’ face and shook her head slowly, her frown seeming to deepen, and she chucked her napkin forcefully into her empty bowl.

"She asked you what your name was, fool." The red-heads voice was gravelly, though Ilyas guessed she could sing alto if she wanted to.

"Ilyas," he said, looking at the girl with the big eyes. He felt like it was the right thing to do, so he bowed, his tray infront of him balanced well between his two hands.

Some of the girls started to giggle behind closed mouths. A tall, attractive girl with long black hair had her face covered but her shoulders were shaking. Ilyas didn’t notice. He was riveted to those enchanting eyes. The noise had become a distant squeak, and the crowd of students had vanished. It was only him and her, and he felt a sudden joy that he fiercely quelled. He had to keep it cool.

The girl, stood up, and motioned for the rest to do the same. "We’re done here, Ilyas. You can sit if you wish." She was a little shorter than him, but she seemed to radiate a sort of warmth that he hadn’t felt the entire day. His hands were clammy now, and his throat was slightly wetter, but his stomach was still doing jumping jacks.

The girl walked towards him, and smiled. The effect was dazzling. The pearly white teeth complemented her milky white skin, and her dark hazel eyes topped it all off. And those lips! Ilyas suddenly felt a crazy urge to run his finger along those lips. He returned her smile slowly, wanting to stretch the moment. As she walked past him, eyes still on him, he smelled her perfume, light but wonderful and his head spun.

"Its Lois," she smiled, fingering the lettering on his grey jacket, gazing deep into his eyes. "You know, like Lois and Clark? Do you like it?" At his nod, she tapped his nose gently, and Ilyas nearly jumped at the contact. "Ill see you around, huh?"

Ilyas nodded once, entranced. She turned her head away with what he fancied was reluctance, waving goodbye as she turned away. The rest of the girls followed her, glancing at him as they walked by, some smiling, others winking. The red head though, was last, and she didn’t look at him at all. He had smiled to all of the rest, but when he flashed a quick smile at her, the red head turned away. But as she came nearer, she appraised him with deep green eyes, looking up and down and shaking her head as if she disproved of his dress sense.

"Nice jacket, fag." She rolled her eyes, and patted him daintily on the shoulder. "Try harder, eh? Grey’s not your colour." She smiled, very brittely, and suddenly shouldered him aside with a sudden strong body check that took Ilyas completely by surprise.

Ilyas staggered, overbalanced, his shoe stuck in some spilled jelly. He managed to save his tray with the grace of the Almighty, his tray dancing as he tried to find the balance for himself and the tray. Unfortunately, the cup of green goo he couldn’t save, and it ended up flat on his tray, casting itself onto his expensive grey jacket. He watched aghast as it began to drip onto his pants, his light grey jacket stained dark green by the offensive mixture that was in his cup.

The girl turned, and saw her handiwork, and she preened, awfully proud. She laughed, a loud rash laughter, and shook her head. "There you go! Green Suits you much better, fag. Ill see you around, loser." She turned on her heels and walked away, explaining in a loud voice to anyone who would hear about what happened.

He stared angrily at the redhead. He was made to look like a fool! He spied the Lois looking over her perfect little shoulder and flashing her pearly white teeth as the tall, good looking girl told her what the red-head had done. Ilyas felt himself blush. He threw his tray on to the table. Quickly, he glanced down at his plate, and forced himself to eat. His hunger had totally disappeared, and he felt almost burning hot. Ignoring the laughter that was being directed at him, he took off his jacket and dropped it onto the bench beside him.

The jacket was a mess. The stain would never disappear, and he looked sadly at the jacket he had bought with his last paycheck. He had worked everyday, waking up at five in the morning and slogging through to late evening, sometimes till ten at night. It had taken him a month to get that jacket. Now it was just so much thrash.

He felt his stomach growl, but he didn’t feel like eating. He tried force-feeding himself, but it was no use. Dirtying his jacket, his only possession of worth, had taken away his appetite and given him ominous tiding for his Junior college life. He tried to calm down by taking deep breaths, and succeeded. Probably Mr. Tien at the dry cleaners could get rid of the stains for him. He regularly did wonders for Ilyas’ mum when she had stains on her office clothes. He felt his stomach rumble again. He needed to eat! He tried a mouthful of the steak, and nearly threw up. He dropped his fork in disgust, as the bell rang, signaling the end of break. Perfect, he thought. What else could go wrong?

He heard a loud rip behind him, and saw an elderly woman wearing a cleaning uniform, forcing a green grey cloth from beneath her trolley laden with cleaning equipment. Ilyas nodded at her, turned to get his ruined jacket and go. It wasn’t there anymore. He did a double take, and his jaw dropped as the old woman gave a sheepish smile, one tooth gold while the rest where yellowed with age.

"Is this yours, my son?" said the cleaner apologetically, as she handed Ilyas’ a pile of rags that was once grey and now was green, and torn practically in half. Ilyas sighed, picked up his tray, and stood up. He didn’t look at the woman.

"You can keep it, Auntie. I think you’ll need it more than I do."

As Ilyas walked away, the woman smiled to herself. The cloth would be excellent on Principal Mormon’s windows. She always had trouble getting the birds dropping off, but with that cloth it would be easy. She whistled tunelessly as she pushed her trolley towards the principal’s office.

Here it is!

2006-04-05T03:22:00.000-07:00

wow.. i love this. Its times like these that really make me wanna write! take a gander, and i would bet many of u out there are jumping in ur chairs.. i mean wow! thats what u call a superb story! haha.. ill write more like dat.. i wanna thank bernard cornwell and Dean Koontz for teaching me to write with purpose. Haha.. Enjoy!

Ilyas- One twist

2006-04-01T19:17:00.000-08:00

Ilyas stood still. Very still. In his hands, the silver tray was laden heavy with cups and seemed to pull him down, making him smaller. It didnt. Instead he prayed that he could be smaller. Anytime now, the person (or persons) on the other side of the cellar door would hear him.His heartbeat was absolutely pounding.

There was a hissing sound. He peeped through the crack in the cellar door, praying his white uniform wouldnt give him away in the darkness. He neednt have bothered. The two men clothed in black robes where hissing softly but vehemently to each other. They stood together, face to face, not four feet from Ilyas, and their intent was not kindly. Definitely. The naked blades in their hands was a testimony to their unkindly thoughts.

"Sade said he would be here!"

Ilyas's eyes snapped away from the knives, and his eyes widened involuntarily. Sade! That name. It was the second time he heard that name, and he felt cold. The cups in his hands started to tinkle as his hands began to shake. The last time he heard that name, Sade had been synonymous with death. This time, he knew, the death would be his.

"He is here. I can feel him." The taller of the two, presumably the leader hissed. He tensed, cocking his head, and sniffed the air. Ilyas jerked back from the door, and by the almighty, managed to keep his hands steady enough that the clinking did not penetrate the heavy wooden door of the cellar. He set the betraying tray aside, and waited in heart-bursting suspense, waiting for the door to explode as a group of men in black broke through, knives singing in the cool air, eyes gleaming with hatred as the did their evil job on him.

But no. There was nothing. Ilyas could wait no longer. He counted to twenty, then moved with infinite caution to look through the crack again. There was no one there.

He knew he should get back to work. But he was afraid. Those men were waiting out there, possibly at the gents, or under the buffet table, or heck, they could be one of the guests he was serving. " A chardonnay for you ma'am or errrrkkk!" and theres a knife in his gut, and his hopes of searching for his father's killer would be in vain.

At the thought of his father, he felt his blood cool. His heart rate slowed its beating, and a calmness settled over him. The panic he felt before turned to a numbing coolness, and he felt his eyes narrow. He would not be afraid. The Greenjacket will walk again.

He grasped the release for the doors, and swung them open with a bare minimum of effort. He had oiled the joints when he came in that morning, the door opened with nary a sound. Light flooded his retinas yet he did not blink, or tear. Instead, his eyes roved the vegetable counter, to the ice box on his right and the wine chiller to his left. No sign of anyone.

It wasn't surprising. Not many waiters liked to head to the cellar area, the furthest reaches of the restaurant. Spooky they said. Once, long ago a man had been chopped to little bits by his wife when she caught him cheating with her sister. She chopped them both up actually. They said she had kept them within the mansion grounds and the staff frequently came to the conclusion that the body was in the cellar, somewhere. The older staff loved to send the new ones, in this case, Ilyas, to fetch bits of things from the cellar, and scare them silly with nasty pranks. But this time, it wasn't a prank. Unless your the type type to delight at your own funeral.

Ilyas glided through the door of the cellar room. he glanced quickly left and right, faintly aware that his pristine uniform and his polished shoes were a dead give away in the pale light of the corridor. The restaurant was a refurbished mansion which had been a colonial house built on a small hill. The corridor went right, slopped upwards to the kitchen then the dining room itself. To the left the slope continued down to the staff canteen, gents and ladies, smoking area and a new underground parking area. For a moment he was undecided. Safety of the kitchen or the answer to the mystery? Surely those men wouldn't have gone to the bustling and hustling of frenchmen cooking? Ilyas made a decision. He decided to go left.

A muted bang. Four shadows with barely a murmur in the silence of the corridor seemed to stream from the gents. Their blades were out, and somehow they did not gleam anymore, but was matte. In an act so sudden that even his voice sounded shocked, Ilyas found himself screaming.

"Stop! Who are you? Oi!" His voice sounded like thunder in the narrow confines. In his mind he imagined the men running away faster at the sound of his voice. He felt power. The power of fear. He saw that in fear, men will do anything if pushed. So he roared even louder and began to gave chase.

Unfortunately, the men werent really filled with fear. The tallest one, the one who had smelled Ilyas turned and uttered a sibillant tone to his comrades and jutted an arm at the carpark doors. The three scampered off. Then with a mocking bow that Ilyas half saw in the dim light, he drew back and something came flying at Ilyas that was so fast that even blessed with wonderful reaction time, Ilyas could barely duck as the bloody blade tore through his shoulder. He screamed, half in anger, half in excruciating pain, and he felt his knees collapse and he pitched head first into the polished linoleum floor. The pain was intense. He panted like he had ran a thousand miles, his lungs bursting for air and his eyes blurring with tears. He sat up, back against the wall just in time to see the door to the carpark close. Bastard. Ilyas promised himself that if they were to meet in different circumstances, it would be the Green Jacket who would be bowing in mockery. And Ilyas was pretty sure he wouldn't miss.

He forced his head to look at the blade half buried in his right shoulder. It was maybe a foot and a half long, the blade slender, the handle curiously ornate, with inlaid jade on its black ebony handle presumably ivory. In his pain he noticed the crimson stain of blood on his uniform and frowned at the spreading pool of blood. He had to remove it, apply pressure and pray the blood would stop bleeding or he would be very, very dead.

ILyas murmured a prayer to the Almighty, braced himself for the pull. His eyes were gripped shut, he willed his hands to move towards the knife. He stopped. Pulling it out might actually cause more damage than if he left where it was. As softly as he could, he touched the knife, and moved it infinitesmally around.

Pain. Fire and Ice. He gritted his teeth so hard he could almost swear his teeth had sunk in. A low moan escaped his shut mouth. Blood. He must have bitten the side of his cheeks. He spat it out, and decided to leave the blade when he realised something. The part of the blade that was sticking out seemed to be bloody too. The matte colour he saw earlier was actually dried blood. And it wasnt his.

He got up unsteadily, but with increasing haste. Ilyas could feel the effects of the jarring impacts of his feet on the cold floor on his shoulder. But there was nothing for it, but to go on. For up ahead, like tiny footprints of smurfs, a red trail starting from the gents led all the way to the carpark.

" Oh, no," he breathed, suddenly stricken. Sade had struck again.

Ilyas found him sitting calmly on the third cubicle toilet, his hands slack by his side his once clean uniform stained with blood. His legs were askew, as if he was having a bad tummy and was desperate to release his load. He was unrecognisable, a save for the name tag on his chest. His head was a stump, an empty neck where the villains had detached his head. His chest was a mess of blood, and Ilyas saw the moments before they took his life, and saw how the blood had spurted out of the neck as the heart continued to pump, before finally slowing, then stopping.

Ilyas felt tears on his cheeks. Rage. Sadness. Hopelesness. He felt the death of his father keener now than ever before. He had thought himself beyond tears, beyond any pain after the tragic loss of his father. He was wrong. Whoever the freak was, Sade had started the ball rolling. Now it was slowly consuming Ilyas' life, as it rolled ominously to bring his end.

Weeping like a child, not understanding his own actions, Ilyas took the name tag. He fumbled for a moment against the sticky object, the polished gold and black lettering catching the overhead lights for a moment, blinding him.

Ilyas wept. He prayed goodbye to his friend, kept the name-tag in his pocket, and made sure he didnt leave anything that might incriminate him behind. Then he waved at the corpse.

" Goodbye Wadi. Your vengeance will be swift and deadly. I just pray that HE will show me the way. Go with god."

With that, the Green Jacket, clad in red and white, walked calmly out of the gents, and ran blindly into the night.

IM AN ALUMNI!

2006-03-28T01:26:00.000-08:00

Yep. Im an ALUMNI now.. haha.. I realise that for the first 1 and a half years in ngee ann, my life was a total bore. Not many frens, not many things to do. Then when i entered my second year, second semester, things got cool. Khamal was ard, and the EE guys got closer, as brothers are. Then there was ides and Dhan, and Nadiah, completion of Ides and the end of attachment.
Last sem was hardly felt. Seriously. Time just flew by, and now its over. Now im bumming. Heck, im bumming and doing nothing, cos thats how bad its become. Work eludes me still( not sure whether its my natural lazyness or my luck) but at least theres football to get me thru the day.

Have U heard? im Talking to Bella again. :) N im pretty surprised shes single.. and my fault too. I hope things get better for her. I just hope she rmbrs that im here, and use me as a resource. Thats rite. USE ME. Its weird sometimes when a woman flirts with u bigtime, and they start talking about taking off ur clothes and kissing u all over, and when u offer them wat they want, they come out and say " NO ".. its like they want u to come and take it or something.. take them. Bar that, they might just wanna talk about it. Woman. I wish i cud get a girl hus more like a man in some ways. Hu knows what she wants. hmm.. Den i dun have to explore so much.. :P

Ilyas is rotting, poor guy. Im late, but life is really pulling on me. I feel sick all the time, my tummy's getting bigger, Shabina might be coming back like real soon, bella's been promising me that she'll hug me when she sees me( since its legal for her now) and Dzul told me to go for the Raffles hotel Job. Well, all these things aside, im seriously bored. huh.

Oh well..

New Chapter

2006-03-12T17:48:00.000-08:00

Its that time of year again, where i realise i have absolutely nothing to do, so i have to either go look for a job, or get down to serious Ilyas-ing. Im basically happy with the first chapter, but i absolutely hate the damn prologue! the beginning is weak, and i think i have to re-write.. like a friend of mine said it " doesnt catch onto the mind" so i will try to put hooks on it..

Anyway, things are back to its lonely best( haha) tho this time i think its really gonna be permanent. Its amazing really. U tell a girl ur falling for her and the next thing you know, your out on the streets. Weird. And i meant it too. I wonder why its easier to be with a girl whom youve lied to about this? Saying I love you in a fake way. hmm..

Funny story. Was in malaysia the other day, and i was talking about my play to my parents while Taha was asleep beside me. My mum asked if Yihan was 'lembut' (ie: fagoty) but i said no, hes more the innocent, cute, naive type. So we procedded on, and suddenly i thought of asking my mum her thoughts of Sarah, and her side splitting act(Marrriiiaaannn!!!) and then my mum cut me off as i did an imitation of that "MARRIIAANNN!" voice...

MUM: That Marian is a daughter of a Eurasian rite?

Me:(dumbfunded) err no mum. Her grandad's a Baba.

Mum: OH! No wonder she looks chineses, but her diction is superb.

ME:(trying to change the subject) WOW! look at that prata shop! Nice colours!

Mum: So what's her name?

Me:(no way out) Nazatul Syima.

Mum: Such a nice name. So arabic. But then, she (mimes a V{for vendetta} and mimes smoking a cigarette) hisap rokok (add smoking sound effects) like what only!

Exit Mum.
Cue Head banging against glass window.
End Scene.

What only siah. Why do people all ard me insist on talking about her when im accpeting defeat and moving on? I mean, two times rejected must mean something right? A good fren of mine, Zulhakim asked me, " So have you given up the fight yet?"

I shrug. My reply was simple. " I havent. But im not going to do anything about it. If God means it to happen, it will. We may choose, but its up to HIM to confirm things. So i wait. Terserah as the malay's would say. And pray."

If that answer was cheesy, i beg to differ. I believe in it heartily. I mean, if i can have these moments of othr-people-talking-about-her-syndrome, i bet she has the same thing going on, right? One can only hope.

I will return to ilyas soon. Now, its time for some gym.

Chao ancho!

Its done!

2006-03-05T20:29:00.000-08:00

Yihan, me, Shahdon, and Mr Bahri.
The most eligible javanese Dude award.
Fashion disaster.

Woo hooo... the night was a resounding success.. it truly was! The lines came with a snap, the transition was quite smooth, the audience, interactive... it was an actor's dream! there were some grumblings at the stolen grave during the last scene (shame!) but it was great nonetheless!
I seriously wanna put up the pics but i have no pics to put up! Poor thing rite? ill go look ard for some pics, and steal them.. im sure Mr. Seeto(read: shahdon) has plenty, and quality pics at that too.

Thanks all, for coming. From Seba duvall with love.

Ps: This week was stressful and doubtful. This week will be filled with hope. Next week? inshaallah, things will be great.

Pss: this has been updated. Danke gern to Mr Shahdon who i have quietly stolen these pics from..

The Next Chapter

2006-02-28T23:26:00.000-08:00

Today marks a very special day: where i will begin writing the next chapter of The Green Jacket: Masquerades( actually, just the next part. The first chapter will be complete in probably a weeks time.) and thats not all. Todays the day where I face a new stage in my life: ADULTHOOD. In other words, national service! I shall look forward with ardour fitting that of a patriot( yeah rite) and a man willing to face the world( only with a large army behind me, and preferrably around me as well). Hopefully, i wont disappoint my all those things that matter most to me.

For those people taking ur A level results, namely Chitra, Faizal, Sheema, and the rest of the world, good luck, god bless, and may ur futures be filled with long days and pleasant nights. Cos hopefully, ill get my damn diploma too. : )

And the Green Jacket walks again.

A tribute to a Great man

2006-02-22T19:19:00.000-08:00

Sometimes its bad. And this is as bad as it can get. I put my hands together in salute, and prayer, and i hope God gives this brave man a chance to return to action. I cant say i know how it feels to have a broken leg. But to a footballer, breaking a leg is like losing hands for a tennis player, losing the dick as a man-whore or even losing the brain for a chess player. Its bad. really bad. Poor Smudger.

Well be here. Those fans who hated you for your cross Pennines switch are lying when they say they don't care about your current plight. We all love you, Smithy. You gave your heart and soul for Leeds, and we will never forget.

Respect? look at the blurred faces of the two managers in the background. See the concern on their faces.

Courage? "Alan has immense courage and he was showing it when he went to block the free-kick. It made the whole day doubly disappointing for us."-club captain Gary Neville.

Sense of humour? "When I looked down the leg was lying one way and my ankle was pointing towards Hong Kong - so I knew I was in serious trouble." (he can still joke at a time like this?)

Our Love? "Even though Alan was a little bit delirious as he was coming off, he was able to recognise that not just United fans, but a lot of Liverpool fans, were giving him a round of applause." - Smith's agent Mr Alex Black.

We love smudger. Get well soon, and youll be back terrorising players everywhere. God speed.

news.. News..news

2006-02-22T19:13:00.000-08:00

heya all.. i noe there are people out there awaiting the next part of me epic.. har har.. but due to time constraints( ie: mugging, housework, dallying with a certain person, winning eleven 9 and basic sloth) i wont be able to continue the story till mayhap next month. So ilyas will have to wait a while longer. It seems my life will take precedent right about now. : )

Take care all. And as before, i apologise for any spelling errors that have occured within the hallowed confines of this blog. It is rather "unpolite" I did not mention this before, but i have to show "character" and come forward with this info.

Cheers.

first part of chapter 1

2006-02-06T22:37:00.000-08:00

Heres the first part. im seriously victimising the poor boy arent i? haha.. dis is soooo fun.. apologies for any spelling errors, grammatical errors or any weird visualisations. Its still in its basic form. Enjoy!

Proposed Chapter 1

2006-02-06T21:07:00.000-08:00

Dr Mormon of St Albert's Junior College was not incredibly impressed when Mrs Lee barged into his office during his morning coffee. In fact, he was peeved. He had his reading glasses on, the thick framed ones Mrs Mormon had insisted he purchase when his eye-sight became problematic. After all, he was sixty-two this coming March, and at that age he would expect to at least have his daily ritual of hot coffee his wife would make every morning in a silver thermos flask. She would bundle along a copy of the Maine Daily, knowing how her husband loves his news. Thus he would start his day, fifteen minutes of peace, filled with the pleasant aroma of arabica beans, and news that was hot of the shelve. But here was the peace breaker, a crow of a teacher who appeared to be manhandling a student into his office. He glanced up, just once, and you could almost feel the hot flash of irritation those dark brown eyes radiated.

" Principal, this boy is late!" Mrs Lee screeched. She had on her horribly pink glasses, which barely concealed the beady eyes beneath, and rested on a nose that would not seem so out of place on a pit bull. Her thin, severe lips were pursed in a sneer, and she had her arms crossed on her bright fashion-destroying pink cardigan, her feet tapping impatiently beneath her ankle length brown skirt. Quite a showing, thought the amused doctor, going back to the blaring headlines of " MAN FOUND HEADLESS IN ALLEY: Police follow leads". And it was only a quarter-past nine, on the very first day of the new term. Yes, quite a showing, even for this particular teacher.

"Good morning Mrs Lee," said he, his eyes still scanning the news written by the esteemed Jimmy Luis. " Would you care for some coffee?"

The heaving teacher looked scandalised. " I'd rather not," she sniffed, looking down her nose." I do have a class to attend to."

That statement was a thrown gauntlet, and the old man was taken aback at the woman's audacity. He decided he would not take such blatant disrespect, the insinuation that his fifteen minutes was time wasted shirking his job. But screaming with fury was not his style. Subtlety was his forte, so instead, he fixed the woman with an incredulous stare and sipped more coffee with a loud slurp to further infuriate her.

"You say you don't have time for coffee, yet you bring a student into my office at a quarter past nine on the first day of the new term? This boy seems to be a first year at that." He switched his gaze to the hapless victim. He was clad in a green sweat jacket, brown pants that probably made him a student of Napier Secondary School, in the North.

" First year, are you boy? Napier Secondary?"

The boy nodded somewhat forlornly, his face set in a submissive mask. Dr Mormon nodded, and and turned his attention back to his newspaper with an exaggerated sigh.

"Alright, Ill talk to him," he said. The curt dismissal had an immediate effect. Mrs Lee, who was obviously hoping he would take the cane to the boy immediately and practice his forarm swings, started to open and close her mouth like she was chewing a very tough piece of meat.He knew her type. They took 'sparing the cane' (this, of course, bastardised from that classic saying about spoiling the child. Sheepish smile from the story-teller) to whole new levels, and if they had their way, teachers would be dragging around canes the length of his arm to enforce discipline in the ranks. But it was still his school. His ranks. He stretched the silence, waiting patiently for the explosion that was bound to arrive, pretending to read whilst studying her from the corner of his eyes.

With a spluttering, mumbling, whispering, red-turning face, the old crow struggled to compose herself and come up with a quick comeback that was witty and wouldn't make her look like a fool. She finally had one(a full five seconds, mused the old principal), drew a breath to voice out her point in no uncertain terms, and was gleefully interrupted by the old codger, who was faster to the draw. He looked up, with nary a smile on his face, and said, " Don't you have a class to attend to, my dear Mrs Lee?"

When the door had slammed shut, the old man chuckled to himself(good riddance!), and settled down to continue his reading. He was taking his third sip when he remembered the boy who was still quietly watching the floor, probably counting the tiles in the room or counting dustmites, even. He put down his coffee, and cleared his throat. No reply. He took the time to study the boy. About 5 foot 2, with wide expressive eyes, thick eyebrows(a sign of power that, he thought, fingering his own) that tapered naturally, a small yet proud nose and hair that was longer than school regulations. He had on a pale green jacket over his Napier uniform, the soft material stretching over thin but wide shoulders and his pale face was still fixed upon the floor. This was boring. He preferred his students to be terrified in his presence. Time to set that point right.

"Whats your name, boy?" he asked gruffly. The boy was jolted by the coarse, phlegm-in-the-throat voice. He licked his lips, head now lower than before, and mumbled something unintelligible. At another prompt, louder this time with a hint of warning thrown in for good measure, the boy spoke up, his voice a soothing tenor. " Ilyas, sir."

Dr Mormon nodded, took out a cigarette pack of reds and his zippo lighter from the right drawer, opened the window beside his desk, with drew a small electric fan from the cabinet behind him and turned it on with its blades pointing out the window. He lit his cigarette and took a hard drag.

" Tell me, Ian, " he emphasied the name, knowing full well it was wrong and enjoying theway the boy was squirming, delibrating in whether to correct his superior or not. "Why were you late today?" said Dr Mormon, and blew smoke at the fan with abandon. The boy, now starting to sweat, had decided that the principal could call him Olly the Elephant man if he wanted to. He swallowed audibly. The smoke fairly flew out the window as the fan did its work, the smoke dispersing as it left the building.

Silence. "Well? Don't test me boy."

The boy's head was so low his chin was on his chest. He looked as if he had a sumo wrestler sitting on the nape of his neck(which is quite painful, by the way) " I woke up late, sir."

Dr Mormon took another drag. He had noticed the dark rings beneath the boy's eyes before, and he half believed the story already. The boy seems harmless enough though, so Dr Mormon decided to do his job educating them, like the school board paid him to do, and lighten up on the "gestapo crap", as Keanu Reeves so succinctly put it in 'The Matrix'. Like the proverbial apple a day, Dr Mormon was a man who believed in preventative measures.A lecture maybe? Something that would keep the little scoundrel away from his warm coffee and hot news. He sipped his coffee and made a face at how fast it was cooling. Damn first years.

"Son, do you know why youre here?" There was no answer. It seemed the boy took it as a rhetorical question it was meant to be.

"You are here because you broke school rules. You are late!" At this the aged doctor stood up and came to the front of the table, and plumped his behind beside the picture of his wife, and looked down at the silent boy, who still had that sumo on his neck.

"I agree, that you are here today, on the first day, of your first year, your first time in these hallowed halls even, but there are no excuses for your punctuality. Or lack thereof!" he narrowed his eyes.

"Classes start at half past eight, not nine. You cannot just come waltzing in at any time that suits you, and expect us to welcome you with open arms. Who do you take yourself for, the Maine Idol? That mincing, girl looking teenage boy who sings like a female and joyously wears make-up? You teenagers and your idols! With him around, we'll have a generation of pansies skipping about!"

He paused for effect, and took a deep breath. He almost felt sorry for the boy. Though only a little. He'd pay the little johnny for ruining his fifteen minutes.

He snatched the paper from behind him and dangled in directly infront of the boy's eyes, forcing him to look up. The screaming headlines flashed. "Look, boy! See all this crimes? These Murders?" he poked at the headline with a tobacco stained finger. Ilyas blinked, quickly. The view away from the linoleum was infinitely worse.

"Well, theyre probably fools like you who start off by coming late for school. Then they get smart, and start lying, and then some good old petty theft. Then they go on to robbery, assault and finally they graduate to full-blown MURDER!" The boy was riping nicely, and so the happy principal turned the screw.

" The police are going to sort them out. The Republic of Maine has the best police force in the world! President Da Silva has pledged to us Mainites that he would clean up the streets," he pointed at a photograph on his wall of a handsome clean-shaven, tanned man with a shining smile, a proud nose and intelligent eyes with the plaque beneath it reading 'the eleventh president of the Republic of Maine, MR Jonathan da Silva'.

" I voted for him your know." Dr Mormon said, beaming. "He will clean up this country. And those murderers, who have started out like you, a bunch of no good late comers, will havefront row seats to firing squad: The Movie! BOOM!" he slammed his palm on the table and laughed with maniacle glee as the boy jumped up five feet and landed on his chair with a ploop and airplane wheels for eyes.

He gave the boy his best Ive-got-my-eyes-on-you look. "You going to MURDER someone boy?"

Ilyas shook his head so hard his head was bound to fall off if he went any faster. His hands were gripping the chairs arm rest, leaving finger marks indented into the upholstry.

"Good! Because if you did," he growled low in his throat and thrust his face into the boys. " I'll be there to catch you. Now go back to class. The next time, you consider breaking another rule, ill be there, watching you."

He pointed at the door. "Now get read of that stupid jacket and the next time I see you walking around with that long hair Ill chop your ears off! Get to class!"

Dr Mormon watched in amusement as the boy yessired and scrambled to remove his jacket along with his presence. He tripped over the chair, righted it, dropped his jacket, picked it up, still mumbling yessirs and immediatleys. He got to the door, opened it on the second try and got one foot out the door just as Dr Mormon barked his name.

"Ian!"(and so Ilyas became Ian to the jolly old principal.)The boy turned slowly, afraid of more hairdryer treatment, the hand holding the door knob trembling slightly.

"Welcome to St Alberts."

As the door slammed shut, Dr Mormon chuckled to himself.

Damn first years.

concerning chapter 1

2006-01-31T05:44:00.000-08:00

Now, ive been cracking my head this past few days and it seems i was going to end up screaming in mental pain cos i have no idea how to start the new chapter! yeah, it stings.. and stinks too. so, im going to go with my original idea: that is begin with Ilyas going to his first day in school. Itll be a sorta throw back to anyone on his first day, and ill make sure theres some love interest involved. A friend of mine insisted she be inside, so ill probably put her in sumwhere. haha.. anyway, here goes...

Prologue Done!!

2006-01-23T20:06:00.000-08:00

Guys, pls doooo comment on my prologue.. its only a draft but it would be great if you guys could check it out.. As soon as you guys do ill work on the first chapter, and so forth.. enjoy reading! ive really tried to make the characthers pop into life, so forgive me if i took the liberty on names.. i havent been doing much reserch, anyway.. haha..have fun! and do forum me HERE.. ill try to make it link, tho im having problems with that.. catch u later!

Review here

2006-01-18T00:56:00.000-08:00

There have been idiots complaining of how to review, so ive gotten a forum link so u can do it.. and dun worry.. ur a lovable idiot.. haha.. so click HERE to review. All reviews will be treated with all the respect it deserves, so do review, i tell u, cos its true(rhyme siah!) haha..

Proposed Prologue

2006-01-16T00:37:00.000-08:00

Imagine a dark night, the moon hidden behind large ominous clouds and the wind growing stronger as the weather turned grim. Silence, as every door in every apartment in Woodgrove Town was shut against the night, the inhabitants afraid. The recent spate of unsolvable murders that have swept across the country-island of Maine left the police baffled and the people terrified.

Through the empty, dimly lit streets, there was a sound of pattering, steadily becoming thumps of heavy footsteps. The rapidity suggests someone on the run. Heavy breathing would follow, if the sound of them were not covered by those pounding feet. Someone must really be in a hurry.

Iskandar ran. He was afraid, of that you can be sure. He runs with a wild abandon, not looking where he is actually heading to but just wanting to get away. He risks a glance backwards, hoping in vain that his pursuers where gone.They had. They were no longer there.This took him utterly by surprise, and as a result, his footsteps slowed, then stopped. He was breathing hard, and the cool night air was cooling the sweat that had made his cotton shirt an unlikely home.

Suddenly, the danger that had manifested so suddenly did not seem so imminent.He had been reading at home, in an apartment that was five stories up, when he was attracted by some sudden urge to be outside. So he had gone downstairs, taking the old elevator that had served the block for many a-years, feeling it shiver slightly as in passed every floor. On the wall were the floor levels in nice rounded chrome buttons and above it a sign saying "$ 200" underneath a picture of a cigarette with a red line crossing it diagonally. Iskandar wondered briefly whether there was anyone foolish enough to actually smoke inside the elevator. Two hundred was a cool sum, and it was quite a lot in these troubled times, when crime was on the rise, with the rate of crime done to crime stopped being almost five to one, the sudden unemployment crisis, the hot words bandied about by the nation's neighbours, cigarette prices were going through the roof. And here they were, charging two hundred for a smoke in the elevator, when smoking outside was a much better idea. He shook his head slowly, took out his cigarette container, and counted the contents. Three left. He would have to get another pack the moment he was done with this one. Katy would not be pleased.

He sighed, and placed the container back into his pocket. One day he would have enough to make her his wife. He had been offered several wonderful posts that he had turned down, even though he knew they would have set him up for life. They would have given him a beautiful partner and the four babies they had planned for, two boys and two girls. But he had still turned them down. The reason? He did not know it himself, at least not consciously, for he had never voiced it out and ever his inner voice tried to stamp the very thought from his mind. But it seems he was destined for something. Something big. Snatches of a song kept playing in his head, in a language he did not know or understand, sounding mournful and yet hopeful at the same time.

With a chime and a sultry female voice announcing the first storey, he arrived below. The cold wind that blew and that faint smell of rain welcomed him, but as he walked a few steps he realised something. He did not know exactly why, but he felt that he had been called to go there.He was afraid, yes, but he was intent not to show it. In him there seemed to be liquid steel flowing through his veins. It does not mean he does not have fear in his vocabulary, but to him, fear was an enemy long past conquered. He was not lacking in courage.

Unfortunately, it was not his lack of courage, but an abundance of youth that proved his undoing. He was young. And the young, as the old would like you to believe, are reckless. So he had ignored that feeling, and stood his ground.He did not stand his ground for long. As he withdrew a cigarette from his pocket container, he felt the wind pick up. His long-ish dark hair was positively dancing, when a moment ago it had barely moved. He had taken three attempts to light his cigarette, finally hiding behind a wall with his left hand cupped to get it lit.

The first drag was heavenly. He had not smoked for almost a week, and he recognised the first feeling that came as guilt. He had promised Katy he would kick the habit, that he had kicked the habit, but he thought he had a very good reason to break the week long fast. For the first time in his life, even though he could not explain it, fear was overpowering him. It was as if the air around him had developed hands, and was slowly but surely squeezing the very air from his lungs. His own hands grew moist, and those normally steady limbs begin to shake. His knees start to quake. He was almost choking as he tried to breathe, retching silently.The cigarette dropped. The fear was started out as a whisper was screaming now. The half-finished cigarette with grey ash dribbling from its tip fell to the ground. If an Environment officer was around, it was a good bet that he would have been booked, at least a two hundred dollar fine for littering.

But he was past caring. Slowly, Iskandar felt himself being choked to death.He heard the sinister laughter, the mincing sound of a clown gone bad. He was, at this time, on his knees, struggling still to draw breath, his fingers tearing at the clamp that seemed to be upon his throat. He tried to look at the owner of the voice, but he could not. His vision was dimming like a lamp on board a train that is moving away from you during a dark night.

"Run, my dear. Run!” That voice! It had a rasping quality to it that was scary, but somehow reassuring. Like an old, familiar uncle who was handling a knife hidden behind his back, and an almost placating smirk upon his face, and his other hand beckoning.Like an Uncle who works as a clown. A clown gone bad.

"RUN!" And Iskandar did. He felt the grip lessen, and he stumbled on to his feet, and ran like a drunken monkey. His fear was nauseating, but it gave him strength to get away. His legs tried to start its pumping but it faltered as he tried first to win his breath back, half-succeeded, got his innate gyroscope working again, and off he went on the 100 metre dash. Only this time, he knew, he could not win, even if he had Thierry Henry's pace. The tittering, menacing yet friendly laughter followed him still. If he had a million dollars, he would bet that that laughter would still follow him had he transported himself to the other side of the world.He was being toyed with, and he knew it.So he had ran, and turned to find no one, and he had stopped. These thoughts had barely taken a second to bounce around in his mind, but even now, the fear was abating its domination of him, and the steel that was normally within was reasserting control. He began to forget that there was even a voice in the first place, and reasoned that the fear was probably the guilt about lighting up in the first place.

As he felt his panic ebb, the laughter began again. He felt fear assault him like a horrible wave, and he gave back, step by step. Through slitted eyes, hands over his face, he glimpsed six shadows converge on him, slowly gaining solidity from nothing, and revealed six figures of almost the same height, marching in step, similar ebony robes moving slowly in the breeze. They held parangs glinting evilly even in the dark, the only light being a flickering apartment sign "372 of Woodgrove Town District". It was then, that Iskandar broke. He did something that he had not done since he was a little child.

Prince Iskandar, unknown heir to the lost throne of Java (even to himself), blood descendent of Golden Alexander and the Great Salahiddin, who the infidels call Saladin, wept in utter anguish.He fell before their advance. Black despair filled his heart and bile rose unbidden to his lips. He retched till he could retch no more, but still the laughter continued. He stumbled backwards, weeping tears of fear so concentrated it was excruciating. In his blindness, hoping to escape the fearful torment, he crashed into the wall behind him and fell in a heap upon the cold and slimy floor.

He knew the game was up. He had nowhere to run.He lay a moment curled in a ball, his arms encircled around his heaving body, tears like rain falling onto the dirty pavement. Rats and cockroaches where nowhere in sight; they had fled at the sound of that (evil clown) laughter. Then, as if in answer to his cries the laughter ebbed away to giggles, and then silence.Iskandar recovered enough to raise his head. Through the haze of tears he saw a man in black, even darker than the six behind him (if that was possible), who now sketched a bow to him, still tittering as if the joke was over but the laughter still carried on. He seemed shorter than the rest, but he was powerful, more powerful than the six who stood in a semi-circle behind him. It was in his stature, every sinuous curve filled with evil menace, yet somehow, there was something hauntingly familiar about this apparition. He was wearing a hood which covered his face, but even in the dark Iskandar could fathom the sardonic grin beneath the darkness.

He began to speak.

"Ah, my Prince! I am glad you are well. No, no, don't get up, its alright if you continue to stay rested." At this the Evil man, no, thing, laughed and Iskandar cringed again. The thing held up a finger and shook his head. "Now now, no need to get all scared, after all a healthy sense of humour is always important."

Iskandar could make no sense of this tirade. In a soft, almost tired voice, he said, “Prince? What prince? Who are you? What do you want with me?" Senseless questions really, but even in his weakened state he desired to know what was happening. More importantly, he needed to know why this was happening to him.

"Why?" He cackled." Who? They didn't tell you? How quaint! I suppose they wanted to protect you from yourself. Stupid, arrogant fools." He giggled, and suddenly looked serious, if that could be contrived in the semi-darkness. “Well, you are a Prince of the Prophecy, but that doesn’t mean you are going to be the King," he barked his laughter. “I don't intend for you to be Him, anyway. You see, I’m going to kill you, and then I'm going to cut off your head and stow it as proof of your death. Someone very powerful wants you dead. And I, of course," he giggled girlishly," never fail."

Iskandar was trembling now. He knew he was at the mercy of this thing and his end seemed to have been set. But the thing was not done with him. No, it had one more thing to show Iskandar. The thing withdrew a black cloth bag and without ceremony tossed it at Iskandar. It bounced once, twice, and then dumped its contents in his face. Iskandar blinked in horror. His cousin Wan stared back at him with a slack expression on his face, and the evil thing burst into mirthless laughter.

“Gaze upon your guardian, your highness!" cried he, “look upon those who have failed to serve you! You knew him as Wan, but his true name was Bambangwan Hamengko, of late a Knight of the order of Java. In the High Language it means 'Warrior Protector', did you know? He might be named 'Warrior', but he wasn’t much of one when I swiped his head from his shoulders!"
Insane laughter ensued. “And by the time I was through with him, he wasn’t really a male, if you know what I mean!".

Iskandar did not heed this; he was cradling the head of his cousin in his arms, blood coating his hands and lap as he stared sadly at the eyes that always crinkled in laughter, that mouth that always held a smile ready or had a kindly word to say. Slowly, he looked away from the head and he tucked it into the crook of his left arm. His eyes swung forward, and a fire began to burn within him. His eyes were like exploding stars and the darkness fell back before him. His wrath concentrated before him like a raging fire, and the darkness despaired. The six guards, in their dismay, fell back a step, then another, and every step they gave he gained in strength, till he could get to his feet easily.

But the thing stood still, and began to laugh; using the evil it possessed to bring him down to his knees, to crush his resistance.But it was of no use. He felt a growl in his throat, the battle fever hot upon him. The laughter grew, louder and louder, decibel by decibel, till the very air was rank with fear and hatred and the residents in block number 372 of Woodgrove Town District screamed in their beds as the fear assaulted them too. But still, it mattered not. He was revealed now, the true Prince of the Line, every line shining with ancient power as he strode forward and roared.

"Halt you, thing of evil! You cur! You hinzir! You son of a motherless goat! You have no power over the light! I know you, Sade!" at this the creature whimpered and the laughter ceased as if a switch had been flicked off, “And as I know your name I know you to be a coward! Feel my wrath as I smite you into the ground, fool!" And the Prince leaped forward with his right arm cocked, on his lips a battle song of Kunsowong Bambang, his brow alight with the inner fire, inner light that was in his blood, was his heirloom from his ancestors and he called upon it to destroy this evil before him.And he found himself stopped a bare whisker from his target, stopped by some unknown force. He gasped and grabbed at Sade, drawing back the hood and staring in surprise at the truly familiar features of his own face. A mirror. A doppelganger. A clone. And the clone, laughed.

"You think you can defeat me so easily? I, who have hunted your kind for centuries, and drank the blood of your guardians, I have learned well, my dear Prince.” He smiled and began to sing a song, the song that Iskandar had been hearing in the darkness of his dreams, the song in the unknown language, presumably the High Tongue

Iskandar felt tears, not of pain but relief, for the song brought understanding and he felt lighter, more ready to meet his fate. For it was all over. He hung onto Sade, and stared deep into those eyes filled with hatred. He slowly broke the contact and cast his eyes down. The jewel encrusted dagger hilt was all that could be seen, the rest was within him.

"This weapon was crafted by the Siamese, and if ever there were a people I loved, the Siamese have won the jackpot!"

Blood began to pour as Sade said this, grinning. Iskandar felt tired, but still he did not let go. Again, he looked into Sade's eyes, and this time he smiled.

" You have not won, Sade. Soon, the one shall reveal himself, and he will be too powerful for even you to destroy." And he sang of the prophecy, the same song Sade had sung earlier, but stopped at a line, which he repeated in English.

“He shall be clad in green, and no mortal weapon will destroy him. You will never win."And with that the Sade laughed. He laughed, this time it was with pure mirth, and he laughed till his stomach ached, as the life blood of the prince dribbled out onto the floor like a red, red river and he laughed some more, till he was hoarse. Then he shook his head slowly and wiped the tears in his eyes with his shoulders, still holding onto the prince in a death embrace. He barked a laugh, and then seem to subside, smiling merrily, almost kindly.

"How little you know, my prince.” he twisted the knife, making the mortally wounded prince moan in anguish. And with one quick move, the Siamese blade, still hungry for Javanese blood after seven centuries, still as sharp as the day it was hauled triumphantly from a fire deep in the heart of Siam, was ripped out of Iskandar’s body. Swiftly, more merciful than he intended, Sade decapitated his prey.

He smiled, replacing his hood, and slowly licked the blood from the gleaming blade.

“For I, have already won.”