It was raining that day. Not the type of rain that drowns, no never that. It was a patter, a soft, moist multitude of kisses that barely makes a sound as they hit the brown churned up mud that was pockmarked with holes and fallen bodies. Weapons, bloodied and broken, lay inches from cold, grasping hands, as sightless eyes reflected the grim mood of the sky.
But among the breath-less were the breathing. The men of the 17th Infantry Maine Volunteers Regiment huddled together to keep their wet and aching bodies warm as the wind started to build. Coats started to weave small figure-8s as they were teased by the moving air. Their eyes, surrounded by mud of a hundred days, blood of a hundred bodies and exhaustion of a hundred miles, stare across the churned up morass towards the enemy lines to the north. Smoke from a thousand cookfires wafted in the air, mingled with the silhouetted movements of uncountable enemies in the pale, weak sunshine coming from the dawning sun obscured by thick clouds.
There was utter silence. No one spoke. No one moved. A swallow from the woods east of their position flew over them, never realising that 836 men of Maine were crouched down in anticipation of the coming attack. A gun was fired within the enemy encampment, but it was shot upwards, a signal to pack up camp instead of a warning at the closeness of the enemy. It hardly mattered. The Mainelanders did not react. They were battle hardened men, who had volunteered to push the enemy out of their lands. They were ready to bring death to the enemy, without mercy, without pity.
A figure moved.
He stood up, the hood of his green jacket was down, his hands were bare. On his hip were two hatchets, one on each side, honed to deadly edge, with a Kris tucked behind his back. He moved forward as the men of the 17th Maine silently withdrew their swords and revolvers.The time had come.
For a long moment, he gazed at the enemy, arms hung loose from his side. His dark brown eyes were topped by longish black hair that had been allowed to grow over the hundred days of war. His face was youngish, with slight smile lines obvious even in the weak morning light.
But he was not smiling.
Slowly, he turned himself around, and looked at the men who would follow him to break down hell's doors. He was secretly pleased at how ready they looked, how hungry they seemed to free their land from the presence of the invaders. He was proud of every single one of them, but he knew he would never tell them. There was nothing to praise. They were just doing what had to be done.
He reached up, pulled his hood over his head,and in one smooth motion, turned and sprinted towards the enemy.
Behind him, like a massive shadow, the 17th followed their leader with revolvers cocked and swords at the ready. Wind continued to blow, muffling the muffled footfalls of boots on mud. Men slipped but were held steady by comrades abreast. The column held its integrity, moving as one like a sledgehammer coming to strike a hornets nest.
The three men who were the sentries were the first to die. Like a green hurricane, the Green Jacket took two down with his hatchets within the first 2 seconds of combat. A moment later, the third had one of the hatchets buried in his sternum. He fell gurgling, and the Green jacket retrieved his weapon without slowing down.
The 17th Maine crashed into the first line of tentages.
Chaos reigned. Men were everywhere, in various states of dress. Most were unarmed, and were shot or cut down instantly. Some of the officers who were still asleep after a night of merrymaking had their throats cut in their sleep. Already, the blue uniforms of the 17th were soaked in the blood of the slain.
As the enemy ran away from the vengeful Mainelanders,a few officers who were on duty the night before brought together a knot of their men, and gave them arms from a nearby weapons cache. The knot became a dozen, and within moments swelled to almost half a hundred men. In the heart of the retreating line, these fifty men stood their ground and waited as their sergeants pushed them into formation. Ahead of them, a tall, ebony clad officer of the Guards stood stock still as he waited for the Mainelanders to appear amongst the fleeing soldiers.
At the sight of the Green Jacket, a cry of dismay went up. Some men started to curse, others started to utter prayers to the Gods. Veteran Sergeants bawled for silence, but to no avail. The Green Jacket had come. Involuntarily, the column took a step back.
The Green Jacket slowed to a walk, then stopped altogether. His eyes were obscured by his hood, his lips a thin line beneath his compact nose. By his side, the twins were dripping blood, slowly being diluted by the light rain.
The Tall officer was brave. Where the men retreated, he stepped forward. With a gloved hand, he slowly drew his short curved sword and swept of his hat before throwing it to the side.
"You shall not pass, demon," rasped the tall officer,settling into a standard Guarda stance with his left foot forward, right foot back, and sword held two handed pointing straight at the Green Jacket. "We are not afraid of you."
The Green Jacket made a sound, a barely audible repetitive sound that sounded like he was crying. His shoulders started to shake as his head tilted forward. He was laughing.
With a strangled cry, the tall officer charged, his sword smoothly going into a high attack position that betrayed years of practice. The Green Jacket shuffled to his left, bringing up his right hatchet to block the coming blade. The officer let him block, and brought his left knee up into the Green Jackets midriff.
The Green Jacket rolled with the hit, came up in time to catch the falling blade on crossed hatchets. Another kick, this time into the inside of his right knee sent him kneeling hard on the turf. He dodged the follow up slash from the officer before turning hard and using his momentum to land a hit. The Ebony man wasnt there. He overbalanced and felt a searing pain as a blade cut into his side.
Rolling, he came up into a crouch, panting hard, trying to ignore the pain.
The Ebony man, resumed the Guarda Stance, and smiled at the read smear on his blade.
"This weapon is Siamese. Imbued with ancient magics, passed down through the line of the first born sons, it is called demon-killer," rasped the Tall officer. "And with it, I will end your reign of terror."
Wednesday, December 19, 2012
Thursday, March 01, 2012
again! again!
They appeared in my dreams again! At the same time?? What? At first I dreamt my elder brother jumped 20 storeys for some stunt show. Big deal. And then I met shai, and as we were walking down the stairs, I saw her. So I hurried away, and shai insisted we meet his best friend.
When we reached the bottom floor, shai started talking to her, and her friend, and I just stood to one side, just being awkward. Den suddenly she arrived, and my awkwardness became even more pronounced. And both their partners appeared, it was a supermarket, and the sense that both of them were getting married was immense. And I felt angry! Like as if I wanted to be those partners.
Its crap man. Total crap. I haven't met them, haven't thought about either one of them, but somehow they always make it into my dreams. Bloody hell. And I'm about to tie the knot in a few months and this bloody thing shad to happen.
Am I going to keep being bothered by them the rest of my life? There's always a feeling of what if when I dream this things and I frankly don't need it or want it. Fml. Now I'm feeling nauseous.
Need to do my essay man. And hope my feeling of crappiness dissipates soon.
When we reached the bottom floor, shai started talking to her, and her friend, and I just stood to one side, just being awkward. Den suddenly she arrived, and my awkwardness became even more pronounced. And both their partners appeared, it was a supermarket, and the sense that both of them were getting married was immense. And I felt angry! Like as if I wanted to be those partners.
Its crap man. Total crap. I haven't met them, haven't thought about either one of them, but somehow they always make it into my dreams. Bloody hell. And I'm about to tie the knot in a few months and this bloody thing shad to happen.
Am I going to keep being bothered by them the rest of my life? There's always a feeling of what if when I dream this things and I frankly don't need it or want it. Fml. Now I'm feeling nauseous.
Need to do my essay man. And hope my feeling of crappiness dissipates soon.
Thursday, December 08, 2011
Goodbye
I had a dream of her yesterday.
For the first time in so many years, I actually visualised her. In it, she was beautiful and she was shining, like she was so absolutely happy that nothing could make her sad. Yet she gave me a sad smile, and there were words, but I can't remember what they were.
I just felt a sadness and a feeling of goodbye.
A friend asked why I thought she was the perfect one for me. I just replied " in that 9 months we were together, I was always happy."
She's gone now, whereever she is. She added me on facebook a few months ago, but I adamantly refused to accept her friendship. I'm petty that way I guess, but I will never forgive her for leaving.
I still wonder why.
I might be happy that 9 months, but I've been miserable ever since. Hana and I have so much to bicker about, but when the chips are down and the friends refuse to help, I know she will always save me. She will always laugh at my jokes and she is patient with my idiosyncracies.
I traded the love of my life for my soulmate. And I have no qualms to say that Hana will always be my perfect partner.
Goodbye Mira. You were the most awesome gf a guy could ask for. But u never saw me as anything more than a means to an end. I was never anything but a passing chapter in your book.
May your future be blessed, and your love be pure. Because mine is.
Thinking of my bimbo princess so far away. Honey, enjoy ur trip ok.. I love u and I can't wait to spend the rest of my life with u.
Seba Duvall
For the first time in so many years, I actually visualised her. In it, she was beautiful and she was shining, like she was so absolutely happy that nothing could make her sad. Yet she gave me a sad smile, and there were words, but I can't remember what they were.
I just felt a sadness and a feeling of goodbye.
A friend asked why I thought she was the perfect one for me. I just replied " in that 9 months we were together, I was always happy."
She's gone now, whereever she is. She added me on facebook a few months ago, but I adamantly refused to accept her friendship. I'm petty that way I guess, but I will never forgive her for leaving.
I still wonder why.
I might be happy that 9 months, but I've been miserable ever since. Hana and I have so much to bicker about, but when the chips are down and the friends refuse to help, I know she will always save me. She will always laugh at my jokes and she is patient with my idiosyncracies.
I traded the love of my life for my soulmate. And I have no qualms to say that Hana will always be my perfect partner.
Goodbye Mira. You were the most awesome gf a guy could ask for. But u never saw me as anything more than a means to an end. I was never anything but a passing chapter in your book.
May your future be blessed, and your love be pure. Because mine is.
Thinking of my bimbo princess so far away. Honey, enjoy ur trip ok.. I love u and I can't wait to spend the rest of my life with u.
Seba Duvall
Sunday, April 25, 2010
Rage against the Machine
Pedalling never seemed so bloody hard siah. I just bought my bike, a second hand merida with sora parts at 700 with speedo meters added to the mix. It was frakking thrilling to be zooming around at 30-odd kmh, but right now im reaping what i Sow: my balls are aching! LOL
Im aiming to hit Sembawang Park and back next, before going further afield. Its nice to know that living in the north means you can go either east or west easily!
Im heading for my last brunei trip in mid-may. Good thing ill be able to celebrate my anniversary with my lovely partner Hana, and hopefully we'll last a lot longer than we're supposed to(since we were expected to last about a week together according to our supportive friends).
Im still aiming to finish the half marathon this year. Means i have to start clocking in mileage, and hopefully, hit at least 16 km before august. I think its doable? but need to have some sort of encouragement. Maybe those rock hard abs ive always wanted to have can be achieved once im fitter.
On the coaching front, i still have yet to get anything done. It looks pretty hard to get thru to the FAS, since they arent very clear on their webby. ill have to come up with a way to get thru to them..
:)
im moving forward! woo hoo!
Im aiming to hit Sembawang Park and back next, before going further afield. Its nice to know that living in the north means you can go either east or west easily!
Im heading for my last brunei trip in mid-may. Good thing ill be able to celebrate my anniversary with my lovely partner Hana, and hopefully we'll last a lot longer than we're supposed to(since we were expected to last about a week together according to our supportive friends).
Im still aiming to finish the half marathon this year. Means i have to start clocking in mileage, and hopefully, hit at least 16 km before august. I think its doable? but need to have some sort of encouragement. Maybe those rock hard abs ive always wanted to have can be achieved once im fitter.
On the coaching front, i still have yet to get anything done. It looks pretty hard to get thru to the FAS, since they arent very clear on their webby. ill have to come up with a way to get thru to them..
:)
im moving forward! woo hoo!
Saturday, March 27, 2010
Next step
Ive decided. Im going to teach.
Ive decided. Im going to coach football. Join Fifa. gotta go for my pre=lim license and my C coaching license first.
Because if i got it, ill be acheiving my COACH CARTER fantasy. haha
Ive decided. To stop deciding.
Ive decided. Im going to coach football. Join Fifa. gotta go for my pre=lim license and my C coaching license first.
Because if i got it, ill be acheiving my COACH CARTER fantasy. haha
Ive decided. To stop deciding.
Monday, December 28, 2009
Saturday, December 26, 2009
Dreams
Are they real? Are your futures fortold, your life documented in flashes of movie imagery, with the sole viewer being you and no one else?
Are they just impulses from the brain of what your subconcious really wants? Your innermost desires, your most darkest, most sadistic desires?
Are they metaphors, to allow you to see things that you are never meant to see? The secrets of life itself?
Or are they utter rubbish. Just another dosage of cosmic entertainment as you rest, the song you hear as the doors close and the lift moves to the next floor?
It was so real. I saw you, with someone else, and it hurt. I felt lost.
We were in a restaurant.
You told me that you can't be with me. That you left because you had your reasons, and that you were happy now.
And you said you couldn't bear my child.
Then the scene shifted. And it became her. And me. Her face was slightly older, slightly more world weary. But there was an enthusiasm that I had never seen before. She took my hand and placed it on her stomach. And then she said," don't worry. I will have your baby."
it felt so real.
But like I said. It's utter rubbish.
Are they just impulses from the brain of what your subconcious really wants? Your innermost desires, your most darkest, most sadistic desires?
Are they metaphors, to allow you to see things that you are never meant to see? The secrets of life itself?
Or are they utter rubbish. Just another dosage of cosmic entertainment as you rest, the song you hear as the doors close and the lift moves to the next floor?
It was so real. I saw you, with someone else, and it hurt. I felt lost.
We were in a restaurant.
You told me that you can't be with me. That you left because you had your reasons, and that you were happy now.
And you said you couldn't bear my child.
Then the scene shifted. And it became her. And me. Her face was slightly older, slightly more world weary. But there was an enthusiasm that I had never seen before. She took my hand and placed it on her stomach. And then she said," don't worry. I will have your baby."
it felt so real.
But like I said. It's utter rubbish.
Sunday, December 06, 2009
Something New?
Im in my fourth year of my Army life.. things are getting a little monotonous, a little guessable.. im going to be 24 next year, and im still unable to write anything on Ilyas.
Ive applied for SMU. and Ive applied to the American University of Richmond in the UK. Thats just a dream. I cant afford to pay 120k just to get a degree. But hell, it would be so much fun to go.
I want to travel again. I want to discover myself, because frankly, i havent found anything worthwhile about myself. I figured out that i am capable of the best and the worst things, and that i am never at ease or at peace with myself. I realise that I am the worst part of being Human. Hopefully, i can move on. Hopefully.
I dunnoe how im feeling. I dun want to know why im here. I just want to desroy everything thats good and real because it isnt.
so difficult to explain. So badly in need of an outlet. Here it is. And your still my muse.
Ive applied for SMU. and Ive applied to the American University of Richmond in the UK. Thats just a dream. I cant afford to pay 120k just to get a degree. But hell, it would be so much fun to go.
I want to travel again. I want to discover myself, because frankly, i havent found anything worthwhile about myself. I figured out that i am capable of the best and the worst things, and that i am never at ease or at peace with myself. I realise that I am the worst part of being Human. Hopefully, i can move on. Hopefully.
I dunnoe how im feeling. I dun want to know why im here. I just want to desroy everything thats good and real because it isnt.
so difficult to explain. So badly in need of an outlet. Here it is. And your still my muse.
Monday, September 07, 2009
Im doing my S.A.T.S
Can you believe it? I have no idea how im going to ace it, but its my shot to get into SMU and if it works, ill be on course to get my teaching license. Imagine that! :)
Thursday, August 27, 2009
Social Relationships
When a boy and a girl meet, sometimes certain emotions develope between them that draw them closer together regardless of background, age or any thing that looks remotely like sense. They talk more often, laugh together, and share some common views that they both agree on. Both these humans will slowly realise that each others presence is supremely important after awhile; hence one of them(usually the male) will come up with some random yet totally un-subtle way to meet, where the other person would agree even though its totally ridiculous to expect a girl to go shopping for goalkeeper gloves.
The magic truly starts to work when they meet for the first time. The first eye contact. The tentative smiles. The electrifying accidental touch that makes all sorts of crawly feeling on one's skin and the almost immediate apology. All this would help to build on a foundation that had already been built over those long nights of serious and probing discussions and help further a couple along towards something that many describe as "falling in love", in which case both parties must be utterly insane to willingly join together in a relationship that will not end well for either party.
Im not a cynic. Im just sick of swallowing my own saliva.
The magic truly starts to work when they meet for the first time. The first eye contact. The tentative smiles. The electrifying accidental touch that makes all sorts of crawly feeling on one's skin and the almost immediate apology. All this would help to build on a foundation that had already been built over those long nights of serious and probing discussions and help further a couple along towards something that many describe as "falling in love", in which case both parties must be utterly insane to willingly join together in a relationship that will not end well for either party.
Im not a cynic. Im just sick of swallowing my own saliva.
Monday, August 10, 2009
Sunday, July 05, 2009
102nd Post
Wow! I completely missed the century of posts so im here to celebrate!
Ive forgotten how to be a civilian. I mean, its all well and good that i book out alot and that i try to spend my weekends with friends and family. But the truth is, my memory is so much fuller since i got into the army. I have so many things to do, that theres alot of memorable moments vs those days where i would play my playstation2 from the time i woke up to the time i slept.
Being an officer has thought me many things. But most of all, it has thought me the importance of decisions.
so im going to decide to sleep now. hah.
Heres a glass to the next 100 posts..
Ive forgotten how to be a civilian. I mean, its all well and good that i book out alot and that i try to spend my weekends with friends and family. But the truth is, my memory is so much fuller since i got into the army. I have so many things to do, that theres alot of memorable moments vs those days where i would play my playstation2 from the time i woke up to the time i slept.
Being an officer has thought me many things. But most of all, it has thought me the importance of decisions.
so im going to decide to sleep now. hah.
Heres a glass to the next 100 posts..
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
Knee Deep in the Sea
If your familiar with first person shooters, you'd know that one's from Doom. The original FPS that had muliti-weapon arsenal, cool graphics and a bevy of monsters to take on that will never leave you bored. The reason why its the title for this is not because im blogging about it. Rather, i just like those few words, because evidentally, im knee deep in the sea of shit!
Thats right, ladies and Gents. I think its time you guys gave me the benefit of the doubt and just let me be. Please. I know how it looks and I frankly couldnt care less, but it affects us both and I would rather it just affect me. So if you have anything to say at all, say it to me. After all, I am the elder one here, so if anyone has anything to say feel free to knock on my door, but be aware that i might answer late, cos i can barely move my legs thru this dense concentration of faeces.
There are only 3 peoples opinion that matter. Hers. His. Him(the big guy). I love you guys. I would support you thru whatever you want to do, no matter how stupid or inane. I have laid down my time and my blood for you both, and I love you. If it hurts you im sorry. If it hurts the organisation, im sorry. I'm trying my best here, but all i get is shtick and i can take it, but she is finding it hard. So please. If not for me, then do it for her.
I know how it looks. She's young and part of our circle of friends, and im older, with a not very good track record. But why is it that im the bad one here? I just put myself out there you know? Ive been hurt so many times by the girls themselves, so why are you guys giving me a hard time as well? giving us?
Please. Im begging for all I am worth and, knowing that it doesnt amount to much, im begging some more. Please. Let us be. I can go on the whole day about how sorry I am, but like you said, its done. Neither of us saw it coming and when we both fell in it was too late to go back.
So please. Lend a helping hand to me cos the smell of shit is getting too strong.
Thats right, ladies and Gents. I think its time you guys gave me the benefit of the doubt and just let me be. Please. I know how it looks and I frankly couldnt care less, but it affects us both and I would rather it just affect me. So if you have anything to say at all, say it to me. After all, I am the elder one here, so if anyone has anything to say feel free to knock on my door, but be aware that i might answer late, cos i can barely move my legs thru this dense concentration of faeces.
There are only 3 peoples opinion that matter. Hers. His. Him(the big guy). I love you guys. I would support you thru whatever you want to do, no matter how stupid or inane. I have laid down my time and my blood for you both, and I love you. If it hurts you im sorry. If it hurts the organisation, im sorry. I'm trying my best here, but all i get is shtick and i can take it, but she is finding it hard. So please. If not for me, then do it for her.
I know how it looks. She's young and part of our circle of friends, and im older, with a not very good track record. But why is it that im the bad one here? I just put myself out there you know? Ive been hurt so many times by the girls themselves, so why are you guys giving me a hard time as well? giving us?
Please. Im begging for all I am worth and, knowing that it doesnt amount to much, im begging some more. Please. Let us be. I can go on the whole day about how sorry I am, but like you said, its done. Neither of us saw it coming and when we both fell in it was too late to go back.
So please. Lend a helping hand to me cos the smell of shit is getting too strong.
Monday, June 15, 2009
Growing old
Im getting so old.
You know that feeling when every decision you make has consequences? And im not talking about the rewards. Its just that i keep finding myself in these damned-if-you-do-damned-if-you-don't circumstances. They just seem to pop up everywhere. I mean, seriously, you cant make these stuff up.
Ive been trying so hard to steer clear of trouble, to steer clear of any dramatic mishaps that seem to love manifesting itself in my life. Ive got a stable job, stable friends, stable life( and i dont mean anything equestrian here) but my life is still so full of IT! I seem to attract trouble. its exactly what happens to Jackie Chan in all his movies. You know? Where he gets attacked for no reason and all he can say is "Leave me ah-lone!" as he whoops some ass. He's got this really scared shit-less look on his face even as he keeps saying "I don wanna no troubre!" and karate-ing every mean guy in sight.
Im not enjoying this. I just want a life thats simple and fulfilling, with a good job, a great wife, kids, a house by a lake, a mini cooper, some weird but cool neighbours plus a novel to work on and im all set to kick back and wait for death to embrace me. Carpe Nox. The end. Finito. But to find this singaporean dream is so tough. so painful. So wrought with torturing emotions and with unendurable actions, not to mention almost impossible because a good lake is hard to find here. I wish i didnt feel like i betrayed people i love. I wish i could hold on to my wealth for my future. I wish i could do what i really want to do instead of settling for a job that i dont see a future in.
I want to decide! I want to find a reason why! i want to satisfy my need to constantly think 3 times into the matter and arrive nowhere whilst trying to look confident and unperturbed, smiling and joking away. Im an oxymoron, a thinking man of action, a stupid genius, a tragic smile, all this and more!
But all i want to be is normal. With normal problems. normal solutions. Normal.
This entry is written for me as an end user. So i apologise when i say, "go figure".
You know that feeling when every decision you make has consequences? And im not talking about the rewards. Its just that i keep finding myself in these damned-if-you-do-damned-if-you-don't circumstances. They just seem to pop up everywhere. I mean, seriously, you cant make these stuff up.
Ive been trying so hard to steer clear of trouble, to steer clear of any dramatic mishaps that seem to love manifesting itself in my life. Ive got a stable job, stable friends, stable life( and i dont mean anything equestrian here) but my life is still so full of IT! I seem to attract trouble. its exactly what happens to Jackie Chan in all his movies. You know? Where he gets attacked for no reason and all he can say is "Leave me ah-lone!" as he whoops some ass. He's got this really scared shit-less look on his face even as he keeps saying "I don wanna no troubre!" and karate-ing every mean guy in sight.
Im not enjoying this. I just want a life thats simple and fulfilling, with a good job, a great wife, kids, a house by a lake, a mini cooper, some weird but cool neighbours plus a novel to work on and im all set to kick back and wait for death to embrace me. Carpe Nox. The end. Finito. But to find this singaporean dream is so tough. so painful. So wrought with torturing emotions and with unendurable actions, not to mention almost impossible because a good lake is hard to find here. I wish i didnt feel like i betrayed people i love. I wish i could hold on to my wealth for my future. I wish i could do what i really want to do instead of settling for a job that i dont see a future in.
I want to decide! I want to find a reason why! i want to satisfy my need to constantly think 3 times into the matter and arrive nowhere whilst trying to look confident and unperturbed, smiling and joking away. Im an oxymoron, a thinking man of action, a stupid genius, a tragic smile, all this and more!
But all i want to be is normal. With normal problems. normal solutions. Normal.
This entry is written for me as an end user. So i apologise when i say, "go figure".
Monday, April 13, 2009
Purpose
I feel better nowadays. More energetic. Life at work seems so much more happening, and i feel like throwing myself into my job. If only i can get off my ass, ill start, i promise.
Ive decided its 3 years is enough. I keep saying how much i love my job, but maybe, just maybe, its all an infinite lie designed to make me believe that i like doing this, that the money i earn is a great incentive, that im always trying to maintain my fitness and better my physique. That its all a good thing.
Of course it is. Im just losing everything else.
Relationships are overrated. Im saying this as someone who has been there and done that, as someone who has been hurt over and over, someone who is jaded, who still dares to dream. But right at this moment, i can safely say that i dun need to be in one right now. Period. Theres so many things i need to settle first, and throwing myself into another rollercoaster ride of emotions is just not going to work.
Ill prolly wait till i go crazy seeing kissy couples and marryied friends before ill think of getting back on that horse.
So what do we do when we fall? we pick ourselves up again. But unfortunately, ive broken both arms and legs, so i can only nod my attempt at getting up.
Those people who are in love? I salute u, and wish u all the best of luck. Everyone else who want to ram down the fact that ur love lifes the epitome, please, go talk to each other. Cos we singletons who confidentally believe tat our methods better dun wanna hear it.
But hey. What are friends for? hah.
Ive decided its 3 years is enough. I keep saying how much i love my job, but maybe, just maybe, its all an infinite lie designed to make me believe that i like doing this, that the money i earn is a great incentive, that im always trying to maintain my fitness and better my physique. That its all a good thing.
Of course it is. Im just losing everything else.
Relationships are overrated. Im saying this as someone who has been there and done that, as someone who has been hurt over and over, someone who is jaded, who still dares to dream. But right at this moment, i can safely say that i dun need to be in one right now. Period. Theres so many things i need to settle first, and throwing myself into another rollercoaster ride of emotions is just not going to work.
Ill prolly wait till i go crazy seeing kissy couples and marryied friends before ill think of getting back on that horse.
So what do we do when we fall? we pick ourselves up again. But unfortunately, ive broken both arms and legs, so i can only nod my attempt at getting up.
Those people who are in love? I salute u, and wish u all the best of luck. Everyone else who want to ram down the fact that ur love lifes the epitome, please, go talk to each other. Cos we singletons who confidentally believe tat our methods better dun wanna hear it.
But hey. What are friends for? hah.
Wednesday, April 01, 2009
Laughter
The greatest thing and the most rewarding thing I have ever done was to make my mother laugh.
Monday, March 16, 2009
Alice
Have you ever looked in the mirror and just smiled at yourself cos your so happy how far you've gone? A small smile of congratulations at your current situation, on the difference that you have made in the world? I do it quite often, actually. I see a nerdy, geeky guy with plenty of issues who has worked so very hard at bettering himself, improving himself so he can arrive at where he is now. A lonely boy who turned into an estranged teen who, finally, becomes a man.
I smile and i smile. And i realise, through the mirror, theres so many more things i have yet to achieve. That i am far from the finished product. That i have no idea where to go next, or how to progress so that i can find this ultimate Taufiq.
I know what i want. And its so embarrasing. Ive always known it, but ive never felt it this hard and heavy before. I always knew I was going to be good at that, but this urgency at wanting to achieve it? I dunnoe.
And im tired of multiple variables.
I smile and i smile. And i realise, through the mirror, theres so many more things i have yet to achieve. That i am far from the finished product. That i have no idea where to go next, or how to progress so that i can find this ultimate Taufiq.
I know what i want. And its so embarrasing. Ive always known it, but ive never felt it this hard and heavy before. I always knew I was going to be good at that, but this urgency at wanting to achieve it? I dunnoe.
And im tired of multiple variables.
Monday, March 09, 2009
Sunday, March 01, 2009
OMG!!
I spent the whole of saturday watching the last season of the OC.
Continued watching on sunday.
Finally found some time to skip out to get some blank dvds from the store.
Spent the next 5 hours burning CHUCK on dvd to watch at work.
Slept late to finish this. Woke up late. Burned summore.
Didnt bring it to work, cos its on MY FREAKIN' TABLE!!!
Im getting old. My memory is degenerating. I left my wallet in camp the last time i left work, and i keep issuing the wrong instructions to my guys. Either that, or my brain is being eaten by dream zombies..
Shite. This week looks ominous.
Continued watching on sunday.
Finally found some time to skip out to get some blank dvds from the store.
Spent the next 5 hours burning CHUCK on dvd to watch at work.
Slept late to finish this. Woke up late. Burned summore.
Didnt bring it to work, cos its on MY FREAKIN' TABLE!!!
Im getting old. My memory is degenerating. I left my wallet in camp the last time i left work, and i keep issuing the wrong instructions to my guys. Either that, or my brain is being eaten by dream zombies..
Shite. This week looks ominous.
Saturday, February 21, 2009
Everything
Your a falling star
Your the get away car
Your the line in the sand
When i go too far
Your the swimming pool
On my estate
Your the perfect thing to sing
And you play it coy
But its kinda cute
When you smile at me you know exactly what you do
Baby dont pretend,
That you dont know its true
That you can see it when i look at u
And in this crazy life, in this crazy times
Its you, its you, you make me sing,
Your every line, your every word
Your everything.
Im so tired nowadays. The fire inside doesnt seem to burn anymore cos everything seems murky. Expectations, objectives, plans. Everything seems to mean everything but mean nothing. How oxymoronic can u get?
I cant help but feel like im in a quaterlife crisis.
Your the get away car
Your the line in the sand
When i go too far
Your the swimming pool
On my estate
Your the perfect thing to sing
And you play it coy
But its kinda cute
When you smile at me you know exactly what you do
Baby dont pretend,
That you dont know its true
That you can see it when i look at u
And in this crazy life, in this crazy times
Its you, its you, you make me sing,
Your every line, your every word
Your everything.
Im so tired nowadays. The fire inside doesnt seem to burn anymore cos everything seems murky. Expectations, objectives, plans. Everything seems to mean everything but mean nothing. How oxymoronic can u get?
I cant help but feel like im in a quaterlife crisis.
Monday, February 16, 2009
The Ride of the Valkyrie
After watching this movie ive learnt a few things.
1)My Armour friend was telling me that if things start to falter in an operation, it always takes an Armour Officer to get things done.
2)Indecision kills. Literally.
3)A man is only a man when he makes a decision and sticks with it no matter what the consequence. That way, he's word is always true, and no one can take that away from him.
4)Hitler was either damn lucky or the rest were damn unlucky. Either way, we all knew how it was going to end.
5)Every operation has its cock ups. You can never run out of contingencies.
I liked Valkyrie. It reminded me of how the Romans used to try and oust the current government. It was always for the good of Rome, for the good of the people, for the good of the future. In fact, it normally meant for the good of the individual or a select few. In retrospect, we could say that the guys behind the plots to destroy Hitler were doing the right thing, but how could they have known that at that time? Everyone was still behind the regime. So how could this guys have the foresight to actually say " hey, i think this is wrong. I believe that i should not standby and let it happen." Without knowing what lay in the future, they put everything on the line to achieve the ideals and principles they stood for, believing what they were doing was right and just.
As Tommy puts it so eloquently in 'Snatch' as he points the gun to the head of the gangsta armed with a baseball bat, will i ever have the "minerals" to stick to my plan, no matter the cost?
Inshallah. God Willing.
Saturday, February 14, 2009
V-Day
A few things ive learnt today:-
1) v day isnt so bad when u spend it with friends. No matter how incredibly negative u feel.
2) i think ive dated too much cos one ex is attached to someone close to me while another is getting married to a cousin!
3) you can blog with the iphone!
4) no matter how bad things go, faith in your product is the most rewarding thing of all. Cos no matter what, theres always a chance of success. Apologies to all because i began to lose faith in everything. And everyone.
5) im not as funny as i thought.
6) im not as mature as i thought.
7) im wise enough to realise iM not very mature.
8) im taking the first steps in accomplishing the 3 tasks i set for myself!
Night all. Im all DONE for the day..
:D
1) v day isnt so bad when u spend it with friends. No matter how incredibly negative u feel.
2) i think ive dated too much cos one ex is attached to someone close to me while another is getting married to a cousin!
3) you can blog with the iphone!
4) no matter how bad things go, faith in your product is the most rewarding thing of all. Cos no matter what, theres always a chance of success. Apologies to all because i began to lose faith in everything. And everyone.
5) im not as funny as i thought.
6) im not as mature as i thought.
7) im wise enough to realise iM not very mature.
8) im taking the first steps in accomplishing the 3 tasks i set for myself!
Night all. Im all DONE for the day..
:D
Thursday, February 12, 2009
Musings
Ive been thinking.. Do things really change when u grow up? i mean, sure, when i was 10 i loved drinking kickapoo joy juice, you know that acidic yellow drink filled with nothing but sugar and caffeine? Now i dont really like it that much, perhaps a 4 out of ten?
A couple of years ago, i was presented with an opportunity that i knew i would miss if i blinked. So i didnt. Worked as best i can at it, only to find that in the end, i was just kidding myself that i would achieve that dream.
Some time ago, miracles of miracles, ANOTHER opportunity presented itself. Much of the same as the intitial one but with differing variables: i was older, wiser, had more experience in the field and I knew what it took to actually succeed in this endaevour. But no matter how hard i tried, twisting this way and that, patiently holding back the young enthusiastic buck who had all but died away, only to find the end result matching the earlier chance.
So, however much ive grown, have i really changed at all? I still look the same, albeit more leathery and haggard due to the exposure to the sun. Im still the same height, the same built, my hairs the same colour. But i know that ive changed. My eyes are different. My brain think in different patterns. My words are measured, still vulgar and abrasive at times, but gentle. I might not have become smarter but i definitely have become wiser. So why the same outcome?
I guess, in retrospect, my goals might have changed, but my reaction to certain subject matter,places and people are still the same. I might have dulled the foolish tongue, but even a blunt knife can kill. Im still the same person after all. Just slightly stronger, more patient, and more resilient.
I wont CMCF right now. Even though i want to. There is just no point. Its a waste of energy and will only lead to me being utterly shagged out. No. i will be patient, as is my wont. I will be disciplined, and i will not let this setback destroy the Zen that i have built over the past 2 years of my life.
hmmph. Sometimes im really Macam paham only.. haha..
A couple of years ago, i was presented with an opportunity that i knew i would miss if i blinked. So i didnt. Worked as best i can at it, only to find that in the end, i was just kidding myself that i would achieve that dream.
Some time ago, miracles of miracles, ANOTHER opportunity presented itself. Much of the same as the intitial one but with differing variables: i was older, wiser, had more experience in the field and I knew what it took to actually succeed in this endaevour. But no matter how hard i tried, twisting this way and that, patiently holding back the young enthusiastic buck who had all but died away, only to find the end result matching the earlier chance.
So, however much ive grown, have i really changed at all? I still look the same, albeit more leathery and haggard due to the exposure to the sun. Im still the same height, the same built, my hairs the same colour. But i know that ive changed. My eyes are different. My brain think in different patterns. My words are measured, still vulgar and abrasive at times, but gentle. I might not have become smarter but i definitely have become wiser. So why the same outcome?
I guess, in retrospect, my goals might have changed, but my reaction to certain subject matter,places and people are still the same. I might have dulled the foolish tongue, but even a blunt knife can kill. Im still the same person after all. Just slightly stronger, more patient, and more resilient.
I wont CMCF right now. Even though i want to. There is just no point. Its a waste of energy and will only lead to me being utterly shagged out. No. i will be patient, as is my wont. I will be disciplined, and i will not let this setback destroy the Zen that i have built over the past 2 years of my life.
hmmph. Sometimes im really Macam paham only.. haha..
Friday, January 23, 2009
Alright! Lets write!
"So, there i was just basically sitting there doing just nothing, and this guy comes up to me and says, you gotta be kidding me! and he jams this really ancient looking piece, and im talking ancient dinosauric with a capital D, right into my armpit and just laughs! Yeah, he just laughs! Its like he was a maniac or something!"
I wondered silently if it was a maniac with a capital M.
"So then i says to him.." Moe was determined to tell his story, but i could tell it was a believable as his rolex that had the numbers 3, 6, and 9 in roman numerals and totally poiting in the wrong directions.
"So you say to him."
"What?" Brows furrowed, brain trying to register this sentence but unfortunately, if his noggin was a register it was not a very big one. Or a very fast one. "That's what i said!"
"Nope, you said, 'So then, i says to him' dot dot dot," I said, underlining the dots with a dot on my notebook. "Its say. Present tense, singular."
Face getting redder now. Sweat bumps appearing among swarthy features and erupting down his grimy skin. Moe mouth opens and close for a few more times before he decided having it stay shut was the proper thing to do.
"Ok, Mr Turner. I just had a pretty long night. One of my clients just got threatened by her ex and I was up all night doing surveillance. I know your very enthusiastic, and this is the what.. 5th time your applying for this job?"
Moe looked affronted and held up seven fingers.
"Fine, 7th time. But i really need a proper assistant. someone who can work my file drawers, pull up leads from the streets while im up elsewhere, someone who can do surveillance while im trying to break in. I mean youve got nothing but your stories that you keep telling me are true!" Actually, i was pretty impressed with his record. Born in '98, he had served with the boys in flanders and was one of the few who came back with nary a gas mark. Recorded company marksman, fittest man in his platoon and seems to have been almost decorated with the congressional medal of honour, but he claimed it was someone else. The perfect guy for the team i was assembling.
But he just can't shut up!
"But they are true! The german put his piece in my armpit, started yelling crazy horse, so i smashed him in the face with a leftover under and he went willy-nilly over no mans land back to his mama's skirts! And i even got a little bit of him with me!" Moe took out an envelope from the inside of his jacket pocket and opened it. Inside was a small brownish lump that he shook onto his hand, before almost throwing it at me to let me see.
"See, thats his front teeth, the one I smashed in when he tried to bite me a little later!" His grin was crazy but winning, and when i say winning i mean like winning the bullet in Russian Roulette.
I waved my hand. "Ill think about it. Right now im really busy."
"Come one, boss!" He had whisked away the tooth and now had his hat in his hands. " ive got kids to feed, see? And the missus aint going to be too pleased if i dont get no job soon. She promised not to give me any whoopi if i dont get something together!"
i winced, got out of my chair and opened the door to my office with a bang. "Out! i dont want to hear about the ammoural adventures of the toad family! Ill think about it I said, and ill call on you if i need your services! Go!"
Moe put his hat on and morosely left, dragging his scuffed shoes over my persian carpet. He caught his hat in the chandlier that Monica bought me when we went to paris on our honeymoon, stumbled,tripped over Keejo, who was hidding under the divan the whole time and only choosing that perfect instant to dash out and have a sniff at Moe, who finally went head first through my window.
I put my head in my hands.
There was a sound of glass pieces being dropped on the floor as Moe extricated himself from the mess. " Im so.. so sorry, mister.."
"GET!"
I wondered silently if it was a maniac with a capital M.
"So then i says to him.." Moe was determined to tell his story, but i could tell it was a believable as his rolex that had the numbers 3, 6, and 9 in roman numerals and totally poiting in the wrong directions.
"So you say to him."
"What?" Brows furrowed, brain trying to register this sentence but unfortunately, if his noggin was a register it was not a very big one. Or a very fast one. "That's what i said!"
"Nope, you said, 'So then, i says to him' dot dot dot," I said, underlining the dots with a dot on my notebook. "Its say. Present tense, singular."
Face getting redder now. Sweat bumps appearing among swarthy features and erupting down his grimy skin. Moe mouth opens and close for a few more times before he decided having it stay shut was the proper thing to do.
"Ok, Mr Turner. I just had a pretty long night. One of my clients just got threatened by her ex and I was up all night doing surveillance. I know your very enthusiastic, and this is the what.. 5th time your applying for this job?"
Moe looked affronted and held up seven fingers.
"Fine, 7th time. But i really need a proper assistant. someone who can work my file drawers, pull up leads from the streets while im up elsewhere, someone who can do surveillance while im trying to break in. I mean youve got nothing but your stories that you keep telling me are true!" Actually, i was pretty impressed with his record. Born in '98, he had served with the boys in flanders and was one of the few who came back with nary a gas mark. Recorded company marksman, fittest man in his platoon and seems to have been almost decorated with the congressional medal of honour, but he claimed it was someone else. The perfect guy for the team i was assembling.
But he just can't shut up!
"But they are true! The german put his piece in my armpit, started yelling crazy horse, so i smashed him in the face with a leftover under and he went willy-nilly over no mans land back to his mama's skirts! And i even got a little bit of him with me!" Moe took out an envelope from the inside of his jacket pocket and opened it. Inside was a small brownish lump that he shook onto his hand, before almost throwing it at me to let me see.
"See, thats his front teeth, the one I smashed in when he tried to bite me a little later!" His grin was crazy but winning, and when i say winning i mean like winning the bullet in Russian Roulette.
I waved my hand. "Ill think about it. Right now im really busy."
"Come one, boss!" He had whisked away the tooth and now had his hat in his hands. " ive got kids to feed, see? And the missus aint going to be too pleased if i dont get no job soon. She promised not to give me any whoopi if i dont get something together!"
i winced, got out of my chair and opened the door to my office with a bang. "Out! i dont want to hear about the ammoural adventures of the toad family! Ill think about it I said, and ill call on you if i need your services! Go!"
Moe put his hat on and morosely left, dragging his scuffed shoes over my persian carpet. He caught his hat in the chandlier that Monica bought me when we went to paris on our honeymoon, stumbled,tripped over Keejo, who was hidding under the divan the whole time and only choosing that perfect instant to dash out and have a sniff at Moe, who finally went head first through my window.
I put my head in my hands.
There was a sound of glass pieces being dropped on the floor as Moe extricated himself from the mess. " Im so.. so sorry, mister.."
"GET!"
Monday, January 12, 2009
13
13 days after the new year, and things are kinda looking up.
Remember i said i might bollock up my new years eve? well i didnt, apparently, and it still turned out great. Completely missed the fireworks though, but it was kinda fun running into dome to surprise man(who wasnt really surprised, by the way) and playing a few hands of "Family business". It was fun, cos we all came up with nick names and mine was the Green Coat(no surprise there), Dhaniah was "Blind" Kelly, Aishah was Black widow, Yi Han was Doc Cheong, Yazid was RugRats(don't ask), Shai was the Godfather(even less of a surprise) shahdon was Don IvannaHumpalot(which was surprisingly funny!) and Man i christened as Don Mantero.. It was night full of laughs and i smile everytime i think about it.. It was friendship that had lasted for 4 years now, and still going strong.. :)
I rented a car for Shai's birthday bash and was well rewarded by getting saddled with the emcee job, which was kinda cool i suppose.. I did pretty well( at least that was what i was told lah) and i suppose i could take alot from that particular experience, seeing that i had absolutely no time to plan and just winged it all the goddamn way.. but it was fun and i kinda got the crowd joining in, so it was a success!
I had a few objectives to meet for the car, i mean I did pay 230 dollars for a beat up Swift, and if I didnt meet them i would have been pretty pissed off.
Haha. Good thing I accomplished every single one I set out to do. Even the hardest, most impossible one. 2009 is looking like a good year. :)
Remember i said i might bollock up my new years eve? well i didnt, apparently, and it still turned out great. Completely missed the fireworks though, but it was kinda fun running into dome to surprise man(who wasnt really surprised, by the way) and playing a few hands of "Family business". It was fun, cos we all came up with nick names and mine was the Green Coat(no surprise there), Dhaniah was "Blind" Kelly, Aishah was Black widow, Yi Han was Doc Cheong, Yazid was RugRats(don't ask), Shai was the Godfather(even less of a surprise) shahdon was Don IvannaHumpalot(which was surprisingly funny!) and Man i christened as Don Mantero.. It was night full of laughs and i smile everytime i think about it.. It was friendship that had lasted for 4 years now, and still going strong.. :)
I rented a car for Shai's birthday bash and was well rewarded by getting saddled with the emcee job, which was kinda cool i suppose.. I did pretty well( at least that was what i was told lah) and i suppose i could take alot from that particular experience, seeing that i had absolutely no time to plan and just winged it all the goddamn way.. but it was fun and i kinda got the crowd joining in, so it was a success!
I had a few objectives to meet for the car, i mean I did pay 230 dollars for a beat up Swift, and if I didnt meet them i would have been pretty pissed off.
Haha. Good thing I accomplished every single one I set out to do. Even the hardest, most impossible one. 2009 is looking like a good year. :)
Monday, December 29, 2008
New Year
Well. 2 more days to the new year. Woop di doo.
The way I see it, i have a choice: should i view this year in an optimistic way, or a crap negative way? Because in many cases, it fits both profiles very, very well.
I think back to the beginning of the year, and remembered how i started it. 2008 was a year of promise, career going well, had someone i was slowly falling for, and my family is as tightly knit as ever. Things seem pretty smooth sailing to me.
Someone told me that the way you spend New Years Eve is the way you were going to spend the new year. I think thats pretty bullshit lah. Here I am at the end of the year, and all i can think about are the negative thats happened.
But what if its the reverse? Say, if i had a totally bollocky new years eve, getting arrested by the cops for drink driving, find that my gf is making out with another guy, lose my commission, lose the ability to talk cock at a very fast pace, swallowing a piece of my shoe(wow. random.) even getting laughd at by my friends.. maybe its going to turn out better than expected! Maybe ill get rich or something, find nirvana, write a script that's worth millions, fall in love with the gal of my dreams, own a restaurant.. the positive things are endless! yes!
I shall do it! i Shall bollock up my new year!
Oh, who gives a fuck. I just wanna brood.
Happy New Year everyone. Ill be hiding in my bunk doing something really sad. Hah.
The way I see it, i have a choice: should i view this year in an optimistic way, or a crap negative way? Because in many cases, it fits both profiles very, very well.
I think back to the beginning of the year, and remembered how i started it. 2008 was a year of promise, career going well, had someone i was slowly falling for, and my family is as tightly knit as ever. Things seem pretty smooth sailing to me.
Someone told me that the way you spend New Years Eve is the way you were going to spend the new year. I think thats pretty bullshit lah. Here I am at the end of the year, and all i can think about are the negative thats happened.
But what if its the reverse? Say, if i had a totally bollocky new years eve, getting arrested by the cops for drink driving, find that my gf is making out with another guy, lose my commission, lose the ability to talk cock at a very fast pace, swallowing a piece of my shoe(wow. random.) even getting laughd at by my friends.. maybe its going to turn out better than expected! Maybe ill get rich or something, find nirvana, write a script that's worth millions, fall in love with the gal of my dreams, own a restaurant.. the positive things are endless! yes!
I shall do it! i Shall bollock up my new year!
Oh, who gives a fuck. I just wanna brood.
Happy New Year everyone. Ill be hiding in my bunk doing something really sad. Hah.
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
Terence Lee- An old classmate
For five years I've known you, yet we've became as strangers, oblivious to each other's presence.
There were times you shared, your sorrows and pains, your struggles and your weaknesses, but what did it amount to?
With silence you killed me and this relationship, pretending I'm a stranger.
Silence is lethal, it means nothing, yet says so much.
It causes the mind to go crazy, to speculate, and obliterate.
It says, "leave me alone!" Yet causes the heart to grow ever fonder.
Silence is a knife, cutting without a sound, splitting without much fuss.
It is potent, effective, yet empty at the same time.
It whispers "go no farther" to a car speeding at a hundred miles an hour.
Perhaps it's not me, but yourself, or the institution, that's causing you to feel this way.
Maybe you feel guilty, embaressed, or non-chalant.
Maybe you feel angry, sad, and disappointed.
Maybe it's disillusionment, disgust, and utter shame.
A thousand maybes, all the fruit of your silence.
Why do this to me, and to many others?
What irony, in the age of social networking, that you are silent yet loud at the same time.
Your Facebook profile screams at me, inviting me to peek into your life.
From personal to impersonal, your smile fades, your joy reeks, it disgusts me.
What hides behind that smile? Is it unbridled joy, endless sorrow, or something in between?
Your presence is an insult, a constant shadow, chasing me into my dreams.
It's time to let you go, yet it's so hard.
Maybe we will meet someday again, and I wish you success.
May you find happiness in your pursuits, and will you please reach your dreams for me?
Should you leave these shores, may you not forget yourself.
Someday, maybe, we will meet.
May God be with you.
Courtesy of Senhor Terence Lee, an ex-classmate with flair for the liguistics.
There were times you shared, your sorrows and pains, your struggles and your weaknesses, but what did it amount to?
With silence you killed me and this relationship, pretending I'm a stranger.
Silence is lethal, it means nothing, yet says so much.
It causes the mind to go crazy, to speculate, and obliterate.
It says, "leave me alone!" Yet causes the heart to grow ever fonder.
Silence is a knife, cutting without a sound, splitting without much fuss.
It is potent, effective, yet empty at the same time.
It whispers "go no farther" to a car speeding at a hundred miles an hour.
Perhaps it's not me, but yourself, or the institution, that's causing you to feel this way.
Maybe you feel guilty, embaressed, or non-chalant.
Maybe you feel angry, sad, and disappointed.
Maybe it's disillusionment, disgust, and utter shame.
A thousand maybes, all the fruit of your silence.
Why do this to me, and to many others?
What irony, in the age of social networking, that you are silent yet loud at the same time.
Your Facebook profile screams at me, inviting me to peek into your life.
From personal to impersonal, your smile fades, your joy reeks, it disgusts me.
What hides behind that smile? Is it unbridled joy, endless sorrow, or something in between?
Your presence is an insult, a constant shadow, chasing me into my dreams.
It's time to let you go, yet it's so hard.
Maybe we will meet someday again, and I wish you success.
May you find happiness in your pursuits, and will you please reach your dreams for me?
Should you leave these shores, may you not forget yourself.
Someday, maybe, we will meet.
May God be with you.
Courtesy of Senhor Terence Lee, an ex-classmate with flair for the liguistics.
Tuesday, December 09, 2008
I need a target
Oh well, things are pretty peachy for now. Just got my license, and been driving around like a crazy person for the past few days(crazy as in crazy BUT safe). Took leave for today so i cud relax abit and use up some of that un-used leave thats been accumulating.
Also, on another front, just did Judgement day and i just wanted to say how boring it was.. haha.. it was pretty straight forward lah, and i need a story with more twist than that.. It was too errmm.. serious for me.. but the cast and audience were really cool, so im good.
I want to welcome Shahdon back. Missed his orc laughter but now he's back, its just non-stop laughs. Im beginning to miss hanging with Yazid too, tho if things go as i see it, i could potentially see him everyday in camp(which is too lame for my taste :) )
Nearly got the car towed away on sunday, cos i totally forgot about the Standard Chart marathon. They had already set up, the tow truck was poised behind my car, and the cisco guys were already gesturing to each other about how to go about towing the car away. Luckily i got there in time after running my own marathon with zallie and hamad.. haha.. That was lucky!
I really need a target. or at least something to look forward too. Suddenly, everything feels so out of focus, theres no more joy in anything. I feel like a zombie sometimes. Going thru the motions. There doesnt seem to be anything that can cheer me up from this funk, and the more I try, the less i want to continue trying.
Maybe ill go get myself my own car. then i wont mope around quite so much. haha.
:)
OH and YAH! Do visit our new webby!
http://iwantayellowchair.com/
to get updates of our productions, past, future and present..
Also, on another front, just did Judgement day and i just wanted to say how boring it was.. haha.. it was pretty straight forward lah, and i need a story with more twist than that.. It was too errmm.. serious for me.. but the cast and audience were really cool, so im good.
I want to welcome Shahdon back. Missed his orc laughter but now he's back, its just non-stop laughs. Im beginning to miss hanging with Yazid too, tho if things go as i see it, i could potentially see him everyday in camp(which is too lame for my taste :) )
Nearly got the car towed away on sunday, cos i totally forgot about the Standard Chart marathon. They had already set up, the tow truck was poised behind my car, and the cisco guys were already gesturing to each other about how to go about towing the car away. Luckily i got there in time after running my own marathon with zallie and hamad.. haha.. That was lucky!
I really need a target. or at least something to look forward too. Suddenly, everything feels so out of focus, theres no more joy in anything. I feel like a zombie sometimes. Going thru the motions. There doesnt seem to be anything that can cheer me up from this funk, and the more I try, the less i want to continue trying.
Maybe ill go get myself my own car. then i wont mope around quite so much. haha.
:)
OH and YAH! Do visit our new webby!
http://iwantayellowchair.com/
to get updates of our productions, past, future and present..
Friday, December 05, 2008
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
Eddie Izzard on Star wars Cantina
hahahah... This is a made up scene with lego characters based on Eddie Izzards Stand up. It cracked me up just watching it. For those people prefering to see the original, its the second Video. Enjoy! :)
ORIGINAL!
ORIGINAL!
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