Confirming ground

In case your wondering, the title for this entry is an action one takes when he is navigating and needs to look around to find out wheere he is exactly on the map. So here i am, confirming ground on my life so far.

I keep track with the blogs of my drama pals( yaz, sha, and shai) and i feel how far im walking away from my previous life. here its all striving, fighting sleep, fighting exhaustion, fighting lazyness and boredom. Time seems lost as one digs a shellscrape, run 2.4 km within 10 mins, march 16 km with blistered feet and sprained ankle. I remember those times i would while away the hours with loved ones(ie: PS2.. haha.. jk, dear) while the day remained sultry and the cool breeze made you sigh.

I remember eating anything i wanted, smoking anytime i felt like, having the choice to run or sleep and play lan when i felt like thrashing Yazid(riiittteee...). I miss those days.

I read Yazids blog, and as much as i dun really noe abang azroy, i envy him the time he has to go have lunch with him. I see the auditions, and i feel the pang of being there only 5 hours out of the total 18. I mean, i should have contributed much more, but the only thing i contributed was my presence. Was it enough?

I have 3 more years of this. Is that really wat i want? To be in green, to kill and be killed for that one bar, and for the 27 men behind me. For the red and white and the moon and stars. For my family. For all the families.

All these require sacrifices. All this takes time, patience and practice.

I love you all out there. Ill come out a better man, inshallah.

Its time to fall in again. See you soon.