I feel better nowadays. More energetic. Life at work seems so much more happening, and i feel like throwing myself into my job. If only i can get off my ass, ill start, i promise.
Ive decided its 3 years is enough. I keep saying how much i love my job, but maybe, just maybe, its all an infinite lie designed to make me believe that i like doing this, that the money i earn is a great incentive, that im always trying to maintain my fitness and better my physique. That its all a good thing.
Of course it is. Im just losing everything else.
Relationships are overrated. Im saying this as someone who has been there and done that, as someone who has been hurt over and over, someone who is jaded, who still dares to dream. But right at this moment, i can safely say that i dun need to be in one right now. Period. Theres so many things i need to settle first, and throwing myself into another rollercoaster ride of emotions is just not going to work.
Ill prolly wait till i go crazy seeing kissy couples and marryied friends before ill think of getting back on that horse.
So what do we do when we fall? we pick ourselves up again. But unfortunately, ive broken both arms and legs, so i can only nod my attempt at getting up.
Those people who are in love? I salute u, and wish u all the best of luck. Everyone else who want to ram down the fact that ur love lifes the epitome, please, go talk to each other. Cos we singletons who confidentally believe tat our methods better dun wanna hear it.
But hey. What are friends for? hah.
Monday, April 13, 2009
Wednesday, April 01, 2009
Laughter
The greatest thing and the most rewarding thing I have ever done was to make my mother laugh.
Monday, March 16, 2009
Alice
Have you ever looked in the mirror and just smiled at yourself cos your so happy how far you've gone? A small smile of congratulations at your current situation, on the difference that you have made in the world? I do it quite often, actually. I see a nerdy, geeky guy with plenty of issues who has worked so very hard at bettering himself, improving himself so he can arrive at where he is now. A lonely boy who turned into an estranged teen who, finally, becomes a man.
I smile and i smile. And i realise, through the mirror, theres so many more things i have yet to achieve. That i am far from the finished product. That i have no idea where to go next, or how to progress so that i can find this ultimate Taufiq.
I know what i want. And its so embarrasing. Ive always known it, but ive never felt it this hard and heavy before. I always knew I was going to be good at that, but this urgency at wanting to achieve it? I dunnoe.
And im tired of multiple variables.
I smile and i smile. And i realise, through the mirror, theres so many more things i have yet to achieve. That i am far from the finished product. That i have no idea where to go next, or how to progress so that i can find this ultimate Taufiq.
I know what i want. And its so embarrasing. Ive always known it, but ive never felt it this hard and heavy before. I always knew I was going to be good at that, but this urgency at wanting to achieve it? I dunnoe.
And im tired of multiple variables.
Monday, March 09, 2009
Sunday, March 01, 2009
OMG!!
I spent the whole of saturday watching the last season of the OC.
Continued watching on sunday.
Finally found some time to skip out to get some blank dvds from the store.
Spent the next 5 hours burning CHUCK on dvd to watch at work.
Slept late to finish this. Woke up late. Burned summore.
Didnt bring it to work, cos its on MY FREAKIN' TABLE!!!
Im getting old. My memory is degenerating. I left my wallet in camp the last time i left work, and i keep issuing the wrong instructions to my guys. Either that, or my brain is being eaten by dream zombies..
Shite. This week looks ominous.
Continued watching on sunday.
Finally found some time to skip out to get some blank dvds from the store.
Spent the next 5 hours burning CHUCK on dvd to watch at work.
Slept late to finish this. Woke up late. Burned summore.
Didnt bring it to work, cos its on MY FREAKIN' TABLE!!!
Im getting old. My memory is degenerating. I left my wallet in camp the last time i left work, and i keep issuing the wrong instructions to my guys. Either that, or my brain is being eaten by dream zombies..
Shite. This week looks ominous.
Saturday, February 21, 2009
Everything
Your a falling star
Your the get away car
Your the line in the sand
When i go too far
Your the swimming pool
On my estate
Your the perfect thing to sing
And you play it coy
But its kinda cute
When you smile at me you know exactly what you do
Baby dont pretend,
That you dont know its true
That you can see it when i look at u
And in this crazy life, in this crazy times
Its you, its you, you make me sing,
Your every line, your every word
Your everything.
Im so tired nowadays. The fire inside doesnt seem to burn anymore cos everything seems murky. Expectations, objectives, plans. Everything seems to mean everything but mean nothing. How oxymoronic can u get?
I cant help but feel like im in a quaterlife crisis.
Your the get away car
Your the line in the sand
When i go too far
Your the swimming pool
On my estate
Your the perfect thing to sing
And you play it coy
But its kinda cute
When you smile at me you know exactly what you do
Baby dont pretend,
That you dont know its true
That you can see it when i look at u
And in this crazy life, in this crazy times
Its you, its you, you make me sing,
Your every line, your every word
Your everything.
Im so tired nowadays. The fire inside doesnt seem to burn anymore cos everything seems murky. Expectations, objectives, plans. Everything seems to mean everything but mean nothing. How oxymoronic can u get?
I cant help but feel like im in a quaterlife crisis.
Monday, February 16, 2009
The Ride of the Valkyrie
After watching this movie ive learnt a few things.
1)My Armour friend was telling me that if things start to falter in an operation, it always takes an Armour Officer to get things done.
2)Indecision kills. Literally.
3)A man is only a man when he makes a decision and sticks with it no matter what the consequence. That way, he's word is always true, and no one can take that away from him.
4)Hitler was either damn lucky or the rest were damn unlucky. Either way, we all knew how it was going to end.
5)Every operation has its cock ups. You can never run out of contingencies.
I liked Valkyrie. It reminded me of how the Romans used to try and oust the current government. It was always for the good of Rome, for the good of the people, for the good of the future. In fact, it normally meant for the good of the individual or a select few. In retrospect, we could say that the guys behind the plots to destroy Hitler were doing the right thing, but how could they have known that at that time? Everyone was still behind the regime. So how could this guys have the foresight to actually say " hey, i think this is wrong. I believe that i should not standby and let it happen." Without knowing what lay in the future, they put everything on the line to achieve the ideals and principles they stood for, believing what they were doing was right and just.
As Tommy puts it so eloquently in 'Snatch' as he points the gun to the head of the gangsta armed with a baseball bat, will i ever have the "minerals" to stick to my plan, no matter the cost?
Inshallah. God Willing.
Saturday, February 14, 2009
V-Day
A few things ive learnt today:-
1) v day isnt so bad when u spend it with friends. No matter how incredibly negative u feel.
2) i think ive dated too much cos one ex is attached to someone close to me while another is getting married to a cousin!
3) you can blog with the iphone!
4) no matter how bad things go, faith in your product is the most rewarding thing of all. Cos no matter what, theres always a chance of success. Apologies to all because i began to lose faith in everything. And everyone.
5) im not as funny as i thought.
6) im not as mature as i thought.
7) im wise enough to realise iM not very mature.
8) im taking the first steps in accomplishing the 3 tasks i set for myself!
Night all. Im all DONE for the day..
:D
1) v day isnt so bad when u spend it with friends. No matter how incredibly negative u feel.
2) i think ive dated too much cos one ex is attached to someone close to me while another is getting married to a cousin!
3) you can blog with the iphone!
4) no matter how bad things go, faith in your product is the most rewarding thing of all. Cos no matter what, theres always a chance of success. Apologies to all because i began to lose faith in everything. And everyone.
5) im not as funny as i thought.
6) im not as mature as i thought.
7) im wise enough to realise iM not very mature.
8) im taking the first steps in accomplishing the 3 tasks i set for myself!
Night all. Im all DONE for the day..
:D
Thursday, February 12, 2009
Musings
Ive been thinking.. Do things really change when u grow up? i mean, sure, when i was 10 i loved drinking kickapoo joy juice, you know that acidic yellow drink filled with nothing but sugar and caffeine? Now i dont really like it that much, perhaps a 4 out of ten?
A couple of years ago, i was presented with an opportunity that i knew i would miss if i blinked. So i didnt. Worked as best i can at it, only to find that in the end, i was just kidding myself that i would achieve that dream.
Some time ago, miracles of miracles, ANOTHER opportunity presented itself. Much of the same as the intitial one but with differing variables: i was older, wiser, had more experience in the field and I knew what it took to actually succeed in this endaevour. But no matter how hard i tried, twisting this way and that, patiently holding back the young enthusiastic buck who had all but died away, only to find the end result matching the earlier chance.
So, however much ive grown, have i really changed at all? I still look the same, albeit more leathery and haggard due to the exposure to the sun. Im still the same height, the same built, my hairs the same colour. But i know that ive changed. My eyes are different. My brain think in different patterns. My words are measured, still vulgar and abrasive at times, but gentle. I might not have become smarter but i definitely have become wiser. So why the same outcome?
I guess, in retrospect, my goals might have changed, but my reaction to certain subject matter,places and people are still the same. I might have dulled the foolish tongue, but even a blunt knife can kill. Im still the same person after all. Just slightly stronger, more patient, and more resilient.
I wont CMCF right now. Even though i want to. There is just no point. Its a waste of energy and will only lead to me being utterly shagged out. No. i will be patient, as is my wont. I will be disciplined, and i will not let this setback destroy the Zen that i have built over the past 2 years of my life.
hmmph. Sometimes im really Macam paham only.. haha..
A couple of years ago, i was presented with an opportunity that i knew i would miss if i blinked. So i didnt. Worked as best i can at it, only to find that in the end, i was just kidding myself that i would achieve that dream.
Some time ago, miracles of miracles, ANOTHER opportunity presented itself. Much of the same as the intitial one but with differing variables: i was older, wiser, had more experience in the field and I knew what it took to actually succeed in this endaevour. But no matter how hard i tried, twisting this way and that, patiently holding back the young enthusiastic buck who had all but died away, only to find the end result matching the earlier chance.
So, however much ive grown, have i really changed at all? I still look the same, albeit more leathery and haggard due to the exposure to the sun. Im still the same height, the same built, my hairs the same colour. But i know that ive changed. My eyes are different. My brain think in different patterns. My words are measured, still vulgar and abrasive at times, but gentle. I might not have become smarter but i definitely have become wiser. So why the same outcome?
I guess, in retrospect, my goals might have changed, but my reaction to certain subject matter,places and people are still the same. I might have dulled the foolish tongue, but even a blunt knife can kill. Im still the same person after all. Just slightly stronger, more patient, and more resilient.
I wont CMCF right now. Even though i want to. There is just no point. Its a waste of energy and will only lead to me being utterly shagged out. No. i will be patient, as is my wont. I will be disciplined, and i will not let this setback destroy the Zen that i have built over the past 2 years of my life.
hmmph. Sometimes im really Macam paham only.. haha..
Friday, January 23, 2009
Alright! Lets write!
"So, there i was just basically sitting there doing just nothing, and this guy comes up to me and says, you gotta be kidding me! and he jams this really ancient looking piece, and im talking ancient dinosauric with a capital D, right into my armpit and just laughs! Yeah, he just laughs! Its like he was a maniac or something!"
I wondered silently if it was a maniac with a capital M.
"So then i says to him.." Moe was determined to tell his story, but i could tell it was a believable as his rolex that had the numbers 3, 6, and 9 in roman numerals and totally poiting in the wrong directions.
"So you say to him."
"What?" Brows furrowed, brain trying to register this sentence but unfortunately, if his noggin was a register it was not a very big one. Or a very fast one. "That's what i said!"
"Nope, you said, 'So then, i says to him' dot dot dot," I said, underlining the dots with a dot on my notebook. "Its say. Present tense, singular."
Face getting redder now. Sweat bumps appearing among swarthy features and erupting down his grimy skin. Moe mouth opens and close for a few more times before he decided having it stay shut was the proper thing to do.
"Ok, Mr Turner. I just had a pretty long night. One of my clients just got threatened by her ex and I was up all night doing surveillance. I know your very enthusiastic, and this is the what.. 5th time your applying for this job?"
Moe looked affronted and held up seven fingers.
"Fine, 7th time. But i really need a proper assistant. someone who can work my file drawers, pull up leads from the streets while im up elsewhere, someone who can do surveillance while im trying to break in. I mean youve got nothing but your stories that you keep telling me are true!" Actually, i was pretty impressed with his record. Born in '98, he had served with the boys in flanders and was one of the few who came back with nary a gas mark. Recorded company marksman, fittest man in his platoon and seems to have been almost decorated with the congressional medal of honour, but he claimed it was someone else. The perfect guy for the team i was assembling.
But he just can't shut up!
"But they are true! The german put his piece in my armpit, started yelling crazy horse, so i smashed him in the face with a leftover under and he went willy-nilly over no mans land back to his mama's skirts! And i even got a little bit of him with me!" Moe took out an envelope from the inside of his jacket pocket and opened it. Inside was a small brownish lump that he shook onto his hand, before almost throwing it at me to let me see.
"See, thats his front teeth, the one I smashed in when he tried to bite me a little later!" His grin was crazy but winning, and when i say winning i mean like winning the bullet in Russian Roulette.
I waved my hand. "Ill think about it. Right now im really busy."
"Come one, boss!" He had whisked away the tooth and now had his hat in his hands. " ive got kids to feed, see? And the missus aint going to be too pleased if i dont get no job soon. She promised not to give me any whoopi if i dont get something together!"
i winced, got out of my chair and opened the door to my office with a bang. "Out! i dont want to hear about the ammoural adventures of the toad family! Ill think about it I said, and ill call on you if i need your services! Go!"
Moe put his hat on and morosely left, dragging his scuffed shoes over my persian carpet. He caught his hat in the chandlier that Monica bought me when we went to paris on our honeymoon, stumbled,tripped over Keejo, who was hidding under the divan the whole time and only choosing that perfect instant to dash out and have a sniff at Moe, who finally went head first through my window.
I put my head in my hands.
There was a sound of glass pieces being dropped on the floor as Moe extricated himself from the mess. " Im so.. so sorry, mister.."
"GET!"
I wondered silently if it was a maniac with a capital M.
"So then i says to him.." Moe was determined to tell his story, but i could tell it was a believable as his rolex that had the numbers 3, 6, and 9 in roman numerals and totally poiting in the wrong directions.
"So you say to him."
"What?" Brows furrowed, brain trying to register this sentence but unfortunately, if his noggin was a register it was not a very big one. Or a very fast one. "That's what i said!"
"Nope, you said, 'So then, i says to him' dot dot dot," I said, underlining the dots with a dot on my notebook. "Its say. Present tense, singular."
Face getting redder now. Sweat bumps appearing among swarthy features and erupting down his grimy skin. Moe mouth opens and close for a few more times before he decided having it stay shut was the proper thing to do.
"Ok, Mr Turner. I just had a pretty long night. One of my clients just got threatened by her ex and I was up all night doing surveillance. I know your very enthusiastic, and this is the what.. 5th time your applying for this job?"
Moe looked affronted and held up seven fingers.
"Fine, 7th time. But i really need a proper assistant. someone who can work my file drawers, pull up leads from the streets while im up elsewhere, someone who can do surveillance while im trying to break in. I mean youve got nothing but your stories that you keep telling me are true!" Actually, i was pretty impressed with his record. Born in '98, he had served with the boys in flanders and was one of the few who came back with nary a gas mark. Recorded company marksman, fittest man in his platoon and seems to have been almost decorated with the congressional medal of honour, but he claimed it was someone else. The perfect guy for the team i was assembling.
But he just can't shut up!
"But they are true! The german put his piece in my armpit, started yelling crazy horse, so i smashed him in the face with a leftover under and he went willy-nilly over no mans land back to his mama's skirts! And i even got a little bit of him with me!" Moe took out an envelope from the inside of his jacket pocket and opened it. Inside was a small brownish lump that he shook onto his hand, before almost throwing it at me to let me see.
"See, thats his front teeth, the one I smashed in when he tried to bite me a little later!" His grin was crazy but winning, and when i say winning i mean like winning the bullet in Russian Roulette.
I waved my hand. "Ill think about it. Right now im really busy."
"Come one, boss!" He had whisked away the tooth and now had his hat in his hands. " ive got kids to feed, see? And the missus aint going to be too pleased if i dont get no job soon. She promised not to give me any whoopi if i dont get something together!"
i winced, got out of my chair and opened the door to my office with a bang. "Out! i dont want to hear about the ammoural adventures of the toad family! Ill think about it I said, and ill call on you if i need your services! Go!"
Moe put his hat on and morosely left, dragging his scuffed shoes over my persian carpet. He caught his hat in the chandlier that Monica bought me when we went to paris on our honeymoon, stumbled,tripped over Keejo, who was hidding under the divan the whole time and only choosing that perfect instant to dash out and have a sniff at Moe, who finally went head first through my window.
I put my head in my hands.
There was a sound of glass pieces being dropped on the floor as Moe extricated himself from the mess. " Im so.. so sorry, mister.."
"GET!"
Monday, January 12, 2009
13
13 days after the new year, and things are kinda looking up.
Remember i said i might bollock up my new years eve? well i didnt, apparently, and it still turned out great. Completely missed the fireworks though, but it was kinda fun running into dome to surprise man(who wasnt really surprised, by the way) and playing a few hands of "Family business". It was fun, cos we all came up with nick names and mine was the Green Coat(no surprise there), Dhaniah was "Blind" Kelly, Aishah was Black widow, Yi Han was Doc Cheong, Yazid was RugRats(don't ask), Shai was the Godfather(even less of a surprise) shahdon was Don IvannaHumpalot(which was surprisingly funny!) and Man i christened as Don Mantero.. It was night full of laughs and i smile everytime i think about it.. It was friendship that had lasted for 4 years now, and still going strong.. :)
I rented a car for Shai's birthday bash and was well rewarded by getting saddled with the emcee job, which was kinda cool i suppose.. I did pretty well( at least that was what i was told lah) and i suppose i could take alot from that particular experience, seeing that i had absolutely no time to plan and just winged it all the goddamn way.. but it was fun and i kinda got the crowd joining in, so it was a success!
I had a few objectives to meet for the car, i mean I did pay 230 dollars for a beat up Swift, and if I didnt meet them i would have been pretty pissed off.
Haha. Good thing I accomplished every single one I set out to do. Even the hardest, most impossible one. 2009 is looking like a good year. :)
Remember i said i might bollock up my new years eve? well i didnt, apparently, and it still turned out great. Completely missed the fireworks though, but it was kinda fun running into dome to surprise man(who wasnt really surprised, by the way) and playing a few hands of "Family business". It was fun, cos we all came up with nick names and mine was the Green Coat(no surprise there), Dhaniah was "Blind" Kelly, Aishah was Black widow, Yi Han was Doc Cheong, Yazid was RugRats(don't ask), Shai was the Godfather(even less of a surprise) shahdon was Don IvannaHumpalot(which was surprisingly funny!) and Man i christened as Don Mantero.. It was night full of laughs and i smile everytime i think about it.. It was friendship that had lasted for 4 years now, and still going strong.. :)
I rented a car for Shai's birthday bash and was well rewarded by getting saddled with the emcee job, which was kinda cool i suppose.. I did pretty well( at least that was what i was told lah) and i suppose i could take alot from that particular experience, seeing that i had absolutely no time to plan and just winged it all the goddamn way.. but it was fun and i kinda got the crowd joining in, so it was a success!
I had a few objectives to meet for the car, i mean I did pay 230 dollars for a beat up Swift, and if I didnt meet them i would have been pretty pissed off.
Haha. Good thing I accomplished every single one I set out to do. Even the hardest, most impossible one. 2009 is looking like a good year. :)
Monday, December 29, 2008
New Year
Well. 2 more days to the new year. Woop di doo.
The way I see it, i have a choice: should i view this year in an optimistic way, or a crap negative way? Because in many cases, it fits both profiles very, very well.
I think back to the beginning of the year, and remembered how i started it. 2008 was a year of promise, career going well, had someone i was slowly falling for, and my family is as tightly knit as ever. Things seem pretty smooth sailing to me.
Someone told me that the way you spend New Years Eve is the way you were going to spend the new year. I think thats pretty bullshit lah. Here I am at the end of the year, and all i can think about are the negative thats happened.
But what if its the reverse? Say, if i had a totally bollocky new years eve, getting arrested by the cops for drink driving, find that my gf is making out with another guy, lose my commission, lose the ability to talk cock at a very fast pace, swallowing a piece of my shoe(wow. random.) even getting laughd at by my friends.. maybe its going to turn out better than expected! Maybe ill get rich or something, find nirvana, write a script that's worth millions, fall in love with the gal of my dreams, own a restaurant.. the positive things are endless! yes!
I shall do it! i Shall bollock up my new year!
Oh, who gives a fuck. I just wanna brood.
Happy New Year everyone. Ill be hiding in my bunk doing something really sad. Hah.
The way I see it, i have a choice: should i view this year in an optimistic way, or a crap negative way? Because in many cases, it fits both profiles very, very well.
I think back to the beginning of the year, and remembered how i started it. 2008 was a year of promise, career going well, had someone i was slowly falling for, and my family is as tightly knit as ever. Things seem pretty smooth sailing to me.
Someone told me that the way you spend New Years Eve is the way you were going to spend the new year. I think thats pretty bullshit lah. Here I am at the end of the year, and all i can think about are the negative thats happened.
But what if its the reverse? Say, if i had a totally bollocky new years eve, getting arrested by the cops for drink driving, find that my gf is making out with another guy, lose my commission, lose the ability to talk cock at a very fast pace, swallowing a piece of my shoe(wow. random.) even getting laughd at by my friends.. maybe its going to turn out better than expected! Maybe ill get rich or something, find nirvana, write a script that's worth millions, fall in love with the gal of my dreams, own a restaurant.. the positive things are endless! yes!
I shall do it! i Shall bollock up my new year!
Oh, who gives a fuck. I just wanna brood.
Happy New Year everyone. Ill be hiding in my bunk doing something really sad. Hah.
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
Terence Lee- An old classmate
For five years I've known you, yet we've became as strangers, oblivious to each other's presence.
There were times you shared, your sorrows and pains, your struggles and your weaknesses, but what did it amount to?
With silence you killed me and this relationship, pretending I'm a stranger.
Silence is lethal, it means nothing, yet says so much.
It causes the mind to go crazy, to speculate, and obliterate.
It says, "leave me alone!" Yet causes the heart to grow ever fonder.
Silence is a knife, cutting without a sound, splitting without much fuss.
It is potent, effective, yet empty at the same time.
It whispers "go no farther" to a car speeding at a hundred miles an hour.
Perhaps it's not me, but yourself, or the institution, that's causing you to feel this way.
Maybe you feel guilty, embaressed, or non-chalant.
Maybe you feel angry, sad, and disappointed.
Maybe it's disillusionment, disgust, and utter shame.
A thousand maybes, all the fruit of your silence.
Why do this to me, and to many others?
What irony, in the age of social networking, that you are silent yet loud at the same time.
Your Facebook profile screams at me, inviting me to peek into your life.
From personal to impersonal, your smile fades, your joy reeks, it disgusts me.
What hides behind that smile? Is it unbridled joy, endless sorrow, or something in between?
Your presence is an insult, a constant shadow, chasing me into my dreams.
It's time to let you go, yet it's so hard.
Maybe we will meet someday again, and I wish you success.
May you find happiness in your pursuits, and will you please reach your dreams for me?
Should you leave these shores, may you not forget yourself.
Someday, maybe, we will meet.
May God be with you.
Courtesy of Senhor Terence Lee, an ex-classmate with flair for the liguistics.
There were times you shared, your sorrows and pains, your struggles and your weaknesses, but what did it amount to?
With silence you killed me and this relationship, pretending I'm a stranger.
Silence is lethal, it means nothing, yet says so much.
It causes the mind to go crazy, to speculate, and obliterate.
It says, "leave me alone!" Yet causes the heart to grow ever fonder.
Silence is a knife, cutting without a sound, splitting without much fuss.
It is potent, effective, yet empty at the same time.
It whispers "go no farther" to a car speeding at a hundred miles an hour.
Perhaps it's not me, but yourself, or the institution, that's causing you to feel this way.
Maybe you feel guilty, embaressed, or non-chalant.
Maybe you feel angry, sad, and disappointed.
Maybe it's disillusionment, disgust, and utter shame.
A thousand maybes, all the fruit of your silence.
Why do this to me, and to many others?
What irony, in the age of social networking, that you are silent yet loud at the same time.
Your Facebook profile screams at me, inviting me to peek into your life.
From personal to impersonal, your smile fades, your joy reeks, it disgusts me.
What hides behind that smile? Is it unbridled joy, endless sorrow, or something in between?
Your presence is an insult, a constant shadow, chasing me into my dreams.
It's time to let you go, yet it's so hard.
Maybe we will meet someday again, and I wish you success.
May you find happiness in your pursuits, and will you please reach your dreams for me?
Should you leave these shores, may you not forget yourself.
Someday, maybe, we will meet.
May God be with you.
Courtesy of Senhor Terence Lee, an ex-classmate with flair for the liguistics.
Tuesday, December 09, 2008
I need a target
Oh well, things are pretty peachy for now. Just got my license, and been driving around like a crazy person for the past few days(crazy as in crazy BUT safe). Took leave for today so i cud relax abit and use up some of that un-used leave thats been accumulating.
Also, on another front, just did Judgement day and i just wanted to say how boring it was.. haha.. it was pretty straight forward lah, and i need a story with more twist than that.. It was too errmm.. serious for me.. but the cast and audience were really cool, so im good.
I want to welcome Shahdon back. Missed his orc laughter but now he's back, its just non-stop laughs. Im beginning to miss hanging with Yazid too, tho if things go as i see it, i could potentially see him everyday in camp(which is too lame for my taste :) )
Nearly got the car towed away on sunday, cos i totally forgot about the Standard Chart marathon. They had already set up, the tow truck was poised behind my car, and the cisco guys were already gesturing to each other about how to go about towing the car away. Luckily i got there in time after running my own marathon with zallie and hamad.. haha.. That was lucky!
I really need a target. or at least something to look forward too. Suddenly, everything feels so out of focus, theres no more joy in anything. I feel like a zombie sometimes. Going thru the motions. There doesnt seem to be anything that can cheer me up from this funk, and the more I try, the less i want to continue trying.
Maybe ill go get myself my own car. then i wont mope around quite so much. haha.
:)
OH and YAH! Do visit our new webby!
http://iwantayellowchair.com/
to get updates of our productions, past, future and present..
Also, on another front, just did Judgement day and i just wanted to say how boring it was.. haha.. it was pretty straight forward lah, and i need a story with more twist than that.. It was too errmm.. serious for me.. but the cast and audience were really cool, so im good.
I want to welcome Shahdon back. Missed his orc laughter but now he's back, its just non-stop laughs. Im beginning to miss hanging with Yazid too, tho if things go as i see it, i could potentially see him everyday in camp(which is too lame for my taste :) )
Nearly got the car towed away on sunday, cos i totally forgot about the Standard Chart marathon. They had already set up, the tow truck was poised behind my car, and the cisco guys were already gesturing to each other about how to go about towing the car away. Luckily i got there in time after running my own marathon with zallie and hamad.. haha.. That was lucky!
I really need a target. or at least something to look forward too. Suddenly, everything feels so out of focus, theres no more joy in anything. I feel like a zombie sometimes. Going thru the motions. There doesnt seem to be anything that can cheer me up from this funk, and the more I try, the less i want to continue trying.
Maybe ill go get myself my own car. then i wont mope around quite so much. haha.
:)
OH and YAH! Do visit our new webby!
http://iwantayellowchair.com/
to get updates of our productions, past, future and present..
Friday, December 05, 2008
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
Eddie Izzard on Star wars Cantina
hahahah... This is a made up scene with lego characters based on Eddie Izzards Stand up. It cracked me up just watching it. For those people prefering to see the original, its the second Video. Enjoy! :)
ORIGINAL!
ORIGINAL!
Friday, November 21, 2008
The Singaporean Dream
I had a conversation with Khamal a while back, and at that moment, it didnt strike a chord with me at all. I didnt agree when he said that being stuck in Singapore was the worst thing to happen to anyone. Getting a stable job, getting married, having a car and a condo, all this served only to root a person down, to prevent him from seeing the world.
I told him he was mad, that there was no better place to live in than Singapore. I told him how much i love my country, love my job, love my home.
Suddenly, things arent so clear. I saw a pic of a friend of mine, who is currently overseas, and i envy him. The total freedom of living in another place where things are different, and being given a chance to re-create oneself totally. New histories, new friends and a new life.
A second chance at everything.
Am I really ready to commit to anything now in my life? Am i willing to work in the same organisation for the rest of my days knowing that there's only one life to live? Am i super satisfied with what i have even though I wont be able to sate this recurrent feeling of wanderlust?
Doesnt matter. Someone once said that the best dreams are those that are unattainable.
I told him he was mad, that there was no better place to live in than Singapore. I told him how much i love my country, love my job, love my home.
Suddenly, things arent so clear. I saw a pic of a friend of mine, who is currently overseas, and i envy him. The total freedom of living in another place where things are different, and being given a chance to re-create oneself totally. New histories, new friends and a new life.
A second chance at everything.
Am I really ready to commit to anything now in my life? Am i willing to work in the same organisation for the rest of my days knowing that there's only one life to live? Am i super satisfied with what i have even though I wont be able to sate this recurrent feeling of wanderlust?
Doesnt matter. Someone once said that the best dreams are those that are unattainable.
Monday, November 17, 2008
HAHA! THIS IS COOL SHIT!
Watch the first video, then watch the second!
I swear, if Shai was to write Shows like this for a living, he would do the same damn thing..
:)
I swear, if Shai was to write Shows like this for a living, he would do the same damn thing..
:)
Sunday, November 16, 2008
Sailed away
Ive been watching CHUCK again!
Found this as i was perusing(yes, big word!) you tube on the series..
SAILED AWAY
Does it hurt to hear me say
That I never really meant to stay
I left you right where I want you
Now there's nothin' left
And not a reason
There's nothin' left to believe in
When just one remains
I've sailed away
Such a foolish game
That we have been playin'
Now you got me right where you want me
I left you in the right
But you wouldn't let me take the fall
Now you've got me right where you want me
CHORUS
Now there's nothin' left
And that's the reason
There's not much left to believe in
If it's all just the same
I'll sail away
You pushed so hard
You have to know that
You might just get what you wanted
And when just one remains
I've sailed away
I found out on my own
Everything that I've been missin'
Now I've got you right where I want you
Now that we're apart
I see just who you are
You're always gonna be
The one to keep hatin'
Now I've got you right where I want you
chorus
I'm not one to hide my face behind the pain
It's not like me to beg you to stay
I'll just sail away
chorus
And when just one remains
You know I've sailed away
Does it hurt to hear me say
That I never really meant to stay
Found this as i was perusing(yes, big word!) you tube on the series..
SAILED AWAY
Does it hurt to hear me say
That I never really meant to stay
I left you right where I want you
Now there's nothin' left
And not a reason
There's nothin' left to believe in
When just one remains
I've sailed away
Such a foolish game
That we have been playin'
Now you got me right where you want me
I left you in the right
But you wouldn't let me take the fall
Now you've got me right where you want me
CHORUS
Now there's nothin' left
And that's the reason
There's not much left to believe in
If it's all just the same
I'll sail away
You pushed so hard
You have to know that
You might just get what you wanted
And when just one remains
I've sailed away
I found out on my own
Everything that I've been missin'
Now I've got you right where I want you
Now that we're apart
I see just who you are
You're always gonna be
The one to keep hatin'
Now I've got you right where I want you
chorus
I'm not one to hide my face behind the pain
It's not like me to beg you to stay
I'll just sail away
chorus
And when just one remains
You know I've sailed away
Does it hurt to hear me say
That I never really meant to stay
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