If your familiar with first person shooters, you'd know that one's from Doom. The original FPS that had muliti-weapon arsenal, cool graphics and a bevy of monsters to take on that will never leave you bored. The reason why its the title for this is not because im blogging about it. Rather, i just like those few words, because evidentally, im knee deep in the sea of shit!
Thats right, ladies and Gents. I think its time you guys gave me the benefit of the doubt and just let me be. Please. I know how it looks and I frankly couldnt care less, but it affects us both and I would rather it just affect me. So if you have anything to say at all, say it to me. After all, I am the elder one here, so if anyone has anything to say feel free to knock on my door, but be aware that i might answer late, cos i can barely move my legs thru this dense concentration of faeces.
There are only 3 peoples opinion that matter. Hers. His. Him(the big guy). I love you guys. I would support you thru whatever you want to do, no matter how stupid or inane. I have laid down my time and my blood for you both, and I love you. If it hurts you im sorry. If it hurts the organisation, im sorry. I'm trying my best here, but all i get is shtick and i can take it, but she is finding it hard. So please. If not for me, then do it for her.
I know how it looks. She's young and part of our circle of friends, and im older, with a not very good track record. But why is it that im the bad one here? I just put myself out there you know? Ive been hurt so many times by the girls themselves, so why are you guys giving me a hard time as well? giving us?
Please. Im begging for all I am worth and, knowing that it doesnt amount to much, im begging some more. Please. Let us be. I can go on the whole day about how sorry I am, but like you said, its done. Neither of us saw it coming and when we both fell in it was too late to go back.
So please. Lend a helping hand to me cos the smell of shit is getting too strong.
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
Monday, June 15, 2009
Growing old
Im getting so old.
You know that feeling when every decision you make has consequences? And im not talking about the rewards. Its just that i keep finding myself in these damned-if-you-do-damned-if-you-don't circumstances. They just seem to pop up everywhere. I mean, seriously, you cant make these stuff up.
Ive been trying so hard to steer clear of trouble, to steer clear of any dramatic mishaps that seem to love manifesting itself in my life. Ive got a stable job, stable friends, stable life( and i dont mean anything equestrian here) but my life is still so full of IT! I seem to attract trouble. its exactly what happens to Jackie Chan in all his movies. You know? Where he gets attacked for no reason and all he can say is "Leave me ah-lone!" as he whoops some ass. He's got this really scared shit-less look on his face even as he keeps saying "I don wanna no troubre!" and karate-ing every mean guy in sight.
Im not enjoying this. I just want a life thats simple and fulfilling, with a good job, a great wife, kids, a house by a lake, a mini cooper, some weird but cool neighbours plus a novel to work on and im all set to kick back and wait for death to embrace me. Carpe Nox. The end. Finito. But to find this singaporean dream is so tough. so painful. So wrought with torturing emotions and with unendurable actions, not to mention almost impossible because a good lake is hard to find here. I wish i didnt feel like i betrayed people i love. I wish i could hold on to my wealth for my future. I wish i could do what i really want to do instead of settling for a job that i dont see a future in.
I want to decide! I want to find a reason why! i want to satisfy my need to constantly think 3 times into the matter and arrive nowhere whilst trying to look confident and unperturbed, smiling and joking away. Im an oxymoron, a thinking man of action, a stupid genius, a tragic smile, all this and more!
But all i want to be is normal. With normal problems. normal solutions. Normal.
This entry is written for me as an end user. So i apologise when i say, "go figure".
You know that feeling when every decision you make has consequences? And im not talking about the rewards. Its just that i keep finding myself in these damned-if-you-do-damned-if-you-don't circumstances. They just seem to pop up everywhere. I mean, seriously, you cant make these stuff up.
Ive been trying so hard to steer clear of trouble, to steer clear of any dramatic mishaps that seem to love manifesting itself in my life. Ive got a stable job, stable friends, stable life( and i dont mean anything equestrian here) but my life is still so full of IT! I seem to attract trouble. its exactly what happens to Jackie Chan in all his movies. You know? Where he gets attacked for no reason and all he can say is "Leave me ah-lone!" as he whoops some ass. He's got this really scared shit-less look on his face even as he keeps saying "I don wanna no troubre!" and karate-ing every mean guy in sight.
Im not enjoying this. I just want a life thats simple and fulfilling, with a good job, a great wife, kids, a house by a lake, a mini cooper, some weird but cool neighbours plus a novel to work on and im all set to kick back and wait for death to embrace me. Carpe Nox. The end. Finito. But to find this singaporean dream is so tough. so painful. So wrought with torturing emotions and with unendurable actions, not to mention almost impossible because a good lake is hard to find here. I wish i didnt feel like i betrayed people i love. I wish i could hold on to my wealth for my future. I wish i could do what i really want to do instead of settling for a job that i dont see a future in.
I want to decide! I want to find a reason why! i want to satisfy my need to constantly think 3 times into the matter and arrive nowhere whilst trying to look confident and unperturbed, smiling and joking away. Im an oxymoron, a thinking man of action, a stupid genius, a tragic smile, all this and more!
But all i want to be is normal. With normal problems. normal solutions. Normal.
This entry is written for me as an end user. So i apologise when i say, "go figure".
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